So, what do Barbara Sciandra and The Fighting Irish of Notre Dame going for the 2012 National Championship title have in common?  Let me explain.

First of all, It’s been a while since I’ve written and I apologize.  I hope that each one of you had a great Thanksgiving and took the time to be thankful for all that you have – most importantly, your health, your family, and your friends.  I have to thank Lindsay Pietropola, one of my best friends, for creating and maintaining the “Take Them a Meal” website for us.  She’s added dates to take us through my surgery and radiation treatment.  You have no idea how helpful this has been for us, as a family.  We appreciate this kind of help so much more than any of you know.  So, Linds, as always, I gave thanks for your friendship this Thanksgiving.  Happy Birthday, too!!  You’re such a special person.

Well, up until this year, I could take Thanksgiving or leave it.  Christmas was always my favorite holiday.  This Thanksgiving, though, I took the time to truly appreciate the meaning behind the day.  I had a very introspective weekend.  I’ve never really taken the time to spend it in thought as much as I should.  Most of us probably don’t.  Personally, I’ve been trying to avoid “deep thoughts” because sometimes what I think about, especially now, terrifies me.

So, here’s the correlation between The Fighting Irish and me:

The last time that ND won a National Football Championship was in 1988.  How do I know this, you ask?  Because it was in the newspaper?  No!  Because it’s been all over ESPN?  No!  Because everyone has been talking about it?  No!  It’s because of memories….and an old sweatshirt that my Mom wears when she’s cooking or cleaning around her house.  My stylish Mom would kill me for saying that this sweatshirt is, I believe, is from 1988!  Don’t worry, though.  It’s not as bad as her, “With Love, Neil Diamond,” t-shirt, or “Whatever it is….I didn’t do it”, t-shirt!  Anyway, this sweatshirt stating, “ND 1988 National Champions,” got me thinking.  In 1988, I was 10 years old.  I don’t have too many memories from 1988.  In 1983, I was 5 years old and was in kindergarten.  I have one memory from kindergarten and it involves the Michael Jackson, Thriller, album, and we won’t even go there!  Right now, in 2012, Jameson is 5, Chase is 4, and Cameron is 6 months old.  Thinking about my Mom’s sweatshirt from 1988 brought me to a harsh reality.  If something happens to me now or in 5 years from now, my kids won’t remember me at all.  It saddens me so much to think about my kids not being able to remember how much I love them.  They would have to rely on trusting stories about me from other people.  Cameron would never know, first hand from me, that she saved my life.  I can’t tell you how much I value every second that I have to spend with Sal and my kids.  Eventually, stories, pictures, silly sweatshirts, and memories are all that we have left of each other.  And, sadly, over time, even memories begin to fade.  Try to hang on to them as much as you can.

I know that I’m usually very upbeat, but thinking about this over the Thanksgiving holiday actually made me feel very depressed.  My kids don’t deserve this and my husband certainly didn’t sign up for this.  I was Christmas shopping by myself last night and couldn’t help but pick up one of those recordable Hallmark books.  It’s the story of the First Christmas.  I’m planning on leaving a recorded message on there for my kids.  Hopefully, one day, as the 3 kids are much, much older, we can sit and laugh about my corny recording and why I left it for them.  God willing, none of my fears will become a reality and cancer will be gone faster than it arrived.  I’m really not asking God’s mercy for much.  At least I don’t think that I am.  I just want a little more time – time to, at the least, see my kids through high school and travel a little more with Sal.  Please keep us in your prayers.

But, back to The Fighting Irish and me.  It’s definitely not a coincidence that Notre Dame is playing for the National Championship title 2 days before my last chemotherapy treatment and for the first time in 24 years.  Go, Fight, Win……

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Punjabi, actually.  It was 1996.

You’re reading this thinking, “What the hell?”, right?!!  Let me explain.

I graduated from high school in June of 1996 and couldn’t wait to receive my roommate assignment from the Philadelphia College of Pharmacy and Science.  I can still remember receiving it…….Jeegisha Patel……and, in my ignorance, I can also remember not knowing how to pronounce her first name.  I couldn’t tell what nationality she was, not that it should matter.  But, again, I was a very sheltered 18 year old growing up in Northeastern Pennsylvania.  The extent of my knowledge of nationality went something like this…..”Mc” is Irish, “ski” is Polish, and if the last name ends in a vowel, they’re Italian!  Really.  I’d never seen the last name, Patel, before, so I had no idea that my roommate was Indian.  My knowledge of the Indian culture started and ended with my pediatrician, Dr. Dwarkai Bai Penugonda!

