Hey Everyone! I’m placing the order at noon today so speak now or forever hold your peace! Have an awesome weekend!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Hey Everyone!  I apologize – I am having trouble keeping up with e-mail responses right now.  I’ve been getting a lot of questions on t-shirt ordering.  Please e-mail directly (Barb6438@yahoo.com) if you are interested in ordering a shirt by this Thursday, September 5.  Include your t-shirt size and mailing address if you are not attending the walk.  Walkers/runners, if I do not see you prior to September 21, I will have your t-shirts for you there that morning.  After Thursday, I can not accept any more orders.  I will be calling the order in on Friday morning.  You can mail me the amount due – $10 per shirt – to Barb Sciandra 70 Pinewood Drive Laflin, PA 18702.  I have a list of people below who I have heard from.  If your name is missing from the list and it shouldn’t be, please e-mail me so that I can add it for you.  Please pass this information along to others if you know of anyone that I’m missing.  Also, kindly e-mail me to confirm your t-shirt sizes.  I’ve been trying my best to keep all of this organized.  Thanks so much!

T-shirt orders received as of September 3 at noon:

Andrejko (1), Bachstein (1), Barbato (1), Jim Pat Blaum (2), Jimmie Blaum (2), Copp (4), DePhillips (2), Feduchak (2), Ann Fisher (1), Christy Fisher (1), Elaine Fisher (1), Katie Fisher (1), Tina Fisher (2), Gilmartin (1), Goffredo (3), Gordon (1), Hanley (1), Hochreiter (1), Keaney (2), Audra Kiefer (4), Lib Kiefer (2), Lavelle (1), Lee (3), Loftus (1), Martin (1), McHale (1), Mease (1), Melone (1), Murphy (1), Nat (1), Niemiec (1), Pietrowski (1), Rafferty (1), Ralston (2), Rocha (2), Shorts (1), Simkulak (1), Schulze (1), Splain (2), Villano (1), Welsh (1)

Also, if you plan on attending the brunch after the walk at my house – which I encourage you to do so – please e-mail directly so I can start getting a head count.  It will be a great time!  Remember, to register for the walk/run, you must do so online.  Look for Barb’s Army – I, Barb Sciandra, am the team captain.

Lastly, e-mail subscription updates on this blog have been working thanks to Nick Grochal.  If you have not subscribed and wish to do so, it does work.  I believe the link is on the home page.  Thanks again!  Have a great week!

“I take nothing for granted.  I now have only good days or great days.”  – Lance Armstrong

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

The moment you’ve all been waiting for…..drumroll please!

The official Barb’s Army 2013 shirt! 

P.S.  They’re the same as yesterday’s version except for the black lettering on the front!  Available sizes go from Youth Small to 5x.  Baby and toddler sizes are not available.  The cost varies (by a dollar or two) based on size so as long as everyone is ok with it, I’m going to charge $10 per shirt across the board.  It will just be easier to handle the money that way.  Any leftover funds will go into the “fundraiser money stash” and will be distributed at a later (hopefully sooner) date.  I have to take that money out from inside of our mattress!!!  I need to place the t-shirt order by next Friday so please get your orders in as soon as possible.  I can’t accept any orders after next Friday.

Again, if you’re planning on doing the Komen walk this year, you must register online.  Please plan on coming directly to The Sciandras afterwards.  My aunt and uncle will be hosting the brunch at my house.  It’s crazy – because people haven’t done enough for us this year.  Everyone has been too kind to us.  It will be a legendary time so if you’re not too busy, please stop over!  You’ll definitely be hungry!  I’ll get a quick headcount closer to the actual date.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Oh, one more thing.  I realized today that Jameson’s American Girl doll’s hair looks like Sugar.  I actually got a little creeped out when I looked at the doll – as Jameson was brushing her doll’s teeth.  Yes, she brushes the doll’s teeth – all 2 of them.  Aunt Audra must be so proud of her!  AND, Chase – the mayor – did have to stay home from school today.  He woke up with a 103.1 fever.  I can handle cancer but I can’t handle my kids getting sick – especially fevers.  They make me panic.  Chase was seen by the pediatrician on call.  It looks like a viral infection since his ears and throat look good.  God Bless him!  This year, Chase was lucky enough to be the first sick kid in his class!  I’m glad we’ve gotten that out of the way.  Enjoy the long weekend!

