So, I feel like a train wreck!  I’m trying to see how many procedures I can jam pack into a week’s time.  So far, I’m up to five!  Here’s how next week is looking:

Monday, March 11:  I need to have my port-o-cath replaced.  I received a phone call from the University of Pennsylvania this afternoon.  Apparently, my pre-admission chest x-ray showed that my port was not in good position.  My heart skipped a bit when the nurse told me that she needed to discuss my chest x-ray with me.  I can handle a lot, but I don’t think I can handle one more piece of bad news right now.  I received the call when I was on my way to the school to pick up the kids.  Anyway, my guess is that the port probably shifted during surgery.  Also, I’ve been losing weight, too, which probably contributed to the movement.  My cousin, Dr. Blaum will be replacing it for me locally.  Since I’m scheduled for another procedure on Friday, I tried to see if I would be able to get everything done at Penn in one shot but it wasn’t possible.  Anesthesia twice in one week…….oh, the joy!

Tuesday, March 12:  I have a dental cleaning.  I need to see my dentist every 3 months for routine cleanings.

Wednesday, March 13:  I meet with Dr. Saidman, my local oncologist, then receive a Herceptin treatment.

Thursday, March 14:  I have to be at NROC in the morning for a “trial run” of radiation.  I begin radiation treatments on Monday, March 18.  The process is quite fascinating, actually.  This past week, I received my 3 tattoos – one below my left breast, one in the center of my chest, and one below my right breast.  I consider these part of my battle scars and I’m very proud of them.  They also used styrofoam to make a mold of my head and arms to ensure that I’m in the exact same position every day for 6 weeks.  It’s all pretty cool.  After this appointment, Sal and I head down to Penn for an over night stay.  We’re staying in the same dump of a hotel that we stayed in prior to my mastectomy.  Sal originally booked a nicer place, but I’ll probably need to arrive at the hospital by 5:30am on Friday and the slum pit is just way too convenient.  Anyway, I see Dr. Serletti, my plastic surgeon, for a follow-up visit on Thursday afternoon.  I’m hoping that I’m cleared to begin lifting Cameron again and to start running.

Friday, March 15:  I’m scheduled for an early morning oophorectomy with Dr. Steve Rubin at Penn.  I’m so happy to be having this procedure done.  A car won’t run without gas just like any lingering cancer cells can’t grow without estrogen.  Welcome, early menopause!  This reminded me of my all-time favorite SNL skit.  My cousin, Christy, was kind enough to forward it to me.  Please check it out and hold on to your Fing hat!!!!

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/annuale/n12189/

 

I have to share a funny story with you about my pre-admission chest x-ray that was done at Penn a week or so ago.  Sal can’t believe that I waited so long to share this with him.

 

Setting:  Abramson Cancer Center, 1st floor x-ray.  I get changed in the women’s locker room and the x-ray tech, a short heavy middle-aged man comes in to get me.

X-ray tech:  Good afternoon!  You’re here for a chest x-ray?

Barb:  Good afternoon!  Yes, I am.  How’s it going?  How’s your day?

X-ray tech:  My day’s going well.  OK, here’s what I need you to do (gets out 2 small things that I’ve never seen before).  I’m going to walk out of the room.  I need you to place these stickers on your nipples.

Barb:  Ummmm (thinking what do I say, what do I say)…….I don’t have any nipples!

X-ray tech:  Excuse me?

Barb:  I, ummmmmmm, I don’t have any nipples.

SILENCE

Barb:  I had a double mastectomy a month ago so I don’t have any nipples.

UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE

X-ray tech:  OK, then, I guess we don’t need theses.  I’ll put these away (puts stickers back in the cabinet).  So, what are you receiving this test for today?

Barb:  I have to have my ovaries removed in a week.

X-ray tech:  Oh, yeah, there is a link between breast cancer and ovarian cancer.  It was on my test.  I got it right.

 

I swear that this really happened.  You can’t make this stuff up!!  I was in the Abramson Cancer Center.  I can’t be the first woman to receive a chest x-ray who’s had a mastectomy!!!  Can you believe that Sal and I drove home – a 2 hour car ride – and I failed to mention this to him?!!!  How crazy is it that stuff like this is starting to become the new normal??!!!

One more thing and then I’m finished.  Please, don’t be embarrassed about your age – EVER.  Whether you feel too young or too old, be happy that you’re alive.  Embrace each and every year.  Be proud of your number.  I’m looking forward to my 35th birthday (which I normally wouldn’t be looking forward to) in June when I can put all of this nonsense behind me.  I should be finished up with most of this by May so I’m really looking forward to my birthday this year.  Enjoy every blow of every candle!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!