Anyway, my freshman year roommate was Jeegisha “Rinku” Patel.  Rinku later confessed that when she received my name…..Barbara Fisher…..that I sounded like the whitest white girl on the planet!  We became very good friends and embraced each other’s culture.  I embraced the Indian culture so much so that I was gifted with a pair of “Indian jeans” that Christmas!  I was the trendiest white freshman on campus!!  Rinku’s very sweet mother brought jewelery back for me from India and I started to enjoy eating samosas.  I was also fortunate enough to learn some of the language.  See below.

Think about what it sounds like when you hear a toddler say, “shit”.  It’s wrong.  It’s crude.  But, as long it’s not your child, you can’t help but laugh.  This is what it was like when we’d greet one another on campus.  We were very politically incorrect but we truly got a kick out of each other.  There were always a lot of laughs.  I wouldn’t necessarily say that attending PCPS was the best experience of my life, but I received a wonderful education, met a lot of really good people, and made great friends – friends that obviously last a lifetime.  I can’t tell you how much it means to me to be hearing from old friends.  I appreciate, so much, all of you taking the time out of your own busy lives – time away from your own, beautiful families – to think of me and my family.  This t-shirt CRACKED ME UP!!!

Oh, Hoochie Pak – Anita, Neha, Jessy, Swati, Rinku, and Palak – one last thing.  You’ll be happy to know that Dr. Penugonda is still a practicing pediatrician!  She now takes care of my kids!  Since knowing all of you, I’ve always wondered if, somewhere in her house, she has one of those mixes that you guys used to listen to.  You know what I mean.  These days, it would probably be Flo Rida with some random guy singing Punjabi throughout the song!  I know it’s a little late, but Happy Diwali!  Love you all!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

So, we had a great weekend!  On Friday night, my boss, Ann Marie, paid me a nice visit.  On Saturday, we took the kids to swim class and Sal made a make-shift burn pit later that afternoon.  Cameron was sleeping during this time, but check out this pic of my “big kids” and Sal:

On Saturday evening, we attended Mass then Sal and I had dinner at our house with my sister – which was awesome.  We’re so fortunate to be able to spend time with her. On Sunday afternoon, we had the chance to see our friends, Jim and Erin, at their son’s birthday party.  Erin is a ridiculously good cook, by the way!  If pharmacy doesn’t work out for her, she can open her own restaurant.  Really.  Thanks for making me pack on the pounds, Erin!  We love your food!  On Sunday evening, I was so happy to catch up with some old friends, Colleen and Katie.  I’m looking forward to a visit from some of my college friends, Lindsay, Kate, Erin, and Maria tomorrow afternoon.  I’ll post pictures of everyone posing with Sugar while doing the air guitar after the visit!

Treatment is going really well.  I received Taxol and Herceptin today and feel really good.  I’m tired, but not as bad as I was with the AC.  I have 8 more of these treatments to go.  I’m able to see a noticeable difference, too.  It’s weird.  You know how it is when people see your kids and say how big they’re getting?  You don’t really notice because you’re with them everyday.  It’s the same situation with me.  Up until this point, I haven’t really been able to see the change in myself, so I’m happy when the doctors tell me that they can feel and see a change.

I have to comment on my dinner with Colleen and Katie.  It was the first time since my diagnosis that anyone has treated me completely normal for an entire night.  Most people seem to walk on eggshells around me and it’s not necessary.  I’m still Barb!  You don’t need to be hesitant to ask me to do things or to have a normal conversation with me.  If you know me, you know what a buster I am.  You don’t know how funny I would think it was if someone yelled, “Hey, Baldy!” across a room or parking lot.  Also, please don’t refer to me as “sick”.  Thanks to make-up and Sugar, I look healthy.  I believe in mind over matter, therefore, I don’t allow myself to feel unhealthy.  I’m trying to act like a completely normal mother of three.  I’m not “sick” and I’ll never accept hearing that about myself.

