Good Evening, Family and Friends!

I’m writing to all of you to share some unfortunate news, if you haven’t already heard.   In November of 2011, during my first trimester with Cameron, I felt a lump in my left breast.  I spoke to my OB-GYN about it, and she sent me for an ultrasound.  At that time, nothing was found and I was told that everything was ok.  Since Cameron’s birth on May 29, 2012, I have been having trouble breastfeeding using my left breast.  My right breast would express 6-7 ounces of milk whereas my left breast was giving me 1-2 ounces at first, then less than 0.5 ounces, then only drops.  Two weeks ago, I spoke to a lactation consultant, Medella (the pump manufacturer), a different lactation consultant, then I saw my OB-GYN.  After seeing the OB-GYN and yet another lactation consultant, I then went to see my cousin, Dr. Louis Blaum, a thoracic surgeon who specializes in breast.  He sent me for an ultrasound and a mammogram.  I need to thank one of my best friends, Katie Murphy, for saving my life.  She performed the ultrasound and found the lump that I felt last year.  Dr. Blaum performed an ultrasound guided biopsy and I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma in my left breast on August 17.  I have positive lymph node involvement.  Without every piece of the puzzle, it appears to be a Stage 3 locally advanced cancer.  We’re still waiting on the hormonal and genetic testing results.  I had an MRI with contrast done and we found out yesterday that my right breast might also be involved.  I had a PET Scan yesterday and received some good news today.  The PET Scan is clear!  This just means that the cancer has not metastasized (spread) to the other organs.  I had an MRI guided biopsy of my right breast earlier today to confirm whether or not cancer is present there.  Tomorrow, I will be having a port-a-cath placed near my right collar bone.  This makes it easier to administer chemotherapy.  So, right now, it looks like I will be undergoing probably 16 weeks of chemotherapy followed by a bilateral mastectomy followed by more chemo and/or radiation.  We received a second opinion from Sloan Kettering today and they agree with treatment proceedings.

Please, please, please don’t feel sorry for me.  This is a blessing and believe it or not, I feel lucky.  If I was diagnosed at the beginning of my pregnancy with Cameron, I would not have terminated my pregnancy, although it might have been suggested as an option, and I would have been worried for the next 7 months.  If I was not breastfeeding Cameron, I would never have been diagnosed with breast cancer, because I have no other symptoms – none.  I’m a relatively healthy 34 year old woman.  Cameron is my angel.  God has big plans for her, I just know it.

I also feel lucky because I’m learning not to move as quickly as I used to.  I’m trying to practice taking one day, one hour, actually, at a time.  This experience is a gift.  It has forced me take a good, hard look at the way I’m living my life.  It’s making me appreciate time spent with those I love so much more and it’s also showing me that there are truly really caring and kind people in this world.  Life is good.

Please keep us in your prayers during these next several months and feel free to share our story with others.  The more people that know, the more prayers we’ll receive.  I’m not worried about me.  I know that I can beat this.  I have such a strong will to fight and live.  I’m extremely blessed with a strong support system.  My doctors are awesome.  Sal, as you all know, is an absolutely wonderful human being.  He is such a caring and selfless person and I don’t know what I would do without him.  I feel terrible that I’m putting him through such pain.  My Mom, my sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, friends……words can not express how lucky I feel to have these extraordinary people in my life.  And, my kids.  Well, I can’t even talk about my kids.  They are my reason for being.    I apologize now……you probably won’t be hearing much from me much via phone or e-mail so please don’t be upset if I’m not responding to each of your kind words.  I appreciate more than you know the calls, messages, cards, texts, etc.  I am going to take the advice of a very wise woman named Lori.  Her friend battled and beat breast cancer.  She kept all of the kind, positive correspondence from her family and friends in what she called her “Strong Box”.  I’ll keep a piece of each one of you in this box as you and your prayers help me defeat this ugly disease.

Someone will be keeping you updated as far as our progress goes.  Sal and I are not on Facebook – I know, I know – so he’s in the process of compiling a mass e-mail list to keep everyone informed. I’m thinking of starting a blog – it might be therapeutic for me to write about this journey. After I’m cured, I’ll have a road map of my journey from start to finish that I can share with my children someday.  If I ever decide to start, Sal will provide you with the address.    Thanks to all of you for your continued love, support, and prayers.  They mean the world to me, to Sal, and to our family.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Love,

Barb

P.S.  Sal wanted me to let all of you that, “You’re going to get out of this.  You’re going to go on and you’re going to make babies and watch them grow and you’re going to die an old lady, warm in your bed. Not here.  Not this night.  Do you understand me?”   Never mind, that was Rose Dawson and I do not have the “Heart of the Ocean” in my robe pocket!  Come on, laughter is the best medicine!