Sal and I met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Chris Peters, last week.  He was just awesome!  I believe that I mentioned that Dr. Peters and his facility was recommended by the University of Pennsylvania, Dr. Saidman, and my cousin’s husband, Dr. John Farrell.  I said at the very beginning of this journey that a physician’s bedside manner didn’t really matter to me.  As it turns out, as much as we tell ourselves that it doesn’t matter, it really does.  Dr. Peters was so kind and he explained everything so well.  I was worried about not being able to be around the kids during radiation, but I am able to be – radiation therapy does not make me radioactive like a PET Scan.  Dr. Peters is very confident that I’m going to be ok.  I’m so lucky that a different type of cancer was found in each breast.  It means that my cancer is not a Stage 4 – it did not metastasize.  After everything is said and done, my chance of recurrence is about 10% which is pretty good considering the state of the union in August.

So, a rough weekend doesn’t have the same meaning that it did when I was a 22 year old single woman without any kids living in the city.  A rough weekend for a 34 year old married mother of three living in suburbia takes on a whole new meaning!  With three kids five and under, there is never a dull moment in the Sciandra house!

On Friday morning, Chase woke up with a “tummy ache” and a low grade fever so we kept him home from school.  As the day progressed, I felt like I should have sent him to school.  He played for most of the day and wanted to watch Star Wars!  He did melt my heart when he told me that he was happy to be spending the day with me.  I loved it, too.  It made me want to home school for about 2 seconds!  Chase fell asleep on the couch around 3 and Cameron couldn’t figure out why her big brother was ignoring her.  She kept pulling herself up to catch a peak of “Sleeping Chase” and would giggle and fall down.  I have it on video.  It was really cute.

On Saturday morning, Chase seemed ok, so we packed up the 3 kids and headed to a birthday party at The Adventure Zone where they have huge, inflatable bounce houses.  I could tell after about 20 minutes that Chase wasn’t himself.  He wanted to take a break which never happens and he sat out for a while.  When we got home from the party, he was still running around and felt a little warm.  We had friends over on Saturday night and by 8pm, Chase had a fever of 103.1.  Great!  Sal took Chase to urgent care and the PA there said that he had an ear infection.  I asked Sal to have him swabbed for influenza, also.  Of course, Chase tested positive for influenza A.  Needless to say, the season of giving didn’t stop this December in the Sciandra house!  Chase was kind enough to pass the same flu on to me and I ended up in urgent care on Sunday evening.  The PA, a different one, completely panicked when my fever registered at 102.3 and my heart rate was 150.  She had me admitted into the ER and told me she hoped that I would be well enough to have my procedure on February 1.  Oh dear Lord!  So dramatic!  If I wasn’t feeling so sick, I would have told her to relax.  I took 400mg of Motrin and started pounding water before my IV fluids were started.  I looked SO GOOD in the ER.  The nurse suggested I take my bini cap off since my temp was so high.  A little while later, I found myself vomiting in a garbage can, bald, wearing a hospital gown from the waist up, and hanging off the front and side of the gurney.  Dr. Sam Saylor, the ER doc, was super cool and really nice.  He sent me home with Tamiflu and Zofran around midnight so I could sleep in my own bed.  I made it through 20 weeks of chemo without vomiting, but my body couldn’t handle a little flu!  I might be a weenie after all!  Thankfully (knock on wood), Jameson, Cameron and Sal have escaped unharmed!  I’m hoping that it stays that way.

Sal and I returned from the University of Pennsylvania last night.  I had a mammogram (probably my last one ever), an MRI, met with both my breast and reconstructive surgeons, completed pre-admission testing which consisted of bloodwork and an EKG, and received a tour of the unit where I’ll be admitted for 5 days and 4 nights.  The last 2 days were very busy but very informative.  Penn is a great facility and I would highly recommend it.  The reconstructive surgeon really is the best in the country for the type of procedure that I’ll be having and I feel very comfortable knowing that he’ll be working on me.  Patients with botched procedures from around the country seek out Dr. Serletti, so I’m happy that he’ll be treating me first, not second!  Sal and I really did our homework before choosing Penn.  I’m happy that it’s an awesome facility so close to home.

My surgery is 2 weeks away this Friday.  Once again, I apologize now, but I’ll be in hiding!  I’m going to try to stay out of the public from now until then because I can’t afford to be sick again.  As my surgery date draws closer, I’m constantly asked if I’ve nervous.  I’m not and here’s why.

Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Not Scared to Have a Bilateral Mastectomy:

10.  Bamp bamp, ba bamp, ba bamp bamp, ba bamp, I’m gonna be sedated!

9.  I was planning on having a breast reduction once Sal and I were finished having kids.  This is just giving me the nudge to do so immediately.

8.  My insurance is paying for a breast reduction and a tummy tuck at the same time.

7.   I can once again wear button down shirts without the buttons popping.

6.  I’ll be reaching my goal weight without using Weight Watchers.

5.  I’ve always wanted to be able to wear a strapless bathing suit comfortably.  The time has come!

4.  I’ll once again be able to run comfortably.

3.  Dr. Brian Czerniecki and Dr. Joseph Serletti are 2 of the best surgeons in the country.

2.  My breasts turned on me.  I don’t wish to keep company with anyone or anything that isn’t loyal or can’t be trusted.

1.  Cancer will be gone from my body, hopefully, for the rest of forever on February 1, 2013.

I, of course, joke quite a bit about everything.  Humor is my way of coping with difficult situations.  I’m not, however, looking forward to the first jackass telling me how lucky I am to have a “new body”.  Lucky would be keeping the same body and not having a cancer cloud following me around for the rest of my life like I’m pigpen.  Yes, a smaller chest and a flatter tummy is my silver lining, but I’d trade it back for a clean bill of health in a heartbeat.  I’m asking you kindly not to be an idiot.

Lance Armstrong – I’m not sure.  I’m looking forward to seeing his interview with Oprah tonight and tomorrow night.  I am, by no means, condoning what he did, but he still rode the bike and beat the snot out of cancer.