Anyway, back to my dinner…..Colleen and Katie made fun of me all night……in the best way.  I felt so good after having dinner with them.  If you remember my earlier posts, I’m indebted to Katie for saving my life.  I think about what would have happened to me if Katie didn’t do my last ultrasound.  I wish, so often, that Colleen lived closer so we had the opportunity to get together more.  I’ll just have to read about it in the newspaper.  😉

So, Nicole, another friend of mine, read an article about Moms with Cancer – they’re too busy to have cancer!  Really, I’m too busy to have cancer.  I will never, ever let this tie me down or make me feel like there’s something that I can’t do.  My kids, God willing, will never know that anything was ever different between August 2012 and August 2013.  Well, they might remember my lack of hair, but that’s it!  Some women, take Brittany Spears, for example, do it for fun!  My kids might think that I’ve lost my mind – like Brittany did!  But, the only thing that they’ll remember about breast cancer are the words – breast cancer.

I’m working very hard right now to keep my mind and body healthy.  I see things with such clarity.  I really want to try to be a better person.  I know how I’d like to be treated which, in turn, is helping me to treat others better.  I hope, at least.  I pray that this continues once I’m healed.  I don’t want to be one of those people who only gives thanks and prays during times of trouble.  I have a mental list of people and organizations that have helped me out so much already that I can’t wait to be given the opportunity to do something special for everyone once cancer is a blur in my rear view mirror.  Thanks to each one of you for everything.  You have no idea how much the little things help.  I can only hope that I’ve been half as good of a friend to each one of you as you’ve been to me.  I was told once that you have to be a good friend in order to have good friends.  Please know what wonderful people all of you are.  You’re all the best friends.

Today was picture day at Holy Rosary.  I love my kids so much!  Oh, Cameron is not in the car seat!!!  Sadly, we use the area that is supposed to be for firewood as a storage spot for our car seat and diaper bag!!  Thanks for pointing that out, Anil!!!  I miss you!  Haaaayyyyyy!!!  Oh, yes I did!

And, lastly, we’re in the middle of Season 7 of How I Met Your Mother.  I have slight (CRAZY!!!!) OCD when it comes to starting and finishing things.  I love this show so much that I needed to catch up to the current season which is season 8.  I’ll leave you with a quote from Ted Mosby from the Garbage Island episode.  “Kids, sometimes wonderful things come out of horrible situations.”

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I’m listening to Radiohead as I write this post.

So, my mind is healthy.  Well, depending on who you talk to.  My friends might refer to me as a “sick ticket”, a person with “issues”, someone who’s “not right in the head”, etc. etc.  I’m thankful everyday that our world was not yet digital during my high school and college years!  A picture trail of my life doesn’t exist somewhere in cyberspace!  Jameson, Chase, and Cameron, if you’re reading this, Mommy was a perfect angel and spent all of her waking moments studying so, so hard.  That’s what the pictures would be – Mommy reading in the library, Mommy drinking coffee to stay up late to study, and Mommy in her PJ’s at 8pm – so I could get a good night’s rest to be up for class bright and early!  All kidding aside, my mind is strong.  Like I’ve said before, I do have moments of anger, panic, and depression but they’re fleeting thoughts.  As quickly as the thoughts come, they go even faster.  I’ve accepted breast cancer for what it is…..a temporary condition that’s changed my life forever……but, for the better.  You might be reading this thinking that I was dealt a crappy hand.  I look at it like I’ve gotten a second a chance at living my life better than I did before and I’m only 34 years old.  I’m pretty damn lucky.  Most people never have the opportunity to know how truly good, kind, and caring their family and friends are.  All of the niceties happen after a person dies.  I’m fortunate enough to experience the good in people right now.  And, again, I’m only 34 years old.  I’m truly blessed.

So, healthy mind – check.  Healthy body?  I started back at the gym yesterday to work on a healthier body.  Dr. Saidman cleared me to do cardio and weights.  The weights are very important, especially now.  All of the lymph nodes on my left side will be removed at the time of surgery.  I stand the risk of developing lymphedema since there will be no lymph nodes present to collect fluid and all of the junk that lymph nodes collect.  The slimmer and stronger I am, the smaller my chances of developing this condition.  It can develop in anyone at anytime, but I’d rather do all that I can to try to prevent one more issue.