So, we had an 11:30am appointment with Dr. Czerniecki at Penn on Wednesday but we weren’t seen by him until around 3pm.  Even breast surgeons get toothaches!  Sal and I met with a dietician named Katrina as soon as we arrived at the Abramson Cancer Center.  She was great and dispelled a lot of dietary mysteries for us.  After meeting with Katrina, we rushed upstairs for our 11:30 appointment only to hurry up and wait!  Dr. Czerniecki must have been in a ton of pain to leave in the middle of the day.  The poor guy saw the dentist then came right back to the office.  We had a good, quick visit with him.  We discussed the vaccine that he’s working on.  It’s showing a lot of promise for DCIS – like being 90% effective.  I’m hoping to enter his Phase I Clinical Trial for invasive cancer upon completion of Herceptin.  I’ll need to travel to Penn once a week for 6 weeks, then every 3 months for one year to receive the vaccine.  Keep your fingers crossed.  He drew 6 or 7 vials of my blood for his research.  The vaccine works by using your own blood to create an immune response against HER2 cells therefore making one’s body immune.  It’s all really cool.  Aside from the vaccine, I don’t need to see Dr. Czerniecki for one year.

Sal and I will be traveling to Penn at the end of next month to see Dr. Serletti.  At this time, I’m hoping that he will want to schedule my “tweaking” procedure.  As I’ve written before, I’m hoping to have this procedure done at the same time as my port-o-cath removal just so I don’t need to undergo general anesthesia twice.  I’ve had enough drugs and have been sedated enough to last a lifetime and beyond!

Beauty tip:  find a good stylist.  Find one.  Period.  It’s especially important to have one during chemo, especially if you lose your hair.  THANK GOD for my friend, Nacole.  She transformed Sugar into a beautiful head of hair!  On Saturday, Nacole gave me a wonderful cut and color – yes, my own hair.  Yes, I do have enough hair to now have it styled!  Honestly, I’d never hesitate to shave my head – even if just for shits and giggles.  It’s only hair.  It grows back.  Don’t get twisted when your kids cut their own hair.  Jameson’s chunk is growing back, too.  Hers looks funnier than mine!  Sorry, James!

Sal and I celebrated our 9 year anniversary yesterday.  It was much different from our 8 year anniversary.  This year, I ran errands with Cameron in the morning, picked Jameson and Chase up from school, headed to piano lessons, Jameson’s soccer practice, then Chase’s soccer practice.  Sal and I hung out and enjoyed a nice dinner after the kids went to bed.  It was so great waking up this morning, August 29, 2013, and not be going to MOA for my first chemo treatment.  I am SO THANKFUL to be alive.

Jameson and Chase are nearing the end of the their first week of school.  And, the stomach bug hit our house already!  That didn’t take long!  I’m hoping that Chase makes it to school tomorrow.

I wanted to thank Maudeen Harnen and her awesome staff at Mad Tees.  Below is a proof for the 2013 t-shirts.  I think they’re really cool!  I wanted to give everyone an idea of what the shirts will look like since I’ve been getting a lot of questions about them.  The cost per shirt will be about $10.  I’m checking on the exact prices based on size and will let all of you know.  I’m also looking into size availability – if toddler and youth sizes are available, for example.  The t-shirt, itself, will be white and we’re working on the print colors of the shirt – more pink, less pink, more black, less black, etc. The top photo shows the front of the shirt and the bottom photo shows the back of the shirt.  Underneath the last photo is what will be on the left sleeve and right sleeve, respectively.  You’ll notice what looks like an “I” underneath Barb’s Army.  This was Sal’s idea and it’s a great one.  Sal wanted to add one strike/slash/whatever you want to call it underneath our team name to signify every year that I’m a “survivor”.  I’ll never refer to myself as one of those, FYI, but that’s a whole different blog entry.  Anyway, hopefully, there will be 60 “survivor” strikes someday.  I hope this makes sense.  Kindly e-mail or text me directly to let me know if you’re interested in a shirt.  The ordering deadline will be Friday, September 6.  I have about 50 orders so far.  One more thing, if you’re planning on doing the Komen walk or 5K run, you must sign up to register online.  You can be a party of my team for the family walk as well as for the 5K.  Please plan on coming to our house for brunch immediately following the walk.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend!  Thanks for reading!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

P.S.  Anna, if you’re reading this, I’m going to send a t-shirt to Tokyo for you so you can watch the season premier of HIMYM while sporting the 2013 shirt!!

