So, what do Barbara Sciandra and The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame going for the 2012 National Championship title have in common? Let me explain.
First of all, It’s been a while since I’ve written and I apologize. I hope that each one of you had a great Thanksgiving and took the time to be thankful for all that you have – most importantly, your health, your family, and your friends. I have to thank Lindsay Pietropola, one of my best friends, for creating and maintaining the “Take Them a Meal” website for us. She’s added dates to take us through my surgery and radiation treatment. You have no idea how helpful this has been for us, as a family. We appreciate this kind of help so much more than any of you know. So, Linds, as always, I gave thanks for your friendship this Thanksgiving. Happy Birthday, too!! You’re such a special person.
Well, up until this year, I could take Thanksgiving or leave it. Christmas was always my favorite holiday. This Thanksgiving, though, I took the time to truly appreciate the meaning behind the day. I had a very introspective weekend. I’ve never really taken the time to spend it in thought as much as I should. Most of us probably don’t. Personally, I’ve been trying to avoid “deep thoughts” because sometimes what I think about, especially now, terrifies me.
So, here’s the correlation between The Fighting Irish and me:
The last time that ND won a National Football Championship was in 1988. How do I know this, you ask? Because it was in the newspaper? No! Because it’s been all over ESPN? No! Because everyone has been talking about it? No! It’s because of memories….and an old sweatshirt that my Mom wears when she’s cooking or cleaning around her house. My stylish Mom would kill me for saying that this sweatshirt is, I believe, is from 1988! Don’t worry, though. It’s not as bad as her, “With Love, Neil Diamond,” t-shirt, or “Whatever it is….I didn’t do it”, t-shirt! Anyway, this sweatshirt stating, “ND 1988 National Champions,” got me thinking. In 1988, I was 10 years old. I don’t have too many memories from 1988. In 1983, I was 5 years old and was in kindergarten. I have one memory from kindergarten and it involves the Michael Jackson, Thriller, album, and we won’t even go there! Right now, in 2012, Jameson is 5, Chase is 4, and Cameron is 6 months old. Thinking about my Mom’s sweatshirt from 1988 brought me to a harsh reality. If something happens to me now or in 5 years from now, my kids won’t remember me at all. It saddens me so much to think about my kids not being able to remember how much I love them. They would have to rely on trusting stories about me from other people. Cameron would never know, first hand from me, that she saved my life. I can’t tell you how much I value every second that I have to spend with Sal and my kids. Eventually, stories, pictures, silly sweatshirts, and memories are all that we have left of each other. And, sadly, over time, even memories begin to fade. Try to hang on to them as much as you can.
I know that I’m usually very upbeat, but thinking about this over the Thanksgiving holiday actually made me feel very depressed. My kids don’t deserve this and my husband certainly didn’t sign up for this. I was Christmas shopping by myself last night and couldn’t help but pick up one of those recordable Hallmark books. It’s the story of the First Christmas. I’m planning on leaving a recorded message on there for my kids. Hopefully, one day, as the 3 kids are much, much older, we can sit and laugh about my corny recording and why I left it for them. God willing, none of my fears will become a reality and cancer will be gone faster than it arrived. I’m really not asking God’s mercy for much. At least I don’t think that I am. I just want a little more time – time to, at the least, see my kids through high school and travel a little more with Sal. Please keep us in your prayers.
But, back to The Fighting Irish and me. It’s definitely not a coincidence that Notre Dame is playing for the National Championship title 2 days before my last chemotherapy treatment and for the first time in 24 years. Go, Fight, Win……
LIVESTRONG and God Bless!
Barb, thanks for keepin’ it real. You would not be human if you weren’t afraid. You have handled this whole ordeal with more grace than I ever could. I’m in awe, proud to call you my friend, and I honestly have faith that you WILL Go, Fight, and Win…Much love, prayers abound!
Long live the Irish!
Long live their cheer!
Long live friendships,
Year after year.
Barb, keep going & fighting.
You will win
You are surrounded by lots of angels.
I think some of them are IRISH!!!
I know how you feel.You brought tears to my eyes. Stay strong!
Let’s put a positive spin on the kids not remembering things in another 5 years. That means when they look back on the times that were some of the most horrific for you, they’ll have no recollection of how difficult a time it was. Thankfully, they won’t remember cancer. Sadly, they won’t remember “Suga”. And if all goes as it should, they won’t remember that God forsaken “gangnam style” song. These will be distant memories for all of us. You will not only be around to nurture your children, but also to play with your grandchildren, and have fun with your nieces and nephews. You have a long, happy life ahead of you and this is just a bump in the road. Head high, Barb. You’re an inspiration to us all!
Oh, and by the way, how terrible is that “whatever it is…I didn’t do it shirt”?!? Almost as bad as Dad’s Tasmanian devil. The kids are going to have so much ammunition on us. Imma cry!
Xoxo
This Thanksgiving your story made us all more aware of what we have to be thankful for! I think and pray for you daily and now that my Mondays are a bit more open I will be on your volunteer list for anything you may need!!!! Stay posiitive my strong girl. You put those fears into words and you are dealing with them….awesome woman that you are. Your Sal is a great man in so many ways…and he knows he has one hell of a woman in YOU!!! Love to all
ya know Barb i am not sure if it was your influence or not(probably was) but this Thanksgiving was different. i started, once all the kids got home asking them, “what exactly is Thanksgiving? and what does it mean to us all? started a lot of conversation, laughs, pondering etc. we were all together that was the first thing to be thankful for, we all agreed!
when you have loved ones, friends, neighbors, going through tough times it makes you sit back and think; wonder,appreciate and thank God for what you have and it makes you so much more aware of how lucky you are.You have done that for us by all your words and sharing.
You have decided to be thankful, appreciative, blessed and some-days i am sure that is very hard to do. Cannot begin to imagine; You are Barbstrong, but you are human and those side thoughts have to come in but i must say all those feelings you are having about time and kids growing and missing things; that is all our biggest fear isn’t it; i do not even have anything i am fighting right now and i think what happens if we don’t make lindsey’s wedding, keegan’s graduation etc etc.
Don’t let up now Barb, we ARE the Fighting Irish and we will see this to the end, free of cancer. You will not miss a thing we pray.
Continued prayers for you and yours nightly.
ya know, one of my Mom’s biggest dreams is to be at a Notre dame game and you have me fired up about that now; i need to make that a reality….i can picture my Dad, neighbor Bill and my hubby all on the couch with their ND Irish sweatshirts on!!!!
Thank you for that memory.
B