I apologize for the length of this post.  I have a bunch of updates for you:

• Poor Uncle Bry was unable to compete in the NYC Marathon on Sunday.  I can understand why it was cancelled, obviously, but what a nightmare.  I feel terrible for all of the people that trained for this marathon and for those who traveled great distances to be in NYC.  The marathon should have been cancelled as soon as Hurricane Sandy hit instead of waiting until Friday afternoon.  What do I know, though?  Anyway, we received the most awesome t-shirts from Dave and Erin Mack a day or two ago.  Thanks so much for thinking of us, guys, and thanks, Bryan, for sporting my name across your back.  I was shocked to see BarbStrong in print.  How very cool and awesome!!  Although, I do recall an e-mail stating that you’d be sporting the SK Tech Group logo somewhere else on your body!  😉

•  My sister, Ann, is visiting from California until November 19.  God Bless this girl.  She’s rearranged her work schedule so much to ensure that she’s able to be home for at least 2 weeks at a time.  I know that it’s very costly for her to be flying home so much and her work schedule must be exhausting, but she’s doing it and doesn’t complain at all.  She’s the best.  I love her, Sal loves her, and my kids adore her!  While we’re talking about rearranging schedules, I have to thank my Mom, my Aunt Tina and Uncle Pat, and my in-laws – Sam and Hilda.  Words cannot express the love and appreciation that Sal and I have for these people.  Anytime we call, these people literally drop what they’re doing and come right over.  Things haven’t been easy, by any means, but these family members, in particular, have made our kids’ lives as normal as possible between school pick-ups, homework, dinner time, and bath time.  When they say that it takes a village, it takes a village!

• My kids are doing well.  Knock on wood, Cameron has been sleeping from 7-8pm until 6-7am.  Cam’s sleeping through the night has been magical!!  I’m sure that any parent who’s out there reading this realizes what a different person you become due to lack of sleep!  Think of Tina Fey in the Annuale skit.  Google it!  Sal and I attended parent-teacher conferences yesterday afternoon for Jameson and Chase and both kids received great reports.  We’re very proud of them.  The kids have awesome teachers and it was nice to sit down with them for a few minutes.  I’m so happy at a comment that Jameson’s kindergarten teacher passed along.  She said that if she didn’t know what Sal and I were going through, she wouldn’t know by Jameson’s behavior.  James hasn’t skipped a bit.  Her teacher told us that she’s a completely normal 5 year old who loves to learn and socialize.  Normalcy for my kids was one of my greatest fears in being diagnosed with cancer, so this is a huge relief.  I really think that it’s important to be honest with your kids.  Once you lose their trust, I would imagine that it becomes very difficult to win it back.  Chase, the poor little guy, has had a cough for literally 2 months.  I’ve taken him to the doctor about 5 times like a neurotic Mom!  His physical exam is clear, he has no fever, no wheeze, no problems besides a cough.  He’s been on an antibiotic twice in the past month and nothing seemed to be working for him.  I took him for bloodwork and a chest x-ray and his bloodwork came back positive for walking pneumonia.  He’s on a steroid for 5 days and an antibiotic for 3 weeks.  Our house is bananas!

• I had round #3 of Taxol and Herceptin on Wednesday.  Things are going very, very well.  We met with Dr. Saidman who is very pleased with the way that everything looks.  He sees a noticeable difference in my most prominent lymph node on the left side and my breast has gotten significantly smaller.  He expects to see big changes as this treatment progresses.  9 more to go!  We’re praying that all of my cancer will be gone at the time of surgery.  I also received more good news yesterday.  My BART test came back negative which means that I don’t carry the breast cancer gene.  This is fantastic news for my children, my sister, and my Mom.  Their chances of developing breast cancer are that of the normal population.  For me, it’s just a weird, fluke thing.  I would much rather have this condition than anyone else in my family, so we’re all good.