……..and if you don’t, then change it!

One thing that I’ve realized throughout this year’s journey is that each one of us has the power to create our own happiness.  Happiness isn’t the result of obtaining something.  “Stuff” can make us happy in the moment, but true happiness lies within.  Happiness is a state of mind.  When we wake up in the morning, we make a decision – to be happy or unhappy.  Sometimes, unhappiness can be the result of something toxic in our lives.  Each of us has the choice to let the toxin become a part of who we are or to rid our lives of the toxin.  The toxin can be anything – an unhealthy relationship, a needy friend, an illness, extra weight, gossip, etc. etc.  For the rest of this year and for the rest of my life, I’ll be re-learning how to eat better – more plant-based nutrition, how to exercise more, and to make the time for things that are most important – my husband and children, mostly.  I’m choosing to be happy.  But, here’s a secret – I was never unhappy – not even this past year – not even with a toxin in my life.  Make the change.  Only you can do it.  Don’t let the toxin overcome you.  Only you can make yourself happy.

I feel like a kid again.  I’m starting this school year with a fresh outlook on life.  I feel great and things are going very well for me.  I’ve never been healthier.  I’ve never felt healthier.  Sal and I had an appointment at the University of Pennsylvania today with Dr. DeMichele, one of my oncologists.  I don’t need to see her again for 6 months which is great.  We have an appointment next week with Dr. Czerniecki, my breast surgeon, for a follow-up, as well.  Right now, I’m leaning towards donating the $15K to Penn for their research efforts.  At least I know that the money will be used – 100% of it – for breast cancer research.  I, personally, know the physicians that are doing the research.  Next week, Sal and I would also like to meet with Karen Wagner, the dietician that we sat with a few months ago, to discuss plant-based nutrition.  My cousin, Christy, passed along more information on this subject this past week.  It’s pretty crazy.  If you haven’t, investigate this a bit.  You know the saying, “You are what you eat”?  It couldn’t be more true according to Forks Over Knives.  At least for me, I have nothing to lose by trying to maintain a healthier lifestyle.

I believe that I’ve written about our obsession with The Sopranos.  When James Gandolfini died, I felt like I lost a member of my own family.  Really.  James Gandolfini looked so much like my Uncle Joe.  I miss him a lot, too.  Anyway, it probably seems like all Sal and I do is watch television.  That’s not true.  We use the last hour of our day together to cool the jets.  So, Sal and I watched seasons 1-6 of The Sopranos all over again.  Then, we moved on to The Godfather trilogy.  The Godfather Part III was really weird – cousins sleeping with each other – but they were all excellent movies nonetheless.  I know that it sounds crazy, but we could all learn a few lessons from The Godfather Trilogy.  So, here it is:

TOP 10 QUOTES FROM THE GODFATHER TRILOGY

10.  “It’s a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes.”  This line just cracks me up!  It reminds me of my dentist.  Since my maiden name is Fisher, Doc usually greets me like this, “Barbalicious…..sleepin with the fishes!”

9. “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”  Just because – how funny is that?!!

8.  “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.”  I think that I like the way that Al Pacino says this line better than anything else!  I also like Silvio Dante’s impersonation of it in The Sopranos.

7.  “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.”  You have to give Brando props.  That’s all I’m going to say!

6.  “If anything in this life is certain – if history has taught us anything – it’s that you can kill *anybody*.”  Same holds true for cancer!  You can do anything that you set your mind to.

5.  “He’s been dying from the same heart attack for the last twenty years.”  This just reaffirms my go-to:  nobody likes a complainer!

4.   “There are many things my father taught me here in this room. He taught me: keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”  This line is genius.

3.  “Never tell anyone outside the Family what you are thinking again.”  I’m breaking a cardinal rule of The Godfather but remember that I’m sharing only what I want to share with you!  I think that this line is so important.  Yes, there is a lot of violence in these movies, but family was also important.  Ok, yes, Michael did have his brother, Fredo, killed but you’re missing my point!