“Nothing is ever wasted unless we waste it – time, money, our love, our thinking, ourselves.  It’s up to us.”  – Unknown

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

First, Penn State fans, are you really going to give me a hard time?  That’s all I’m going to say to you!  Next, I root for an Irish team in Indiana because I’m Irish!  Anyone who is Irish, wishes they were Irish, or knows someone who’s Irish should do the same!!

So, it was a tough loss on Monday night.  Actually, it was terrible!  It was very difficult to watch because it wasn’t even an exciting game.  Sadly, the Crimson Tide mopped the floor with the Fighting Irish.  Here’s the thing, though.  My Dad must have one favor that he can call in per year in heaven.  It must be more important to him for me to beat cancer than for Notre Dame to win the National Championship this year!  There’s always next year – they’ll have another really strong team, so look out.  Thanks to all of you SOB’s for rubbing this one in my face!!  I appreciate it!

I had my last treatment of Taxol and Herceptin today.  Sal and I also met with Dr. Saidman.  That guy is awesome.  I had a lot of questions for him today.  We talked about recurrence – how you know, where it goes, and what it looks like.  Dr. Saidman seems fairly confident (YAY!!!!) that I’ll be ok after all of my treatments have been completed, but I needed to understand the physiology of this cancer.  We also spoke about the Tamoxifen versus Arimidex study that I read about 2 weeks ago.  Dr. Saidman was familiar with it.  I’ll be having bloodwork to check the function of the CYP2D6 enzyme in my body.  This will help to determine if Tamoxifen will work for me.  If I’m deficient, then we’ll need to determine whether or not my ovaries should be removed.  This is a big decision because removing my ovaries will likely put me into early menopause which has its own set of complications.  So, more prayers for normal CYP2D6 function and a positive outcome from Tamoxifen which I hope to start after the completion of radiation therapy.

Sal and I were getting all of my paperwork and slides ready for our appointment with Dr. Peters tomorrow.  I sat and read everything for only the third time since all of this happened back in August.  I purposefully didn’t take the time to dwell on the words or the numbers for the past 5 months because no good comes of it.  It was all bad – Stage 3 cancer in my left breast with lymph node involvement, Stage 2 cancer in my right breast, high tumor markers, 2 different kinds of cancer in each breast, an inflammatory type, etc.  I have somewhat of a medical background and seeing my name associated with all of this scared/scares the shit out of me, to be quite frank.  But, I’ve thought about something that my brother-in-law (Mark, you are, sort of, right?!!) wrote to me at the very beginning of this journey.  I, too, firmly believe that a healthy mind and attitude contributes to a healthy body:

“If you think you’re beaten you are. If you think you dare not, you don’t. If you say you can, but think you can’t, it’s almost a cinch you won’t. Life’s little battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man, For sooner or later the one who wins is the one who thinks he can.  What the mind believes the body achieves.”

I’m happy to report that I feel like I’m beating cancer – much like Alabama beat Notre Dame!  It wasn’t pretty but it was a win!  Let’s go, HoneyBadger!

Here’s a picture of me at my last chemo today.  My eyes look really tired because I’m really tired!  We stopped putting cereal in Cameron’s bottle per Dr. Penugonda’s instructions.  We’re having trouble getting her to eat off the spoon and she’s getting up in the middle of night again!  What a difference a few days make!  Side note:  it’s my fault.  I’ve been home with Cameron longer than I was with Jameson or Chase.  I baby her.  I hold her, pretty much, all day long.  She’ll be 8 months old on January 29 and she takes a bottle more than she should.  It will take a few days to break the “bottle habit”, but I don’t care!  She’s my last baby and she saved my life.  This is the least that I can do for her.  She’s so cute and so pleasant.  What a blessing that baby is in my life.

Quick beauty tip if you’ve never learned this one, ladies:  if you leave the house without any make-up, always wear lipstick.  It works wonders for your coloring.  In having cancer, trust me, lipstick has helped me to never look sick.

For those of you who are local, I wanted to let you know that the Greater Pittston YMCA is hosting an event on Sunday, January 20, 2013 from 5-7 at Palazzo 53 on Main Street in Pittston.  The cost is $50 per person and proceeds benefit the YMCA’s, THRIVE – Cancer Recovery Wellness Program.  Reservations can be made by calling the YMCA at 570-655-2255 or by e-mailing executive director, Craig Lukatch at clukatch@greaterpittstonymca.org.  The maximum reservation is 150, but donations, I’m sure, will be accepted if they’re already booked.

I started thinking about a card that read the following, “Not all superheros wear capes.”  This certainly applies to all of the selfless healthcare providers that sacrifice their time and give of themselves to help their patients.  I’m so very fortunate and so very thankful for the excellent care that I’ve been receiving throughout this ordeal.  If you don’t already, consider giving your time, talent, or treasure to a worthwhile cause.  You’ll feel so good about yourself in doing so.

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth.”  – Muhammad Ali

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

How can you live in Northeastern Pennsylvania and root for Alabama?!!  Check out this video.  It’s pretty funny…….http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvyknw4VClE

I’m not going to write much tonight because the big game starts at 8:30.  I have a few quick updates for you.  First, welcome Cole Davis Kiefer!!  Audra and Mark’s son was born on January 3.  Both Mom and baby are doing really well.  Cole is so, so cute!  We can’t wait to meet him.  Next, my last chemo is scheduled for this Wednesday!  I have to keep my port-o-cath in until the end of the year, at the least, though, because I’ll be getting Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks.  Sal and I are meeting with a local radiation oncologist on Thursday.  His name is Dr. Chris Peters and he’s out of the NROC (Northeast Radiation Oncology Center) group in Dunmore.  He comes highly recommended from quite a few trusted sources.  Their facility also utilizes inverse planning IMRT (Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy) which Penn recommended so we’re extremely happy that I can receive such excellent care so close to home.  The finish line is still a bit blurry, but it’s within sight.