• I wanted to post a few notes about medications that I’m currently using.  I apologize for going into detail here, but I’m using this blog as a personal journal that I can look back on and also something for other cancer patients to read so they can anticipate what to expect from certain treatments.  Many of you have written to me saying that you’ve passed my blog address on to the newly diagnosed.  I hope that you find some of this information helpful.  Anyway, I’m currently using Anusol suppositories for findings from my sigmoidoscopy.  Dr. Saidman was certain that I didn’t have colon cancer because of my PET Scan, but the blood in my stool was starting to become worrisome.  The suppositories are working very well and everything is going back to normal.  I’m very sensitive to steroids.  With my last treatment of AC, I was being pre-treated with Decadron and then I had to take it for 3 days post treatment.  The insomnia caused from the steroids was pretty terrible.  With Taxol and Herceptin, I’m pre-treated with Decadron, but don’t need to take it following treatment like I did before.  But, that first day is still a killer as far as insomnia goes.  Xanax at bedtime works very well in treating this.  Steroids cause a bunch of other problems, too.  They work well, but it stinks to be on them.  I’ll be using daily Diflucan until my chemo is over.

• Lastly, I have a love-hate relationship with Sugar.  I didn’t think that I would be one to sport a wig, but I really am so happy that I have her.  Sadly, I’ve gotten more compliments on Sugar than I have on my real hair!  A number of people have told me that they like my highlights!  I’ve been out of the house with a bini cap on a handful of times.  I get the “poor sick girl” look which I hate.  Sal and I also started referring to people giving me the 4 fingers of pity!  You know – they touch you with 4 fingers and tell you to hang in there!  Being bald isn’t an invitation to chit chat just as being pregnant isn’t an invitation to rub a woman’s stomach!  I know that both groups of people have the best intentions, but…..well, let’s just leave it at that!  Going through this has made me realize so many things, especially how to treat people.  During Leadership Wilkes-Barre, we learned about the Platinum Rule – to treat others the way that they want to be treated.  This rule couldn’t be more true and I’m really just realizing it now.  Having cancer will help me, both personally and professionally, to be more patient with people.  Everyone out there is going through something and you just never know what it is.  You’d probably be surprised, so just try to practice kindness.

Thanks to all of you for reading.  E-mailers, please bear with me.  I promise to respond to each one of you.  Thank you for thinking of me.  I appreciate your thoughts and prayers so much.  Your love and support helps keep me strong.  Have a great weekend, everyone!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

“Families are messy.  Immortal families are eternally messy.  Sometimes the best we can do is to remind each other that we’re related for better or for worse…and try to keep the maiming and killing to a minimum.”  – Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

As the holidays are quickly approaching I wanted to remind everyone that the greatest gift that we can give to one another is our time.  Time is so precious; spend is wisely.  It took me a little while to figure this out, but the holidays really shouldn’t be about materialistic gifts.  Our lives are a gift and choosing to spend what time we have with others should be gift enough.  Practice being selfless, not selfish.  Don’t do things out of habit or obligation but rather do things out of love and kindness.

My father-in-law always says that unless you’re ready to write someone off forever, you should practice forgiveness sooner than later.  Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away.  Try to start this holiday season off on the right track.  Practice patience and forgiveness now and be thankful for your family, your friends, and your health.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I hope that this post finds all of you doing well.  Hopefully, everyone reading this is safe after Hurricane Sandy.  We were fortunate here, in Laflin, in that we only lost power for 24 hours and sustained no real damage.  Poor NYC and NJ – the pictures are just devastating.  But, we’re a resilient country.  We’ll bounce back bigger and better than ever.

A few quick updates:  thanks to our awesome IT guy, Nick Grochal, you should now be able to receive e-mail updates from this website.  Many of you have e-mailed me saying that you had a problem signing up.  Nick corrected the issue.  Good luck to Uncle Bry who will be running in the NYC Marathon this weekend.  Please, don’t end up like Barney, Bryan!  My Taxol and Herceptin treatments are going quite well.  2 down, 10 more to go!  Cameron, knock on wood, has slept from 7pm until 7am the past 4 nights.  I’m slowly starting to remember what it feels like to get a good night’s rest!  Well, I probably just jinxed that!!

I said that I would write about our visit to Penn from a few weeks ago, so here’s what’s up:

I’ve never gotten poked, prodded, or undressed in front of so many strangers!  Getting your picture taken topless in front of a roomful of strangers is a lot of fun, let me tell you!  Penn is a teaching hospital, so you’re constantly surrounded by doctors, residents, interns, nurses, etc.  I asked the nurse practitioner if I was going to end up in a text book with a black line over my eyes.  She didn’t laugh.  Health care providers can be pretty stiff.  I’m saying that because I am one…..a health care provider, not a stiff!  Lighten up, people!

