I need to do a better job posting every day.  As you can imagine, life with 2 toddlers and a newborn is a bit bananas!  Sal gave me the idea of categorizing every post as “Living, Fighting, or Believing.”  I like the idea, so I’m going to roll with it.  Since I posted last, I was Living, Fighting, Living.

Here’s what’s been going on……as you know, I had my last AC treatment last week.  It went very well, but I tried to overdo it in the days following.

LIVING:  I managed to attend Jameson and Chase’s pumpkin patch field trip on Friday, laundry and church on Saturday, Mother-Son Bowling and soccer on Sunday, and school lunch duty on Monday.

FIGHTING:  After lunch duty, I thought that I was going to fall over.  I honestly don’t know how I managed to drive myself home.  After the AC treatments, I had to take a steroid for 3 days following which gave me insomnia.  So, I would start the 4 days post treatment between 2 and 3 in the morning.  Insomnia + Overdoing it = Exhaustion!  I spent the remainder of Monday and all day Tuesday laying in bed thanks to help from my in-laws, Sam and Hil.  I felt like Cameron Frye from Ferris Bueller……let my Cameron gooooo!!!!  I’m having a difficult time because I don’t want to miss one minute with my kids.  I’m really trying so hard to keep things as normal for them as I can.  If they see me laying in bed then they’ll know that something is wrong.  Sal keeps reminding me that I’m paying a small price now for a lifetime of being with my kids.  I realize that I need to keep a strong mind and body.    A strong body is a well rested one……yada, yada, yada!

LIVING:  Thankfully, by Wednesday, I felt like a new person.  Sal and I visited Penn on Wednesday and Thursday.  I’ll blog about this visit tomorrow.  Anyway, we got to spend some time outside in Philly and even had a nice dinner together last night in the city.  One good thing about all of this is realizing how much we really do like each other!  I feel fortunate in many, many ways.

I’m planning on LIVING all weekend….you should, too!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

So, I’ve never been involved in any kind of physical altercation…..no girls fights….no hair pulling….no hitting….no biting…..none of the things guys dream of! That is, until yesterday.  Boy, I have to say, I pulled out such a can of whoop ass on cancer!  I had my last treatment of AC in the morning and I am actually able to feel the cancer dying.  I had my Neulasta shot this afternoon and will begin treatment with Taxol and Herceptin in 2 weeks.  Sal and I are traveling to the University of Pennsylvania again next week to meet with Dr. DeMichele as well as 2 surgeons.

Last night, Sal and I attended a presentation given by Dr. Neal Topham who is the chief of plastic and reconstructive surgery at Fox Chase Cancer in Philadelphia.  Our oncologist’s office is really cool.  The office has guest speakers come in quite a bit.  Anyway, Dr. Topham’s presentation was awesome.  He answered a lot of questions that we had regarding how the process works.  It was like getting a second opinion.  Myself and another woman were the only 2 young women in the room.  It’s pretty crazy.  We were actually introduced to the young woman and her husband from a few different directions.  They’re very similar to Sal and I……married, kids, diagnosis, etc.  They’re great people.  I’m really not into support groups or counseling.  It is, however, nice to converse with another woman who is similar in age, married with kids, and who is battling the same type of cancer as me.  So many other young women have reached out, as well, and I really appreciate it.  I promise to get back to everyone at some point.

It’s funny.  As we go through life, some of us are lucky enough to have our grade school friends, our high school friends, our college friends, our work friends, our Mom friends, our kids’ school friends.  Sal and I are now adding our “cancer friends” to this list.  Who would have thought?  Never in a million years did I think that at the age of 34 would I be battling cancer.  I’m happy, though, because I feel like I’m dodging a bullet for my entire family.  If this is happening to me, there is no way that anything bad will happen to Sal or to any of my kids.  That, I’m certain of.  I really am trying to just go through the motions and not really think about what’s going on.  Because, to be honest with you, it scares the crap out of me.  I’m doing really well, don’t get me wrong, but I do have moments of panic.  It usually happens when I’m alone which is why I try to be out and around people as much as possible.  I hate being cooped up in my house.  I’m a very social person so it helps me to be out and around people.  It keeps my mind off of what I’m “living in private”.