I’m praying that we have our first AWESOME news of 2013 tonight.  I’m excited to dress my kids in National Championship gear this March!  I hope that, I, too, will have a shabby National Championship sweatshirt much like my Mom’s that my own kids will remember me wearing.  With people like Jim and Joe Fisher and Yogi Michael in heaven, Notre Dame Has to win!  I’m certain that the three of them, along with many other family and friends, are relaxing in an Irish bar watching the pre-game on a large flat screen right now.  And, there’s good news for my Dad – junk food doesn’t cause high cholesterol in heaven!  Let’s go Irish!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless……and Roll OVER Tide, ND!

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Semisonic, Closing Time

Every time I hear this song, I think of a few things.  First, and foremost, I think of my friend, Cathy Ramiza.  Next, I think about college and a strange ride home.  Lastly, I think about the movie, Friends With Benefits – Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis – cute movie.

Anyway, Happy New Year!  I hope that each one of you are doing well.  We had a very busy week leading up to the New Year.  It was really fun, but really busy.  I apologize to those of you that I had to break plans with or decline on plans.  On New Year’s Eve, I wanted to spend a quite night with Sal and the kids to ring in the New Year.  We did just that and it was really nice.  The big kids had a blast playing the Wii and wearing their new pj’s from my cousin, Katie.  They’re a riot!  Cam was in bed by 6pm.  She’s been sleeping at least 12 hours a night which has been great.  Here are a few pics from this past week:

Here is a pic of me in the snow on Saturday evening.  We were supposed to get an inch or so and ended up with about eight.  I should have been a meteorologist.  You still get paid every time you’re not correct.  Sorry!  Anyway, we still made it to a basketball birthday party in the afternoon and a gathering at a friend’s house in the evening.  Both were a great time.  When we got home, we put the kids to bed and started digging out.

Sal loves his snowblower!  His quad will be ready for the next snowfall!

We went to Mass at 4:30 on New Year’s Eve and came home to find the following bottle on our porch.  It’s from our dear friends and neighbors, Cheryl and Kellie.  It was so thoughtful of them.  It made Sal and I start laughing as soon as we saw it.  Cheryl and Kellie have twin girls a few months younger than Jameson and a little boy a few days younger than Cameron.  The kids are crazy about each other.  Fast forward 10 years from now – TROUBLE!!!

Sir Chase and Madame Jameson!  Chase probably wanted to wear a real tux (or a tuxmedo, as he was calling it) while Jameson probably wanted to wear a really fancy dress with real (tacky) jewels!  Cameron has the same pair as Jameson.  They looked so cute!  So, you’ll all get a kick out of this, too.  During Christmas Eve Mass last week, we were sitting behind friends of ours who thought that it was so funny that Chase was wearing a suit.  I told them how Chase loves being dressed up – sport coat, tie, suspenders.  They started referring to him as Alex P. Keaton which I thought was a riot.  While this was going on, Chase was winking at the little girl that he goes to school with who was sitting in front of him next to her Mom.  I’m not kidding.  Like I said, we’re in trouble.

So, after we got the kids to bed, Sal wanted to open a bottle of champagne.  We’ve been saving this 1996 bottle of Dom Perignon for quite sometime.  We graduated from high school together in 1996, thought that it was a good sign and decided to pop it!   I even got our fancy glasses out!  Cheers to all of you for much health and happiness in the upcoming year!  By the way, I think that New Year’s is lame.

We planned on having a quiet day on New Year’s Day, but then Sal and I decided to invite my Mom and Sal’s parents over for dinner.  I was inspired to cook, so I made a pot of chicken soup, an egg casserole, and 2 pork loins.  Apparently, you’re supposed to have pork on New Year’s Day.  I don’t think that I did last year.  That’s probably why I got breast cancer in 2012!!!!

The nanny search.  I’m not really sure what we’re doing with this.  I got so sick right after Thanksgiving which is why I was having such a tough time managing everything.  We’re going to hold off for right now and just see how the next month and a half goes.  My sister will be home until mid-February which will be a big help with Cameron, so we’ll see how things are going.

My thank you cards.  Please bear with me.  My goal was to have them finished by Christmas.  Obviously, that didn’t happen.  They’re going out slowly – one by one – in no order at all!  Now, my goal is to have them finished before February 1.  Please know how thankful and appreciative both Sal and I are for all that you continue to do.  You’re all a part of my Strong Box, remember?  Your love and support helps me to remain so tough and I thank you all for your kindness and words of encouragement.

Right now, we’re less than one month away from the big day.  I had my 11th chemo treatment today and I have one more to go.  It’s gone by so fast.  I’m so, so lucky that I’ve tolerated everything as well as I have.  I don’t want to jinx it, but my ear is slowly on the mend, too.  Of all things, my ear!  I saw the ENT last Friday.  He told me that the fluid is gone, but it could take another month to heal completely.  At least I won’t need tubes in my ear.  I’m currently going through spurts of hearing and not hearing.  I cherish the moments that I can hear without a crackle or the “Charlie Brown Mom” noise in my ear!  Right now, it’s about 50% better than it was 5 weeks ago.

A few people have asked me if I’m nervous about having the mastectomy on February 1 and I’m really not.  I’m happy that I’m having the reconstruction done at the same time because I think that it would be rather traumatic to wake up without breasts.  It would also be difficult trying to explain things to the kids.  Maybe that’s just me, but I’m happy that I need to endure general anesthesia only once.  The surgery will be easy for me – I’ll be asleep for 8 to 10 hours.  It will be tough for Sal and my family having to wait for so long.  Sal, my Mom, and my sister will be in Philadelphia and the rest of our family will be in Laflin looking after the kids.  I’m looking forward to waking up from surgery and saying, “I saw Blue.  He looked glorious!”  My dream is to one day have someone sing the following song replacing Stacy with Chase:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4.  You all hate me, I know!