Anyway, our visit to Penn was great…..besides the photos!  We met with one of our oncologists, a breast surgeon, and a plastic surgeon.  Sal and I decided that it would be best to have the surgery done at Penn because I can have immediate reconstruction done at the time of the mastectomy.  It will be a longer surgery – about 8 hours – but everything, besides minor changes, will be completed at this time.  The standard of care at the larger institutions has changed as far immediate versus delayed reconstruction.  I’ll only have to undergo general anesthesia once, if everything goes as planned.  It’s really quite amazing what can be done.  I’ve spent quite a bit of time researching different methods, different institutions, and different physicians.  The plastic surgeon at Penn is one of the best in the country which is why we’re opting for Penn.  He’ll be doing a TRAM flap (Transverse Rectus Abdominis Myocutaneous) procedure.  Basically, he’ll be using muscle, fat, skin, and blood vessels from my abdominal area to reconstruct both of my breasts.  I’m making out on the deal, though.  I was born with an umbilical hernia (I had an outie every time I was pregnant!) and this will be corrected during the procedure.  I’ll also be getting a “tummy tuck”!  Hey, I’ve carried 3 kids and had 3 c-sections.  I’m sure if you ask any woman who’s had a child if she’d like a tummy tuck, she would scream yes from the rooftops!  I’d hate to see what that Duggar lady looks like.  Ok, now I’m getting off track.  The plastic surgeon, with this type of procedure, has a less that 0.1% failure rate.  That’s pretty damn good if you ask me.  We’ll be meeting with a radiation oncologist at Penn next month to be sure that he concurs with our decision.  Radiation and immediate reconstruction seems to be an issue with expanders and implants, not with your own tissue.  However, we’ll see what the radiation oncologist says and will make our final decision based on what he recommends.

As of right now, my surgery is scheduled for February 1.  I’ll be in the hospital for 4 days with a recovery time of 6-8 weeks.  Depending on the pathology, surgery may need to be followed up with more chemo.  This will depend on if all of the cancer is gone when they go in to do the mastectomy.  I will most likely need 4-6 weeks of daily radiation.  The radiation oncologist from Penn will be recommending a local physician for me to meet with.  I can’t live away from my kids 5 days a week and I feel as though driving back and forth to Philly 5 days a week will just be exhausting.  As part of my treatment plan, I will also be getting Herceptin infused every 3 weeks for a year (until October 2013) as well as Tamoxifen (a pill) for 5 years.  All of the “major stuff” will, hopefully, be finished up before Cameron’s first birthday which is May 29, 2013.  Time is flying.

“Cancer survivors are blessed with two lives.  There is your life before cancer, and your life after.  I am here to tell you your second life is going to be so much better than the first.”   – Hoda Kotb

Have a great weekend!!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Sal and I try our best to attend Mass every weekend, usually on Saturday evenings.  A few months ago, our priest, Monsignor Neil Van Loon, stopped me on my way out to tell me that he thought that his homily that particular weekend related to me.  I laughed, uncomfortably, not knowing if I should I tell him.  Then, I thought, though, what the heck.  He’s an understanding guy.  “Monsignor,” I said, “I haven’t heard a homily in five and a half years!”  He, of course, laughed, knowing that our oldest child is five and a half years old.  Our beautiful, modern church has a “sound proof cry room” in the back right corner and that’s where Sal and I have been sitting since Jameson was born in March of 2007.  Every time we thought that we’d graduated to the “big church”, we had another child!

Anyway, last night in the cry room, Jameson sat next to me like a perfect lady, Cam sat peacefully on my lap, and Chase sat calmly on Sal’s lap for the entire Mass.  Nicole A., if you’re reading this, I know that you can’t believe it!  Well, Monsignor would be happy to know that I heard his homily – every single word.  He spoke about needing help, asking others for help, and asking God for help.  He ended with the following:

The Blessing of Unanswered Prayers

I asked for strength that I might achieve;

I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.

I asked for health that I might do greater things;

I was given infirmity that I might do better things.