This brings something else up in my mind.  It’s Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Women, take care of yourself.  Like I said before, Breast Cancer is the number one cancer killer in women.  It affects 1 in 8 women.  As you can see, it’s more common in younger women that we think.  I can now give you a list of 10 young women that I know, personally, who were diagnosed before the age of 40.  If you are of mammogram age, go for it.  If you feel a lump, don’t let it go.  If you’re scared, call me!

Lastly, on a funny note, I’m not sure if there are any SNL watchers out there, but I love Kristen Wiig.  I’m so sad that she’s no longer on the show.  One of my favorite skits is Kristen playing a creepy lady with baby hands on the Lawrence Welk show.  Sometimes, when I’m putting Sugar on, I can’t help but feeling like her!  The following is her picture dressed as the baby hands lady.  Three hilarious videos are underneath.  The first one is with Will Farrell, the second with Betty White and the third is with Jon Hamm.  Every time I watch a Lawrence Welk skit, I laugh out loud.  Enjoy and keep laughing!  Oh, if you can’t tell, I have a sick sense of humor!

http://www.hulu.com/#!watch/73360

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/lawrence-welk-cold-open/1226116

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/20/jon-hamm-snl-kristen-wiig-lawrence-welk_n_1531056.html

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!!!

If you’re a Penn State fan……..I forgive you!  If you’ve never been to Notre Dame’s campus in South Bend, Indiana, put it on your bucket list.  Even if you are a Penn State fan, God forbid, you should still visit the campus.  You might get struck by lightening, but it would be worth it!  Really, it’s a beautiful place.  I last visited Notre Dame in 2006 and before that it was just before Thanksgiving in 2004.  My Dad was still alive.  My Mom and Dad, sister, and Aunt Tina and Uncle Pat flew out to Chicago where Sal and I were living at the time to spend the holiday with us.  My Dad, although he had probably been to South Bend 100 times, insisted that we drive to there to visit Notre Dame’s campus.  It was one of his favorite places on Earth.  I’m so happy that we rented a Suburban and made the trip.  It was the last trip that I took with my Dad and I’m lucky to have so many wonderful, funny memories from this visit.  Here are a few pics.

Sal and my Dad hitting the “Play Like a Champion Today” plaque.  If you’re not familiar, the football players hit this plaque on their way onto the field from the locker room.  My father had the ability to talk his way into just about anywhere!  Chase has a miniature version of this plaque hanging in his bedroom.

The Golden Dome – when you see the Golden Dome as you’re driving onto campus, you’ll literally get chills.  It’s so beautiful.

“Touchdown Jesus” is a nickname given to the large mural entitled, “The Word of Life” on the Hesburgh library.

Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes – this is modeled after a shrine in France where the Virgin Mary appeared several times.  The grotto is a very special place to visit, especially in the evening when it’s encompassed with glowing candles.

Where is this story going and what does it have to do with cancer?  Good question!

My cousin, Jimmie, and his wife, Karen, came by on Saturday with some gifts from Notre Dame.  They attended a football game in South Bend a few weeks ago.  While they were visiting the campus, they were kind enough to light a candle at the Grotto for me.  They’re the best!  Actually, their entire family is filled with very special people.  I’m lucky to be related to them.  Jim and Karen felt as though Sugar needed siblings so they purchased some for her while visiting Notre Dame.  Drum roll…..wait for it….Meet Spice and Cinnamon!  They were named by Jameson and Chase!

Yes, the Sciandra wigs sound like exotic dancers!  Hopefully, Jameson, Chase, and Cameron won’t name any of their children after our head gear!  I’m sorry to give you a bit of the history on Notre Dame, but it will always hold a special place in my heart.  Now, especially, since I have hair from there, as well!

I have my last treatment of Adriamycin and Cytoxan tomorrow morning.  I’m encouraged because the next treatment of Taxol and Herceptin is supposed to be more well tolerated than the AC.  Knock on wood, I handled the last 8 weeks of AC fairly well, so I’m hoping to rock the Taxol and Herceptin!  Time is flying.  I will be receiving Taxol and Herceptin weekly for 12 weeks.  This will take me just into the New Year.  My surgery will be scheduled for sometime in January followed by radiation.  Then, sayonara, cancer.  It’s been real!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I really can’t thank each one of you enough.  Our house has gotten bombarded with food!  I am going to look pregnant again by the time that chemo is all over.  Really!  Can I tell you what the worst part of my diagnosis week was back in August?  Gaining 3 pounds after being on Weight Watchers for a month and a half!!  Let’s discuss this.  I was having trouble losing the baby weight after Cameron was born so I started Weight Watchers.  I’m with Jennifer Hudson.  It works.  And, that girl can sing.  Anyway, I lost 13 pounds in a little over a month.  I was following the points system like a champ!  I was feeling great, then BAM.  Cancer AND weight gain!  Double whammy!  You’ll be happy to know that I have a doctor’s note to be excused from Weight Watchers while undergoing chemotherapy!  True story!  This was probably a mistake – I should still be counting my points!  In fact, maybe I’ll start again tomorrow.