During chemo today, Sal and I came up with a list of goals for 2013.  We also started a list called, “The Sciandra Wellness Act of 2013”.  I’ll share a few of them with you:

1.  Beat Cancer

2.  Pray more – not just in times of need, but also to give thanks for what you’ve been blessed with

3.  Be more thoughtful – make an opportunity once a month

4.  Have more gatherings for family and friends

5.  Read more

6.  Our “Wellness Act” consists of ways to live healthier:  30 minutes of cardio at least 4 times per week, eating more fruits and vegetables, eating 3 meals per day, and beating cancer!

Right after my diagnosis, I said to Sal very seriously, “Sal, I want only 2 things for Christmas this year.”  He said, “Anything, Barb.”  I said, “I want to beat cancer and finish my basement!!!!”  I can’t tell you what Sal said as I started laughing.  Our basement isn’t even close to being finished which means that I have one hell of a shot of beating cancer!!

So, 2013 is the Year of the Snake.  It is.  I looked it up!  I was hoping it was the Year of the Honeybadger, but whatever!  What does the Year of the Snake mean?  Well, I think it’s a pretty awesome sign.  According to astrology.com:

“Welcome to Year of the Water Snake! Snake is the Yin to last year’s Dragon Yang.  That said, Snake does not settle for mediocrity, either.  We’re likely to see significant developments in the area of science and technology this year.  Research and development are apt to flourish.  This is a Water year as well, the element most closely associated with education and research, making 2013 a very special year for scientists and scholars.  Snake is a great sign, a positive one, with energy that can help us face all of the challenges ahead of us.  Let’s take advantage of this vibrant influence to improve our lives — and our world!”

Believe and Hope!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Hey Everyone!  Merry Christmas!  I hope that each one of you had an awesome couple of days.  We’ve been having a blast here, in the Sciandra house.  We are officially outnumbered by kids and it’s complete madness!!  My house, that is very important to me to keep clean and organized, is a mess!!  It’s ok, though, because we can see the magic in the kids’ eyes.  Cameron enjoyed her first Christmas.  She loved putting ribbon in her mouth and laughing at her big sister and big brother.  She’s now able to sit in a high chair and is enjoying her fruits and vegetables.  Applesauce is her fruit of choice!  Chase was so excited on Christmas that Sal was calling it an out of body experience!  He was so tired last night that he started sleep walking after we put him to bed – twice!  I was scared at first because this has never happened before and I didn’t know if something was wrong.  Then, I realized what was going on – after Sal checked him out!  I’m sure every neurotic mother has yelled downstairs for her husband in a panic at one point or another!  Last night was my night!  Jameson was pumped!  She’s been riding around the house on her Razor scooter the past 2 days and she’s been coloring up a storm.  She loves her new lip gloss and nail polish as well as her American Girl doll!  Sal and I feel truly blessed to be able to spend the holidays with our kids.  They mean the world to us.

On Christmas Eve, we went to Mass and had dinner at my aunt’s house.  When we got home, Sal and I put the kids to bed and starting prepping the house while watching our favorite movie, It’s a Wonderful Life.  I know that I’ve said it before, but if you haven’t seen it, please watch it!  I got a hold of my friend, Colleen, too, to remind her about the Christmas Eve incident of 1996.  Everything is good!!  Anyway, I get so emotional at the end of the movie every time I watch it, this year especially.  Clarence, George Bailey’s guardian angel who hasn’t yet earned his angel wings, reminds George throughout the second half of the movie about what a wonderful life George has been living.  The movie ends, first with a toast from George’s younger brother, Harry – “A toast – to my big brother, George, the richest man in town.”  Next, you see a note from Clarence to George:  “Remember, George:  No man is a failure who has friends.  P.S.  Thanks for the wings.”  Just then, a bell on the tree rings signifying Clarence has received his wings for helping George realize that his life really is wonderful despite his troubles.  I could’t help but feeling how rich I feel with love, support, family and friends this year more than ever.  So, thanks to each and every one of you for all of your help.  2013 is going to be a wonderful year!

I had my 10th treatment of Taxol and Herceptin this morning.  I only have 2 more chemotherapy treatments to go.  I can’t believe it.  Time is going by so quickly.  Things are going very, very well.  My ear – that’s a different story!  I still can’t hear out of my right ear.  I have a follow-up with the ENT on Friday morning and we’ll see what he suggests.  I would rather not have a tube put in my ear, but we’ll have to see what my options are.  It’s a nuisance, but it’s not a real problem.  If this is the only bump in the road during my “cancer journey”, then I consider myself pretty damn lucky.  It could be so much worse.  I’m still on track for surgery on February 1 at Penn followed by radiation in the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area.  I’ll be receiving Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks until the end of October 2013 and will also be starting Tamoxifen.  However, I just came across a new study a few minutes ago that I need to speak to my oncologists about.  The study compared Tamoxifen and Arimidex and the enzyme that metabolizes the drugs.  Arimidex seems to be better in a certain population and this population can be detected with a simple blood test.  If any of you pharmacists, doctors, or nurses are reading this and know anything worthwhile, please e-mail or call me.  I’d appreciate any feedback.  Also, PT’s and OT’s, I’ll be relying on you for an exercise program post-mastectomy.  I’ve been reading about how important it is to work your arms, especially before radiation.  Have your people get a hold of my people (me)!!!

We have a busy couple of days coming up.  Sal will be traveling for work, we have a few holiday gatherings to attend, kid birthday parties, a trip to Bethlehem to visit Sal’s sis, and my Aunt Tina’s 60th birthday dinner.   I have to thank my Mom, my Aunt Tina and Uncle Pat for helping out so much.  They brought over the majority of the food on Christmas Day and also helped me set-up and clean-up.  My Mom and Aunt Tina have turned into the laundry fairies, too!  My college roommates can attest to how helpful these people, along with my Dad, have been during my entire life.  My roommates, I would bet, have vivid memories of these 4 individuals moving me into my house in Philadelphia.  It wasn’t pretty – the house or the cleaning!!  That house hosted quite a few parties back in the day!!!  Jameson, Chase, and Cam – studying parties.