I asked for riches that I might be happy;

I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;

I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;

I was given life that I might enjoy all things.

I got nothing that I had asked for,

but everything that I had hoped for.

Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;

I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

I’m not sure if Monsignor Van Loon’s homily applied to me a few months ago, but last night’s certainly did.  My kids must have kept quiet for a reason.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

First things first.  I’m Fighting!  I started my new treatment regimen of Taxol today.  I begin Herceptin tomorrow and then will have infusions of the two together beginning next Wednesday and continuing until January 9.  The oncologists believe that I will see the most dramatic shrinkage and tumor cell nukage, as Sal and I call it, from these 2 drugs!  I feel much, much better after receiving Taxol than I did when I was taking Adriamycin and Cytoxan.  I’m hopeful that I’ll just need a nap on the day of treatment (because they juice me up with Benadryl!) and then I’ll be good to go.  I’m realizing that I do need more rest and more help than I had anticipated.  I am tired but I’m just not used to sitting still.  I’m stubborn, too, and hate inconveniencing anyone or asking for help.  Also, I’m going a bit nuts because if I don’t have at least 5 activities and/or projects going on at once, I simply go crazy!  I’m not a lazy person……I hate feeling like one.

So, down to business.  I’m dedicating an entire post to the writers and cast of How I Met Your Mother…..even though they’re not reading this!  My computer savvy husband streams our Netflix account through our Wii so we started watching the show from the very beginning.  We’ve made it to season 5 already.  It’s ridonk!  I watch at least one episode every night before we go to bed so I can end every day with a laugh.  That’s important to me.  I don’t like to end my day feeling sad or depressed or thinking about cancer.  I literally laugh out loud at some of the things that happen on the show.  I think that I like the show so much because I can totally relate to everything that they discuss.  Ted, Marshall, and Lily graduated from high school in 1996 and started college that same year.  Guess what?  So did I!  Many of the jokes relating to songs, clothing, etc. are from this time period.  How I Met Your Mother is like The Wonder Years for young people!!  Wait…..I’m not really considered young anymore, am I?

Check out this card from my friend, Betsy!  It’s LEGEN……wait for it……DAIRY!!!

A few years ago, I remember watching the Ellen DeGeneres show.  She was interviewing a young husband who had written to her to say thanks.  His young wife was battling cancer and he wanted to thank Ellen for making his wife laugh every day.  It’s funny how some things stick with you.  I can remember feeling so sorry for the young woman.  I also remember thinking how sad it was that she looked forward to watching a television show to get her through the day.  Ironic, right?

Anyway, I would highly encourage you to start watching the show if you don’t already.  My favorite episode, so far, is when Barney takes Marshall’s place in the NYC Marathon.  Barney completed the Marathon without any training and ends up riding the subway home after the race.  A funny thing happens; Barney’s legs cramp so badly that he can’t get off the train.  Uncle Bry, I hope that this doesn’t happen to you.  If it does, though, Murph, can you please take a video and send it to us??!!!  A big shout out to Bryan Lackaye who will be running the NYC Marathon for the Children’s Hospital of Boston this weekend!!!

Back to HIMYM…….it’s so, so funny!  Barney is played by Neil Patrick Harris….the former Doogie Howser, M.D.  Don’t worry, he makes fun of this at one point on the show, too!  Barney is so sarcastic and so funny.  The part of his character is so well written.  Neil Patrick Harris is so incredibly talented.  I want to invite Barney Stinson to Thanksgiving dinner so he can make fun of me!  The rest of the cast is awesome, too.  They mesh so well together.  It really is a wonderful show.  Are you sold on it yet?!!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Today, I’m Fighting!  I’m fighting off a cold and feel like I haven’t gotten a good night’s rest in 5 months.  Actually, Sal and I haven’t gotten a good night’s rest in 5 months!  It’s called having a newborn!  I’m not sure if I’m exhausted from chemo, 2 toddlers, a newborn, lack of sleep, or a culmination of all of the above!  Hey, at least I’m alive.  Trust me, I’m not complaining.  I’m just fighting.  I start my new treatment regimen of Taxol tomorrow and Herceptin on Thursday.  I have to have these drugs infused on 2 separate days for the first treatment in case I have a reaction.  This way, if a reaction occurs, they’ll know which drug to attribute the reaction to.  I have a sigmoidoscopy scheduled for Friday to hopefully correct an issue that I’ve been having for the past few months.  12 more weeks of chemo and we’re finished with this part of the journey.  AWESOME!