Alright, back to it.  I had to post a picture of these.  A friend of ours from high school, Connie Paradis, dropped off a bunch of stuff this evening.  Check out the pink ribbon cupcakes!  How awesomely cute are they?

I just can’t get over all of you taking the time out of your schedules to do things such as this for us.  I’m humbled by the support of my high school and college friends – some of whom I haven’t talked to in years.  You’re very special people.  I will be taking the time to send out thank you cards.  I know, I know – it’s not important to you that you receive one, but it’s important to me that I send one.  My parents taught me well when it comes to this and I can only hope that I’m teaching my children just as well.  From the age of 3 with both Jameson and Chase, I sit with them after their birthdays.  We go over every gift and I have them sign their name on every thank you card.  Being grateful is something that is very important to me and it’s important that I instill this in my children.  I’ve received so much and I have so, so much to be thankful for.  I can’t tell you how truly blessed I feel to have such a strong support system.  I wouldn’t be able to do this without all of your love and support.  So, take this as a huge thank you until your card comes in the mail!

P.S.  I’m thinking of Halloween costumes for the kids.  I’d like to dress Cameron and I as Dr. Evil and Mini-Me…..but she has more hair than I do!!

“Don’t be afraid of your fears.  They’re not there to scare you.  They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”   -C. JoyBell C.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I’m baaaccckkkkk!!!!  I realized that it’s been a while since I’ve posted and I apologize.  Here’s what’s been going on:

I had chemo last Wednesday.  Everything went well except that it’s making me pretty tired.  The tiredness seems to last for about 5 days – it’s extreme right after chemo and gets better and better as I get closer to the one week post mark.  I’m lucky, though, that I’m still able to function almost 100% as a Mom.  If being tired is the worst thing that happens to me, then life is still really, really good.  Friends of ours rented a campfire space at Roba’s Pumpkin Patch on Saturday.  It was awesome!  If you’re at all familiar with the book, “The Lord of the Flies,” and kids taking over the world, think of Roba’s!  It’s complete kid anarchy!  Jameson and Chase had a soccer game on Sunday and we had some cool out family time, as well.

Sal and I drove into NYC on Monday afternoon for my appointment at Sloan Kettering this morning.  Here’s what we did:

For some reason, fresh air just feels better to me.  I like being outside so much more than I ever have before.  I lived in NYC for a while and have visited there dozens of times, but I never took the time to walk through Central Park.  So, that’s what we did.  Monday was an absolutely beautiful day.  We sat in the grass for a while and just breathed.  We had dinner in Little Italy which is always nice and got a good night’s rest before this morning’s appointment.  I wore Sugar to dinner.  That damn wig is so hot, you have no idea!

This morning, we woke up and I decided to venture out of the hotel sans wig.  I had a revelation.  The world does not revolve around Barbara Sciandra.  No one cares what I look like besides me.  Yes, wearing a hat makes me look like there might be something going on, but I just need to feel more comfortable with people staring for 3 seconds.  I’m building up my confidence, slowly but surely.

The physician at Sloan, Dr. Chandarlapaty, was super nice and extremely knowledgeable.  He sees patients only once a week because he’s big into researching new breast cancer treatment regiments.  Thank God for people like him.  Our reasoning for going to Sloan was two-fold.  We wanted to be sure that we’re right on track and treating this cancer as aggressively as possible.  We also wanted to make sure that I’m in the system if the need for advice ever arises in the future.  This still scares the hell out of me.  Sal keeps reminding me that, statistically, I have a greater chance of choking on a marble than I do of cancer returning.  I got the sense from the doctor that he’s a spiritual person.  He spoke of cancer being not only a physical disease but also a mental disease because of the games that it plays with you.  The doctor encouraged me to keep living my life and to not focus on cancer.  Some days, I have to admit, this becomes a challenge.  I really do try to stay very positive, but fear does creep up once in a while.