So, helping to find a cure…..I came across the following article in our local newspaper this past week and wanted to pass it along.  Please take a look at both the article from the Times Leader as well as the Q & A from cancer.org and consider joining this research study if you’re eligible.  They’re looking for people in quite a few different states.  It will take only 45 minutes of your time every 2 years.  This is how discoveries are made – in both diagnosing and treating all different types of cancer.  Let’s get rid of cancer!!

http://www.timesleader.com/stories/Cancer-study-pitched-as-way-to-help,242566

http://www.cancer.org/research/researchprogramsfunding/epidemiology-cancerpreventionstudies/cancerpreventionstudy-3/index

I’ll try to write again before the New Year, but just in case I don’t, have a Happy, Healthy and Blessed New Year!  Thanks for everything – your friendship and prayers mean more to me than you’ll ever know.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!!

Good Evening!  Sal and I received some awesome news this morning.  My PET Scan looks great!  The cancer hasn’t spread and there is tremendous improvement in my left breast, left lymph nodes, and right breast.  Things are looking up!  I still have 3 treatments of Taxol and Herceptin remaining prior to my February 1 surgery and we’re all very hopeful that the cancer will be completely gone before that.  So, the drugs are working!

I wanted to share one of my favorite articles with you.  Eight-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor of New York’s Sun, and the quick response was printed as an unsigned editorial on September 21, 1897. The work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church has since become history’s most reprinted newspaper editorial, appearing in part or whole in dozens of languages in books, movies, other editorials, and on posters and stamps.  It’s funny.  I would bet that Francis Church had no idea what an impact his editorial would have on the world.  I bet he’d be shocked in knowing that his article has been printed thousands of times over the past 115 years.  If the message is one of hope, it seems as though one man’s words can influence a tremendous number of people.  It’s pretty amazing when you think about it.  We all want something bigger to believe in.

So, as the Christmas season is upon us, let us all take the time to be faithful and hopeful and to believe in magic and miracles as we once did as children.  I’ll say it now and a few more times from now – I wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!

YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS

DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

VIRGINIA O’HANLON
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET

 
VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

 
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

 
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

 
You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

 
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

We have HOPE hanging on our tree this Christmas and all Christmases from now on.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

“Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.”  2 Corinthians 4:16 – used by President Barack Obama in addressing the residents of Newtown, Connecticut, after the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School

Yesterday rounded out a week’s worth of doctor’s appointments.  Last Monday, Sal and I visited the University of Pennsylvania to meet with the oncologist and radiation oncologist.  On Tuesday, I had an OB-GYN appointment for a yearly exam.  On Wednesday, I had chemo.  On Thursday, I had an appointment with the dentist.  Because of the chemo which will be followed by radiation, I need to go for dental cleanings every 3 months instead of every 6 to keep my smile pearly white!!  On Friday, I met with an ENT.  My freaking ear!!!!  My right ear has been completely blocked for almost 3 weeks.  It’s so annoying!  I’ll never take my hearing for granted again.  With all of the various chemo poison that’s cranking through my system, who would have thought that an ear infection would knock me on my ass?!!  The ENT looked at my right ear and said, “What a weird looking eardrum.”  Thank you!  Thank you very much!  He then proceeded to look at it under the microscope and put a weird vacuum-suctiony thing in my ear.  That did nothing, so he asked me if I would allow him to do a myringotomy.  Go nuts!  He punctured my ear drum in 2 places to try to drain the fluid that’s stuck back there.  The drainage worked for a day.  The damn ear won’t clear up.  I’ll see if Dr. Saidman can take a look at it tomorrow.  The next step to alleviate the annoyance is to have a tube put in my ear, like kids get, to keep the fluid draining.  Good times!  Lastly, yesterday, I saw the eye doctor for a yearly appointment, had a PET Scan, and took Jameson and Chase to the allergist for their yearly appointment.  Tomorrow, I have my 9th treatment of Taxol and Herceptin.  I feel like I’m 90 years old running from doctor’s appointment to doctor’s appointment!!!!  I’ll get the results of the PET Scan tomorrow, also, so please keep me in your prayers.

I’ve been running into many of you recently as the Christmas season is upon us.  I find some of the things that you say to me to be rather funny.  Many of you are surprised to see me out and about which cracks me up!  I’m not dying……unless someone hasn’t let me in on the secret and I’m living in The Truman Show!  Good Morning….and if I don’t see you, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, and Good Night!  Anyway, here are the answers to some of your questions.  I’m not full of crap.  Everything that I’ve been writing about is how I feel.  Yes, I am this positive.  Being positive is my choice.  I can shrivel up in a ball and hide in my bedroom, but being miserable and scared isn’t going to cure me of cancer.  I’d rather be pleasant while continuing to live my life as normally as I possibly can.  Of course I have moments of weakness and I do cry sometimes, but I find it to be when my guard is down – when I’m tired or fighting off an infection.  Other than that, I’m trying to remain as upbeat and as social as I would normally be around the holidays.  I’m living in the moment and trying to be really tough for my husband and my kids.  Besides that, no one likes a weenie!

So, it could always be worse.  I’ve been saying that since August, but it’s become even more apparent to me since this past Friday.  I would hope that all of you watch the news or take the time to read the headlines every day.  If you do, then I’m certain that you know what happened at Sandy Hook Elementary School – 20 children, ages 6-7, and 6 adults were killed there on Friday morning.  I’m assuming that you’ll agree that whatever you have going on in your life – it could always be worse.  This hit way too close to home for me.  I can’t stop thinking about the parents from Newtown, Connecticut, and what a nightmare they must be living.  I realize that there is a never a good time for tragedy to strike, but to have something so horrific happen right before the holidays is just plain cruel.  It’s sad that it often takes a tragedy such as this to put one’s own life into perspective.