I’m not sure who or how many of you out there suggested my name to the Miles for Michael Organization, but I am both thankful and humbled.  I received such a nice letter from the organization that I started to cry.  I have to be honest with you, though, most of your cards and letters have brought me to tears.  I really feel as though I have the best group of family and friends that one can possibly have.  The kindness, thoughtfulness, and generosity of others never ceases to amaze me.  I am so very lucky to be surrounded by your love and strength.

Here is some information about Michael Joyce and the Miles for Michael Organization.  If you’re looking for a way to give back to your local community, donating to this wonderful organization is a great way to do so.

The Miles for Michael non-profit organization is a way for family and friends of Michael Joyce to remember this extraordinary man in an extraordinary way.

A resident of Duryea, Michael passed away Wednesday, June 28, 2006 at Geisinger Wyoming Valley Medical Center, Plains Township.  He was 43.  Michael was president of Joyce Financial Group, and was well-known across the region for his loving ways.  The thousand-plus friends who attended his memorial service are a testament that his life was spent helping others and that there was never one person who came to him for assistance that he turned away.

It was that selflessness that led to the formation of the Miles for Michael Event held on Saturday, June 17, 2006. Throughout his 14-month battle with head and neck cancer, Michael never asked anything for himself, but asked his friends to provide support to other families who might not be as capable of handling the financial burdens of long-distance treatments.  Although the original goal of the Miles for Michael Event was $10,000, more than $100,000 was raised.  A large portion was given to the American Cancer Society – Wyoming Valley Unit for cancer research, and $50,000 went toward establishing a permanent fund within The Luzerne Foundation.

Addressing the needs of cancer patients and their families, this Fund will provide support for unexpected expenses such as travel, lodging, food, gas, and tolls that will help families to remain with loved ones during treatment and recovery.

Thanks to each and every one of you for your thoughts and prayers.  Thank you, Miles for Michael, for your kindness and generosity.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

“Some days there won’t be a song in your heart.  Sing anyway.”  – Emory Austin

I’m LIVING!  From previous posts, you can probably tell that I’m really into music.  Here’s what’s on my iPhone right now.  Check it out!  I listen to everything, so it’s a pretty random assortment.  Maybe you’ll be inspired!

The Remedy – Jason Mraz

Tripping Billies – Dave Matthews Band

Every Teardrop is a Waterfall – Coldplay

Let It Be – The Beatles

My Next 30 Years – Tim McGraw

Forever Young – Bob Dylan

Yahweh – U2

The Riddle – Five for Fighting

Wasted on the Way – Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young

Dog Days are Over – Florence and the Machine

Float On – Modest Mouse

Halo/Walking on Sunshine – Glee Cast

Right Now – Van Halen

Little Wonders – Rob Thomas

Standing Outside the Fire – Garth Brooks

Home – Phillip Phillips

Right Here, Right Now – Jesus Jones

I Run For Life – Melissa Etheridge

Watching the Wheels – John Lennon

Live Like You Were Dying – Tim McGraw

Fields of Gold – Sting

Lose Yourself – Eminem

Life in Technicolor ii – Coldplay

Tubthumping – Chumbawumba

Ants Marching – Dave Matthews Band

Fix You – Coldplay

Walls – Tom Petty

59^th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy) – Simon and Garfunkel

Three Little Birds – Bob Marley

Crazy – Seal

My City of Ruins – Bruce Springsteen

The River – Garth Brooks

Miracle Drug – U2

Man in the Mirror – Michael Jackson

Living in the Moment – Jason Mraz

Good Life – One Republic

Under Pressure – Queen

Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin

No Woman, No Cry – Fugees

Unanswered Prayers – Garth Brooks

What a Wonderful World – Louis Armstrong

Rocky (Main Theme) – Starlight Orchestra

The Notre Dame Fight Song – The Notre Dame Marching Band

As purchases of the above songs increase on iTunes, proceeds will benefit the “Barbara Sciandra Finished Basement Fund”!  Have a great weekend!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!