On a funnier note, ladies, you know that once you have a baby, all sense of self is out the window.  Well, through this breast cancer diagnosis process, I feel as though I’ve become a part of Philadelphia’s “Please Touch Museum”.  I’ve been poked and prodded and examined so much that it’s actually comical.  Sal asked me today if I minded and I can honestly say that I’m not bothered in the least.

So, are you curious about the title of this post?  Good!  If you’re reading this around children, please don’t watch the following video.  If you’re opposed to foul language, please don’t watch the following video.  If you’re in the mood to witness absolute nonsense, please watch the following video!  It’s gotten almost 52 million (yes, 52 million) hits on youtube for being ridonkulous!  I’m self proclaiming myself the honey badger while cancer is the king cobra!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

I hope you enjoyed the video!  I’m happy to be writing again.  Believe it or not, taking the time to sit and write for a little while actually helps me to clear my head and refocus my attention.  I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and I appreciate your comments.  I have to take the time to thank my Mom and my Aunt Tina for taking such wonderful care of our kids while we were in NYC.  Family is a blessing so be sure to appreciate yours.  Have a great night!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Hey Everyone!  I hope that this rainy Thursday morning finds all of you doing well.  All is well here.  I had my third of four treatments yesterday and have an appointment this afternoon to receive my shot of Neulasta.  Things are really going well, thank goodness!

Here’s a Sciandra Family Update:  We’re planning on starting Rice Cereal with Cameron today…..with the permission of Dr. Penugonda, of course!  The cute, little bugger started getting up 2-3 times a night again.  Needless to say, Sal and I are a bit tired!  We’re hoping that the cereal helps her sleep better.  Her two bottom teeth seem to be there, but they haven’t pushed through yet which might also be contributing to her lack of sleep.  Jameson is doing well, but she was sad this morning.  Her wonderful kindergarten teacher’s last day was yesterday.  Mrs. Rafferty is moving to the Lancaster area because her husband accepted a new job.  This woman is a gem; she is so good with the kids and the parents.  With everything that we’ve had going on personally, she has been exceptional.  We’ll certainly miss her and her genuine care and concern for others.  Chase is doing well, too.  He loves school and sings like a bird after school!  We know who had minutes off of their snack, who had their name on the board, who almost had their name on the board, who had special jobs, what they’re reading, what he’s coloring, etc.  It’s awesome!  We can hardly get Jameson to say two words so it’s hysterical seeing the difference in the two kids.

I’m not sure if everyone knows, but 4 young kids committed suicide in Luzerne County this past week, 2 in the Pittston Area School District, 1 in the Hazleton District, and 1 in the Nanticoke District.  This hits way too close to home.  I think about my own kids and myself, for that matter.  I’m fighting for my life while these young kids are taking theirs.

I really have no idea who reads this blog, but if there are any kids out there reading, please don’t do it.  Get help.  Talk to someone.  There are plenty of people out there that care and want to help you.  I know that when you’re in high school it seems like it’s the only thing.  One minute you’re cool, the next you’re getting picked on.  It seems like a roller coaster ride as things change so quickly.  There is so much more to life than high school.  Really, there is.  You have so much to live for.  You just have no idea yet.  Take the following as examples:  college is fun and is so different from high school, you’ll get a job that you’re passionate about, you’ll fall in love and get married, kids change your life for the better, you’ll grow older and nurture your children, you’ll have grandchildren, you’ll travel the world.  Or, maybe you won’t do any of those things, but you’ll have the opportunity to do exactly what you want to do once you graduate from high school.  Don’t throw it all away because of what’s happening in your high school halls or on your social media sites.

I was taught early in life that in order to have good friends you need to be a good friend.  So, be a good friend, don’t be a bully.  Help out others when they need it the most.  Someday, you’ll look back and you’ll be proud of your character.

I’m leaving you with 2 quotes to today.  One was my Dad’s favorite quote and the other I received from my cousin, Christy.  Both seem appropriate today.  I love them both dearly……the people and the quotes.