I’ll end with a few pictures from this past weekend.  Friends of ours are kind enough to invite us to their holiday gathering every year where Santa makes a “surprise” visit.  We’re blessed with awesome friends and really good kids!  In the matter of a week, Cameron cut her second tooth, started sitting up on her own, and is now crawling.  How anyone can harm a baby or a toddler is beyond me.

Sal, Jameson (5), Santa, Chase (4), Barb, Cameron (almost 7 months)

Cameron really digs Santa!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Let me start off by letting all of you know that we made it into New York City this past weekend.  We left our house a little bit later than anticipated mostly because Sal and I are dragging!  The trip in was pretty easy until we were sitting in traffic just before the Lincoln Tunnel.  Jameson fell asleep on our way which almost never happens.  Jameson and Chase usually fall asleep in the car on the way home from our destination, but not usually on the way to our destination.  I thought that this was a little odd.  I should preface this with Jameson’s tendency to get car sick on long trips.  She’s usually ok as long as she’s playing with her Leap Pad or watching a DVD.  Another preface – the DVD player in Sal’s car is broken.

Ok, so we’re sitting in traffic heading towards the Lincoln Tunnel.  Jameson had “the look”.  I knew it was coming so I had a tupperware container ready.  As we started driving through the tunnel, she told Sal that he was going too fast.  This is how poor Jameson feels right before she gets sick.  She said that she had a headache, was tired, and then it happened just as we drove out of the tunnel.  Welcome to New York!

All in all, it was a great day.  Jameson perked up as soon as the show started.  She couldn’t take her eyes off of the stage.  Chase loved the show, too, and took a little cat nap (so did Sal!!!).  After the show, Chase told Sal that he was going to ask Santa for a Rockette for Christmas.  God help us!  We’re going to have our hands full with Chase, I think!!  We had a nice dinner at a place called Pasta Lovers that we just happened to run into and then we hit the road.  We made it home by 9pm.  The kids (and parents!) were exhausted!

Here are a few pics of The Sciandras in the city.  Sugar was rockin’ it in The Big Apple!! 

The following video of Chase is one of my all-time favorites!

Click on this to check it out!  Chase Robot

P.S.  I threw the lollipop out!  We don’t eat candy from random street performers!

Cameron had an awesome day with her Grandma and Papa.  She’s cutting her second tooth, is rolling over from front to back and back to front, is trying to sit on her own, and really wants to start creeping.  She’s so pleasant and is just a joy to be around.

On Sunday, we had brunch with Santa at the Fox Hill courtesy of my Aunt Tina and Uncle Pat.  They were kind enough to take the “big kids” after brunch so that I could rest for an hour while Sal got some work done.  My Uncle Pat is working on a train in his basement that is bound to keep the kids occupied for days!

Sal and I traveled to the University of Pennsylvania yesterday to meet with one of my oncologists, Dr. DeMichele, and well as a radiation oncologist, Dr. Freedman.  Dr. DeMichele is extremely happy with the way that my therapy is progressing.  She’s able to see improvement in the skin of my left breast, she can feel as though the tumor has shrunk in one area, and can almost feel as though the tumor is breaking apart in another area.  She believes as though this is due to the Herceptin treatment, in particular.  I was approached by one of Dr. DeMichele’s students who asked me if I would be interested in donating some of the tissue that is taken during my mastectomy for research.  That was a no-brainer.  Absolutely!  I really don’t understand why anyone would say no to this.  Without modern medicine, clinical trials, and various studies that are and have been done, many of us would be dead by now – no penicillin, no cancer medication, no HIV drugs, no studies on cholesterol or diabetes, no vaccines, etc.  I told Sal that I would seriously consider donating my body to science.  The ground doesn’t benefit from any of us being buried down there.  Ok, I’m getting off track!

We met with Dr. Freedman for a few hours.  He and his staff were also very nice and extremely knowledgeable.  At this point, he recommends 5 and 1/2 weeks (28 treatments) of radiation on my left side only, depending on the pathology that will be taken at the time of surgery.  We learned so much from speaking with him.  These physicians really are brilliant.  I’m so thankful that there are people out there who have decided to dedicate their lives to finding a cure for cancer.  Dr. Freedman recommended a facility closer to home with locations in both Scranton and Dunmore.  We need to research the physicians (school, residency, how many breast cancers they’ve treated, etc.) and pick one that we’d like to meet with.  Because radiation treatments are every day, Monday through Friday, it would be too much for me to drive to Penn every day.  Although there are free housing opportunities available if I’d like to stay in Philadelphia, I don’t think that I would do very well being away from Sal and my kids for a week at a time.

So, like I was told in August, this is a long haul.  It’s difficult for me, but I’m learning that all of this is completely out of my hands, out of my control.  Whatever will be, will be, as much as that stinks.  The physicians can do all that they can, but no one really knows the ultimate answer.  All we can really do is pray…..and poison and nuke this cancer with as much modern medicine that is available!  Hey cancer, how does it feel to eat sh*t?!!

My Lessons in Humility:

1.  I can’t believe how non-chalantly numbers and statistics are discussed.  10% to a physician means much less than 10% to a patient.  I, personally, don’t want to play the odds at being one out of ten.  That seems like a lot to me, considering I could be that one person.

2.  I am shocked by the poor attitudes that most people have, especially of those in roles of customer service.  Holy crap!  No one loves to work, but be happy that you have a job.  Each one of us has a choice to make every day.  You can decide to be happy or miserable.  No one likes a Debbie Downer!

3.  I miss being able to take care of my family’s prescription needs.  I’m not currently on a lot of medications, but I’ve had to have a few prescriptions filled.  Unfortunately, Kmart is too out of the way in a pinch, so my friends haven’t been able to fill my prescriptions either.  Out of convenience, we were using a pharmacy next to Sal’s office.  They’re pretty awful!  If I wasn’t a pharmacist and didn’t know better……OMG!  The mistakes were unbelievable and we’ve only gone there for the past 2 months.  It’s scary, really.  Luckily, our friend, Joe Albert, owns his own independent pharmacy, so he’ll be taking care of us until I get back to work.