2.  “Because a man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.”  AND “We don’t discuss business at the table.”  There was a tie for number 2!  Make time for your family and cherish that time.  Time is the most precious gift that we can give to one another.  We’re all guilty of it, but make a conscious effort to put away your cell phone and converse with your kids.

1.  “Good health is the most important thing. More than success, more than money, more than power.”  Enough said.

Something else we can take away from The Godfather is this.  We all need a Consigliore – one person we trust with our lives for really good advice.  No one expects us to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders as individuals.  Even Jesus had someone help him carry his cross!  Sal is my Consigliore.  I probably haven’t doted enough about Sal this year.  He’s been so great and I know that all of you have been able to see it.  Sal is one of the strongest people who I know and I couldn’t have gotten through all of this nonsense if it weren’t for him.  You know how they say to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes?  Well, I wouldn’t be able to walk a block in Sal’s shoes.  They’re way too big to fill…..and they stink!  I would not want to be the caregiver.  I’m not strong enough to do it.  So, Sal can keep his shoes and hopefully, for the rest of our lives, we can walk barefoot together!

I’ve enjoyed having my kids home with me all summer.  But, it’s time for them to go back.  Our family room looks like WWF and Cam hops right in with her brother and sister!  We’ve made it through the summer without any broken bones or serious injuries – knock on wood!  We’re all off to a fresh start come Monday…..and we’ll most likely be late!  Sorry, Mrs. Lee!

I didn’t meet the deadline that I had set for myself.  I still have a huge box of thank you cards left to do.  I hope that all of you understand that I was too tired to write them while I was undergoing radiation and I was too busy with the kids this summer to adequately express my gratitude.  They’re coming as life is slowly returning to normal and I’m so thankful for that.

Just a reminder:  I’ve registered a team for Scranton’s Susan G. Komen walk which will take place on Saturday, September 21.  I’ve decided to participate in this race because it’s fun.  If you are able to participate, I’d love to walk with you.  As a side note, I think that the Komen Foundation is great for a lot of reasons.  I believe that Susan G. Komen is the reason that breast cancer is one of the most recognized and researched types of diseases.  However, in this day and age, only 25% of the money raised from the Komen walk goes to research.  My goal is to set up my own non-profit where the majority of money raised will go directly to breast cancer research.  If you want to walk with Barb’s Army, I’d love to have you on my team.  I’m not telling you what to do, but please don’t donate to Komen on my account.  For me, research is the most important aspect in all of this.  It’s how advances are made.

http://www.komennepa.org/komen-race-for-the-cure/teams/

Sal and I will host everyone on Barb’s Army at our house for a very laid-back brunch after the race.  Team t-shirts will also be made.  Our friends, Adrian and Maudeen, at Mad Tees will be printing this year’s shirts for us.  The deadline to order is September 3.  If you’re interested in one of this year’s shirts, please e-mail me as soon as you can (barb6438@yahoo.com).  This year’s shirts are different from last year’s.

Have a great weekend!  Thanks for reading.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

This August, I’m crying because I’m happy.

I asked Sal to take that picture of me on Monday night – August 5, 2013.  Monday was a sort-of whirlwind day.  I know, they’re all whirlwind days!  Hang on.  Before you keep reading this, let me preface this paragraph with the following – there is a happy ending.  Sorry, Linds and Kate!  Great seeing both of you, by the way.  Anyway, as I’ve mentioned before, I’ve had a cough for months.  It comes and goes.  Sometimes it lasts all day long, sometimes it doesn’t.  I can’t say if it started with radiation because I started radiation with a chest cold.  All I know is it really seems as though I’ve had a cough, off and on, for months.  On July 26, the day after Chase’s birthday, I expectorated a little bit of blood while I was in the shower- a tiny drop of blood – that probably came from my sinuses.  I don’t even know how to really explain it.  It freaked me out enough, though, to say, “Enough’s enough with this freaking cough.”  Is it my sinuses?  Is it acid reflux?  Is it a side effect from radiation?  Is it breast cancer metastasized to my lungs????  So, Dr. Saidman sent me for a chest CT without contrast.  I can’t tell you just how kind his office staff is.  Jill, one of his receptionists, got the test approved by my insurance company immediately, got me in for the test right away, put the order in as STAT, and had doc’s nurse practitioner, Priscilla, call me back in about an hour with the results – everything looks normal.  Good news!  My lungs are crystal clear.  The cough is probably a side effect from radiation.  Oh, and there are 2 nodules on my lung.  Ok, thanks.  Wait.  2 nodules on my lung??  What?? Priscilla and Dr. Saidman both reviewed the scan and couldn’t even see the nodules.  Ok.  But, wait…….