This was my Dad’s favorite quote:

This one is from my cousin, Christy.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I was thinking today about the culmination of things that had to work out perfectly for me to be diagnosed with cancer at this time.  For these things, I am thankful.  At the time, however, these things that I’m now thankful for didn’t seem like a blessing.  For example, I wanted to breastfeed my kids.  I tried and tried and tried to get Jameson to latch, but it just wouldn’t work.  So, I ended up purchasing a breast pump and I pumped, at first, 6-7 times a day, so Jameson would receive the benefits of breast milk.  Do you know what a pain in the ass it to be tied to a breast pump for 6 months?!!  Have you ever heard the noise that a breast pump makes?  I used to make up words of what the pump would be saying to me rhythmically……red-rum, red-rum, red-rum!!!

With Chase and Cameron, I also tried to get them to latch, although I wasn’t as neurotic about it as I was with Jameson since I already had a “pumping routine”.  I also pumped for 6 months with Chase and I made it almost 3 with Cam.  I have 2 things to be thankful for here:  Thank goodness I decided to breastfeed.  If I hadn’t, I never would have known that there was a problem.  If my kids did latch, I never would have known how very little milk I was expressing through my left breast.  I could have gone on for years without knowing that I had a problem.  My prognosis would be much, much worse.

Next, I had a miscarriage in between Chase and Cameron.  This seemed like the worse thing in the world when it happened.  If I did, indeed, carry normally 3 years ago, Sal and I would have been finished having kids and Cameron never would have been born.  The cancer might not have been detected this early on, either.  Remember, the type of cancer that I have was fueled by estrogen.  The timing for diagnosis had to be almost perfect, it seems.

I’m also thankful that I didn’t visit my cousin’s office at the beginning of my pregnancy for 2 reasons.  Number one:  what if my cousin wasn’t able to detect it?   Imagine being a family member and having to carry around the burden of missing something.  My poor cousin felt awful being the one to break the diagnosis to us.  I put myself in his shoes and think about how terrible it must have been for him to be the one to say, “I’m so sorry, Barb, but it’s cancer.”   Number two:  the cancer in my right breast is a different type of cancer from my left breast and it’s in the very early stages.  What if this went undetected?  Again, I could have gone on for years without knowing some of this.

My point is this:  there is always plenty to be thankful for.  We might just not know it at the time.  Sometimes we think we know what we want or how things should be, but there seems to be a greater purpose for all of us.  I’m really trying to go with the flow, having faith and confidence that everything will work out the way that’s it’s supposed to.

Garth Brooks’ lyrics make a lot of sense:

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs

That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

I also discovered through all of this that I enjoy writing so thanks for reading!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

goo goo goo joob…….

I’ll come back to this.

I hope that everyone reading this had a great weekend.  I have a few updates to share.  First, I had my bi-weekly blood work on Wednesday.  My numbers were perfect – all within the range that they are supposed to be.  My chemotherapy treatments are going very well, so far.  I have my third of four treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxan this coming Wednesday.  Sal and I were lucky enough to sneak out to our favorite restaurant, Pazzo, on Friday night thanks to my Mom’s availability to babysit.  It was nice to get out, just the two of us.  Thanks to my Aunt Tina, my house will be in the best shape that’s it been since we moved in 7 years ago!  On the days that I’m feeling well, my aunt has been coming over to help me get organized.  Sal and I will be traveling to NYC on October 1 and 2 to visit Sloan Kettering for our third and final opinion.  So far, we’re right on track.  All of this will be over and done with before we know it.  Victory!

So, let’s get back to the title of this.  I was getting dressed on Thursday and threw on a very comfortable, over sized, long sleeved, terrycloth shirt.  When I looked at myself in the mirror sans wig, I literally laughed out loud because I looked like a Hare Krishna.  My mind flashed back to October 30, 1996.  Yes, the actual date of October 30, 1996.  It was my freshman year of college and I was living in Philadelphia.  For some reason, I thought that it would be a good idea to travel to South Street on the night before Halloween.  I can’t remember who I talked in to going with me but I know that there was a group of us (if anyone remembers going with me, please let me know how you recall the experience).  If you know anything about Philly, you’d know that South Street is a bit wacky on a normal day.  Let’s just say that the place was crawling with insanity on the eve of Halloween!  There were probably about ten Hare Krishna’s beating their drum marching down the street, people were already dressed for Halloween – or maybe that’s the way that they’d dress normally.  I’m not really sure.  Regardless, as I was thinking about this time, the following song lyrics popped into my head:

Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower

Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna

Man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Alan Poe

I am the eggman, they are the eggmen

I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob goo goo goo joob

Random, yes!