There is a lesson in all of this for me.  Going through this “exercise” is teaching me to be a kinder, more compassionate person.  When I finally return to work, I will make much more of an effort to go above and beyond my job requirements and to ensure that every patient is treated as a human being.  I think that I did this before, but I’m so much more aware and in tune with how people should be treated because of what I’m going through.  I wrote about the Platinum Rule before – we should all follow this one.  By looking at me, you would never know that I have cancer.  Therefore, it’s safe to assume that everyone out there has their baggage – something pretty tough that they’re faced with everyday – the death of a loved one, illness, unemployment.  A person’s interaction with you can make or break their day, so try to be happy.  I’ll try to do better in every aspect of my life.  I’ll be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, niece, sister-in-law, aunt, cousin, pharmacist, colleague, friend, and neighbor.

“You don’t get to choose how you’re going to die.  Or when.  You can only decide how you’re going to live.  Now.”  – Joan Baez

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”  – Soren Kierkegaard

I hope that all of you had a wonderful day today.  The weather is ridiculous here in NEPA!  It literally goes from 60 degrees to 30 degrees in the matter of a day.  And who doesn’t think that Global Warming is a problem?!!  Oh, wait, the world is supposed to end on 12-12-12, right?!!

So, what’s new?  I’m more than halfway through with Taxol and Herceptin.  It’s a great feeling to be seeing the chemo finish line.  I can make out the final finish line to all of this, too, but it’s a little blurry yet.  I’m so excited to move on to the next thing.  It means that I’m one step closer to putting all of this behind me.  I really love my oncologist, Dr. Saidman, as well as the rest of his staff.  We normally work with his nurse practitioner, Priscilla, and our regular oncology nurse is Lisa.  Sal pretty much harasses the entire office which is so funny.  These people are all very special and are great at what they do.  I’m lucky to be receiving such excellent care so close to home.  Priscilla and Dr. Saidman both checked my ear yesterday.  It still looks pretty bad, but the Azithromycin will be working through my system until next week.  So, we wait and see.  I’m feeling so much better than I was over the weekend.  Yesterday was my first day out of the house since Saturday and it felt great to be out…..even if only for chemo and a doctor’s visit!  Hey, you make the most of what you’ve got!

So, I’m scheduled for more tests.  You don’t even want to see what my calendar looks like for this month.  Between the holidays, the kids’ schedules, and doctor’s appointments……it’s RIDONK!  I have to go for a dye study of my port o cath tomorrow.  My nurses haven’t been able to get a blood return from it for some reason.  It’s driving Lisa crazy which Sal enjoys!  She wants to know what’s up with it, so hopefully, they can figure it out.  Sal and I are heading to Penn on Monday to meet with the oncologist and radiation oncologist there.  I’m anxious to hear what the radiation oncologist has to say.  I’m scheduled for another PET Scan in 2 weeks.  This is a big one, so, hopefully, all will be well with that, too.

The kids are all doing great.  We saw another awesome doctor yesterday – Dr. Penugonda – the kids’ pediatrician.  Cameron had her 6 month visit and she’s doing just great.  She just started cutting her first tooth on the bottom left.  Jameson loses one, Cam gains one!  I love spending the days with Cam.  She laughs at everything that I say and do which makes me happy.  We started our own dance called, “Cameron Style’!  It’s my own spoof of that goofy “Gangnam Style” that’s popular for some reason!  Haaaaayyyyy silly baby – do it Cameron style!  I asked Dr. Penugonda to check Jameson and Chase, too, since our house has been in meltdown mode!  Both of their right ears still look questionable, but she’s hoping that any infection will resolve on it’s own.  So, we wait and see.  She wants to re-check both of them next week.  Neither one of them have any symptoms but we know how quickly these ear infections come on.

So, we’re still on track for NYC on Saturday.  I’ll be sure to post a picture of the 4 of us in front of the tree!  Cameron will be with Sal’s parents for the day, so we’ll have to photoshop her in!  Have an awesome weekend!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

So, I ended up in the ER on Saturday morning!  Why was this bound to happen?  Let’s back up a little bit.

As I wrote about earlier, Chase has had a cough since September.  Thankfully, it’s finally starting to clear up.  The allergist said that he had walking pneumonia although I’m not convinced of that.  I’m pretty sure it was allergies or a persistent virus.  Every child at the kids’ school seems to sound exactly the same – like they smoke 2 packs of Marlboro Reds per day!  On Black Friday, my aunt and uncle had Jameson and Chase out bopping around for the entire day.  When they arrived home with the kids, Jameson was crying and telling us that her ear hurt.  I knew right away that she had an ear infection.  At the same time, Cameron started with a runny nose.  So, Sal and I took both kids to urgent care at 6pm on Friday since our on-call pediatrician’s office wasn’t available to see sick kids.  Great, right?!!  Jameson was diagnosed with a double ear infection and a sinus infection, but Cam, thankfully, was fine.  There are a lot of germs in the Sciandra house right now!  Our house needs to be fumigated with Lysol and bleach!!!  And, I’m sure that the 60 degree weather in December isn’t helping any of this, either!