So, we celebrated Chase’s birthday with family and friends on both Saturday and Sunday.  On Monday, I called Dr. Peters, my radiation oncologist, to get his thoughts.  I wanted him to review the CT scan, also, to see why I’m coughing.  Dr. Peters was on vacation until this past Monday but his staff is also super nice.  The receptionist said that any doctor there would be happy to see me but I told her that I’d wait until Dr. Peters returned.  Sal and I both really like him.  So, Dr. Peters showed us the scans.  Dr. Peters wasn’t able to see the nodules, either, but reviewed the report with us.  As it turns out, the nodules are on my right lung, not my left lung – my left side was radiated, not my right.  I’m so glad that Sal and I weren’t aware of this for a week because both of us would have been freaking out with a capital F!  But, Dr. Peters reassured us that these nodules are most likely nothing being that they’re only 2-3 millimeters.  If he were to put a healthy person on the scan table, and by healthy I mean a person without a history of cancer, he or she would probably have a nodule here or there, too.  Thankfully, Dr. Peters is as anal as we are!  He’s very friendly with my cousin’s husband, John, who is a radiologist so he decided to ask John to take a look.  John is awesome, by the way, and so is my cousin, Katie!  Anyway, John was kind enough to take a look at the CT.  After some back and forth with the local hospital – don’t even get me started – I obtained a high resolution CD of a chest CT that I had back in 2007, the most recent CT, and also gave John a copy of my most recent PET Scan from December 2012 – two out of three in high res.  This is why Priscilla, Dr. Saidman, and Dr. Peters were unable to see the nodules.  They’re so small that they can only be seen in high res or by the very keen eye of a radiologist since they’re so small.  One of the nodules has been there since 2007 and the other nodule might have been there but high res wasn’t available back in 2007.  So, to make a long story short, one nodule is stable and we’ll take another look at the other one in 3-6 months.  Still, it’s highly unlikely that the other nodule is to be of any concern.

Whoa!  That was quite a story to basically tell you the following:  I hesitate as I write this because I don’t want to jinx it.  Unless I’m symptomatic, I do not need another PET Scan – hopefully, ever.  The CT scan that was done on July 26 actually shows a clearer, more precise, more specific picture of where cancer used to live inside of me.  The CT scan showed my chest, both sides, which looks normal, my lymph nodes which look normal, my lungs which look normal, and my liver which looks normal.  My tumor markers are within normal limits.  You see what I’m getting at?

I hope and pray every single day that I’m finished with cancer forever.  I hate these tests and the anxiety that goes along with them.  I understand why physicians won’t put their patients through yearly PET Scans and why they won’t run tumor markers.  Cancer patients would be spending their lives with their stomach in knots – and usually for no reason.  So, I’ve decided this – I would like Dr. Saidman to follow my tumor markers but I don’t want to know the results.  I’m going to talk to him about this in September at my next appointment.  I’ll probably have a repeat CT scan at the end of October to see if the 2mm nodule is gone, stayed the same, or God forbid, has grown – which, again, is highly unlikely.

After Tuesday, I started thinking about the chance of recurrence.  I’m not going to lie, I’ve thought about that every day since I was diagnosed last August.  It’s not consuming my life.  I’m living life to the fullest, trust me.  But, it’s a really crappy feeling to keep wondering every time I get a headache, or a back ache or a cough.  I’m not a hypochondriac but the first thing that my mind goes towards is cancer and what if.  I can handle anything.  I really can.  I’m tough.  I just don’t want to put my husband, my kids, or my family and friends through this again.  It’s been a nutty year.  This is just speculation – and a shitty speculation that I hope never, ever, ever happens – I can keep on fighting forever but if cancer were to ever consume our lives together, as a family, then that’s when it would become time to throw in the towel.  Sal, Jameson, Chase and Cameron deserve a normal life without a sick person holding them back from living it.  I never, ever want to be a burden.  I tried my damnedest not to trouble anyone this year and don’t ever want to feel like that again.  I’m not sure if I wrote about this in July but when we were at the beach at the end of June, I saw a very frail young woman following her little kids around on the beach.  She had a head scarf on and looked really pale.  She was obviously sick.  My heart broke for her.  I never want to be that person.  I vowed that I would never look or act sick and would sooner die before cancer would ever make me break my promise to myself.  Fuck you, cancer.  You will never take my dignity.