I wanted to end by thanking all of you so much for your kindness.  Since this journey began a little over a month ago, not a day has gone by without me receiving a card or a package in the mail, an e-mail, a phone call, or a text message with someone checking in to wish me well or to see how I’m feeling.  I can’t tell you how much this means to me.  You’re all too good.  I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I am truly blessed.  Have a good start to the week!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Pronounced Shu-ggah with a Southern drawl.

The oldest of four children born into a middle class European family, Sugar received her green card in August of 2012 when she migrated to the United States for a better life, becoming a part of the Sciandra Family.  Sugar’s HD Fiber is 100% polyester and was made in Japan whereas her hair goods were made in Indonesia.  The combination of the two ignited a lifelike look and became a must have for Barbara Sciandra.

Sugar enjoys interpretive dance, hiding behind Sal’s laptop computer, being thrown around by Jameson and Chase, feeling the wind blowing in her blonde bombshell of a synthetic mane, and spending peaceful nights relaxing on her creepy mannequin head.  Sugar’s greatest fears in life are the opening of the oven door, hair regrowth, and ending up in a storage container with Halloween costumes.  Sugar is looking for a mate who is sturdy, soft, shorter, and also lifelike.  She prefers brunettes who are a few years older yet not over worn.

If she hasn’t already, Sugar looks to forward to meeting you soon!

It’s pretty crazy how quickly life changes.  I learned this lesson when I was 26 years old.  Sal and I were living in Chicago just 7 months into our marriage when my dad died suddenly from a heart attack.  I didn’t think that I needed to learn the lesson again but I guess we could all use a friendly reminder once in a while.  Hopefully, this will be the last of them.  I get the message loud and clear!

It’s been one month and two days since my diagnosis.  I actually haven’t allowed myself the chance to process all that’s happened because I believe that if I allow myself the opportunity to feel what’s going on, it becomes a part of me.  I’m not in denial; cancer just doesn’t define who I am.  This feeling will not remain etched into my memory.  Once this part of my journey is finished, I don’t want to recall what having cancer feels like.

Much has happened in the last month since my diagnosis.  I’ve been for ultrasounds, biopsies, mammograms, MRI’s, a PET Scan, second and third opinions, sharing news with family and friends, collecting pathology reports and slides, blood work, doctor’s appointments, and chemotherapy.  A lot of good things have happened, too.  My baby girl started kindergarten, my son is in Pre-K 4, my baby baby is getting her first tooth, my “big” kids are playing soccer, my sister visited for 2 weeks, I see the kindness in others, Team Barb in NEPA raised the most money for the Susan G. Komen Foundation, and I’m one step closer to beating cancer.  Score!  The past month brought many highs and lows; life is full of ups and downs and you just need to learn to roll with the changes.

My maternity leave was scheduled to end on September 17 and I was supposed to be back to work this past Monday.  Believe it or not, I haven’t been out of work this long since I starting working when I was 18 years old.  Crazy, right?  I like my job and miss helping people but I need to stay focused on resting and getting better.  If you know me, you know that I can’t sit still so it’s pretty tough to try to rest!  There have been a few days when I just crashed.  I get tired like I’ve never felt before.  Thank goodness for the support of my family and friends because on my “tired days” is when I’m especially thankful to have the extra help with meals or my kids.

You might be reading this and wondering how I’m dealing with everything.  I really do try my best to stay positive and remain focused.  I’m human, however.  Of course I have moments of anger when I wonder why this is happening to me.  I’m trying, though, to find the positive in this situation.  Writing about this experience is helping me and if I’m able to help just one other person cope with their diagnosis or help one other person learn how to deal with someone else’s cancer diagnosis, then it’s worth it.  I’ve been wondering if my priorities were a bit out of whack.  Maybe I needed a gut check to realign my life with what really matters.  I’m hopeful that I’m helping those of you reading this to do the same.

Ferris Bueller said, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  I think he said that just before he impersonated Abe Froman, the Sausage King of Chicago!  Gosh, that movie is awesome!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!