Dec

It Could Always be Worse

posted by:

Barb

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” 2 Corinthians 4:16 – used by President Barack Obama in addressing the residents of Newtown, Connecticut, after the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School

Yesterday rounded out a week’s worth of doctor’s appointments. Last Monday, Sal and I visited the University of Pennsylvania to meet with the oncologist and radiation oncologist. On Tuesday, I had an OB-GYN appointment for a yearly exam. On Wednesday, I had chemo. On Thursday, I had an appointment with the dentist. Because of the chemo which will be followed by radiation, I need to go for dental cleanings every 3 months instead of every 6 to keep my smile pearly white!! On Friday, I met with an ENT. My freaking ear!!!! My right ear has been completely blocked for almost 3 weeks. It’s so annoying! I’ll never take my hearing for granted again. With all of the various chemo poison that’s cranking through my system, who would have thought that an ear infection would knock me on my ass?!! The ENT looked at my right ear and said, “What a weird looking eardrum.” Thank you! Thank you very much! He then proceeded to look at it under the microscope and put a weird vacuum-suctiony thing in my ear. That did nothing, so he asked me if I would allow him to do a myringotomy. Go nuts! He punctured my ear drum in 2 places to try to drain the fluid that’s stuck back there. The drainage worked for a day. The damn ear won’t clear up. I’ll see if Dr. Saidman can take a look at it tomorrow. The next step to alleviate the annoyance is to have a tube put in my ear, like kids get, to keep the fluid draining. Good times! Lastly, yesterday, I saw the eye doctor for a yearly appointment, had a PET Scan, and took Jameson and Chase to the allergist for their yearly appointment. Tomorrow, I have my 9th treatment of Taxol and Herceptin. I feel like I’m 90 years old running from doctor’s appointment to doctor’s appointment!!!! I’ll get the results of the PET Scan tomorrow, also, so please keep me in your prayers.

I’ve been running into many of you recently as the Christmas season is upon us. I find some of the things that you say to me to be rather funny. Many of you are surprised to see me out and about which cracks me up! I’m not dying……unless someone hasn’t let me in on the secret and I’m living in The Truman Show! Good Morning….and if I don’t see you, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Good Night! Anyway, here are the answers to some of your questions. I’m not full of crap. Everything that I’ve been writing about is how I feel. Yes, I am this positive. Being positive is my choice. I can shrivel up in a ball and hide in my bedroom, but being miserable and scared isn’t going to cure me of cancer. I’d rather be pleasant while continuing to live my life as normally as I possibly can. Of course I have moments of weakness and I do cry sometimes, but I find it to be when my guard is down – when I’m tired or fighting off an infection. Other than that, I’m trying to remain as upbeat and as social as I would normally be around the holidays. I’m living in the moment and trying to be really tough for my husband and my kids. Besides that, no one likes a weenie!

So, it could always be worse. I’ve been saying that since August, but it’s become even more apparent to me since this past Friday. I would hope that all of you watch the news or take the time to read the headlines every day. If you do, then I’m certain that you know what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School – 20 children, ages 6-7, and 6 adults were killed there on Friday morning. I’m assuming that you’ll agree that whatever you have going on in your life – it could always be worse. This hit way too close to home for me. I can’t stop thinking about the parents from Newtown, Connecticut, and what a nightmare they must be living. I realize that there is a never a good time for tragedy to strike, but to have something so horrific happen right before the holidays is just plain cruel. It’s sad that it often takes a tragedy such as this to put one’s own life into perspective.

I’ll end with a few pictures from this past weekend. Friends of ours are kind enough to invite us to their holiday gathering every year where Santa makes a “surprise” visit. We’re blessed with awesome friends and really good kids! In the matter of a week, Cameron cut her second tooth, started sitting up on her own, and is now crawling. How anyone can harm a baby or a toddler is beyond me.