This past Friday, my right ear became insanely blocked all of a sudden.  About an hour later, it started becoming really painful.  I called my oncologist’s office around 4:30pm and they were kind enough to wait to close up for the weekend so they could see me.  I saw a nurse practitioner who told me that I, too, had an ear infection.  I’m allergic to Amoxicillin, so she gave me Cipro.  I’m pretty sure that she was trying to go as broad spectrum as possible.  Needless to say, 2 doses of Cipro 750mg didn’t do Jack!  I had a fever on Saturday morning, my right ear was draining, and it hurt like hell.  Gross, I know.  I couldn’t get out of bed.  Sal paged the on-call oncologist who told him to take me to the ER.  I haven’t felt this sick in a very long time and I now know why kids cry when their ears hurt.  The doctors were very nice to me in the ER and provided me with 3 warm blankets since I was freezing.  I looked pathetic, I’m sure!  …..no make-up, beanie cap, yoga pants, sneakers…..I was screaming sick, cancer patient!  A culture of the fluid from my right ear was obtained, they did a CBC along with a bunch of other blood work, swabbed me for strep throat, swabbed me for the flu, sent me for a chest x-ray, and did a urinalysis.  One good thing about having cancer is the doctor calling ahead to the ER so you don’t have to wait and the ER docs are always over cautious!  Talk about perks!  I’m a little peeved that I’m not getting as much rest as Kate Middleton…..and I have cancer, but that’s a separate issue!!  Anyway, I received IV fluids, IV Azithromycin, and was sent home with a prescription of Azithromycin for 5 days.  I’m slowly on the mend.  My right ear is still completely blocked but it’s not hurting as much.  I’m still scheduled for round 7 of Taxol and Herceptin tomorrow morning since my counts are good.  I’m so happy that I don’t need to miss a treatment.

I have many other things to report on, too, so bear with me!

Jameson lost her very first tooth on Friday, November 30.  She actually pulled out her bottom front right tooth while she was in school!  That kid is a trooper!  The tooth fairy didn’t visit our house until Sunday night, though, because Jameson wasn’t ready to part with her tooth just yet.  We told her that the tooth fairy wouldn’t come until she’s ready.  She was psyched when the fairy finally came!

I cancelled all plans for this week to make sure that I’m not overdoing it.  I bought tickets to the Radio City Christmas Spectacular in NYC for this coming Saturday a while back and I really don’t want to miss it.  I can’t wait to see the expression on the kids’ faces when they see the tree at Rockefeller Center and experience the show for the first time.  It’s our first time taking them to New York and I’m pretty sure that I’m more excited than they are!

I really try my best to be present at as many things as I possibly can.  When I do miss something, I’m a little disappointed but the feeling passes pretty quickly once I work through the reasons for missing in my head.  I had to miss a viewing and funeral for a very special person on Sunday and Monday and it’s not sitting well with me.  One of my late Dad’s best friends, Francis “Yogi” Michael, died unexpectedly on Friday.  He was such a great guy and will be truly missed by all who knew him.  I was told that 5000 people attended his viewing.  What a testament to a life well lived.  Mr. Michael actually dressed up as Santa Claus for my sister and I when we were kids.  I’m certain I wasn’t the only child in the Wyoming Valley to believe that the real Santa was a short, dark skinned man who wore football official sneakers!  The only thing making me feel better about missing Mr. Michael’s services is the fact that I literally ran right into him 3 weeks ago at the YMCA after Jameson and Chase’s swim class.  I had the pleasure of speaking with him for quite a while.  We were able to catch up on everything.  I’ll keep that very fond memory of Santa Claus with me for the rest of my life.

I also had to miss Sciandra Family Christmas this past Saturday.  Sal’s Mom usually hosts Christmas Eve dinner, but this year, she changed the date to December 1.  Sal’s sister, Audra, and her husband, Mark, are expecting their second child at the beginning of January, so travel for them towards the end of December isn’t a smart thing.  I’m really bummed that I didn’t get to see everyone, but I know that there will be plenty more Christmases to spend together.  Jameson and Chase still made the party and had an awesome time!

Congrats to our friends, Kevin and Cori, on their engagement.  The pic below is from their Thanksgiving 5K, hence the turkeys!  Kevin and Cori might be our reason for finally getting back to the Midwest one of these days!

I shaved my legs for the first time since August today!  Not because I’m disgusting, but because I had no hair to shave!  There wasn’t much there today, but I’m noticing it starting to grow again.  Dr. Saidman told me to expect slow re-growth during the Taxol and Herceptin treatment.  I’m also starting to sprout new hair on my head although it’s weak.  I can pull it out if I tug on it gently.  Now, I look like that creepy mean doll from Toy Story 3.  See below!

I have a feeling that there will be many more cancellation of plans in the weeks and months ahead and I hope that all of you are understanding as this begins to happen.  I’m not making any solid commitments for me or my family for the next short while.  I am trying to make things for the kids as normal as I possibly can.  I’m realizing, though, that staying strong and healthy is more important than rushing them to swim class then to a play date then to church then to dinner and then to the movies.  This is tough to manage on a good day.

I came to the realization this weekend that I can no longer do as much as I thought that I could by myself.  We need more daily help.  Sal has been in this camp from the very beginning, but I didn’t want to start feeling inadequate as a mother.  I’m already out of work, out of routine, and not doing as much as I normally do.  Taking care of my kids has been the one thing that I was holding on to – it was my saving grace.  But, I need an extra set of hands, especially between 3 and 5:30pm.  Taking care of 3 kids is a job for anyone.  I realize this.  I knew that having 3 kids ages 5 and under wasn’t going to be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.  I, however, wasn’t planning on having cancer!  So, the quest for a “nanny” or “mother’s helper” has started.  We’re hoping to have this person in the house after the holidays.  I’m good as long as my kids don’t start referring to this person as “Mumsy”!  Hopefully, things will work out since I will need much more help around the house and with the kids after my surgery on February 1.  I won’t be able to lift anything, including Cameron, for 6-8 weeks so things should be interesting!

I never realized how much I love YouTube.  This ridiculous video, like the Honey Badger, has received way too many views!  This one, in particular, is the original interview and the auto tune remix.  It’s received close to 6 million views.  The original interview has received close to 11 million views.  What’s wrong with us?!!  I actually watched a bunch of interviews with Sweet Brown and she’s hilarious.  She’s a good sport.  Anyway, this video was passed on to me from a fellow warped and twisted individual!  And, I’m with Sweet Brown.  I have an ear infection……ain’t nobody got time for that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh7UgAprdpM

I received the following quote from my friend, Lindsay.  The quote, although it’s true, is a Type A’s worst nightmare!

“You must give up the life you had planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.”  – Joseph Campbell

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!