I’ve been spending a good deal of time lately organizing my pink binder – my binder filled with cancer stuff – path reports, genetic testing, ultrasounds, x-rays, PET Scans, CT scans, mammograms, insurance information, bloodwork, etc. etc. etc.  Going through this stuff still makes me shudder.  I had bilateral breast cancer that was very aggressive.  I’m lucky to be alive.  I just want all of this crap put away and only visible when I’m at a follow-up appointment.  The color pink and ribbons make me want to vomit!  Not really.  I’m being dramatic!  You get the point, though.

I wanted to let all of you know that I’ve also been taking some time to re-read all of the cards that have been sent to me.  To be honest, I feel as though I’m reading each one for the first time.  I don’t remember too much about last year.  Maybe that was my brain’s way of coping with what happened.  Your kind words and thoughtfulness really do mean so much to me.  I can’t tell you how humbled I am to know that you’ve taken the time out of your lives to think of me and my family.

Just a reminder:  I’ve registered a team for Scranton’s Susan G. Komen walk which will take place on Saturday, September 21.  I’ve decided to participate in this race because it’s fun.  If you are able to participate, I’d love to walk with you.  As a side note, I think that the Komen Foundation is great for a lot of reasons.  I believe that Susan G. Komen is the reason that breast cancer is one of the most recognized and researched types of diseases.  However, in this day and age, only 25% of the money raised from the Komen walk goes to research.  My goal is to set up my own non-profit where the majority of money raised will go directly to breast cancer research.  If you want to walk with Barb’s Army, I’d love to have you on my team.  I’m not telling you what to do, but please don’t donate to Komen on my account.  For me, research is the most important aspect in all of this.  It’s how advances are made.

http://www.komennepa.org/komen-race-for-the-cure/teams/

Sal and I will host everyone on Barb’s Army at our house for a very laid-back brunch after the race.  Team t-shirts will also be made.  Our friends, Adrian and Maudeen, at Mad Tees will be printing this year’s shirts for us.  The deadline to order is September 3.  If you’re interested in one of this year’s shirts, please e-mail me as soon as you can (barb6438@yahoo.com).

“If you get caught up in the worst case scenario and it doesn’t happen you’ve wasted your time.  If you get caught up in the worst case scenario and it does happen you’ve lived it twice.”    – Michael J. Fox

Have an awesome weekend!  LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Dear Chase,

I hope that I’m given the opportunity to dance with you at your wedding in a very, very long time from now.  Happy 5th Birthday!  I love you.

Mommy

Beautiful Boy

By:  John Lennon

Close your eyes

Have no fear

The monster’s gone

He’s on the run and your daddy’s here

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful boy

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful boy

Before you go to sleep

Say a little prayer

Every day in every way

It’s getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful boy

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful boy

Out on the ocean sailing away

I can hardly wait to see you come of age

But I guess, we’ll both just have to be patient

‘Cause it’s a long way to go, a hard row to hoe

Yes, it’s a long way to go but in the meantime

Before you cross the street

Take my hand

Life is what happens to you

While you’re busy making other plans

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful boy

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful boy

Before you go to sleep

Say a little prayer

Every day in every way

It’s getting better and better

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

Beautiful boy

Darling, darling, darling

Darling Sean

Good night, Sean

See you in the morning

Bright and early

Have a great weekend!  LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Let’s see how many times I can drop it in this post!

I know what you were thinking almost a year ago, “That Barb Sciandra.  She’s f’d!”  I have to admit, a part of me was thinking it, too.  I’m not sure if I’m delusional, but I really feel as though I’m going to be ok.  By ok, I mean I think that I’ve shaken this monster for good.  I pray every day that I remain cancer free and live the rest of my life without a recurrence.

Why is it that you only ever hear horror stories about Fing cancer?  I think that I’ve only read 3 triumph stories – Lance Armstrong (Stage 4), Kris Carr (Stage 4), and Greg Anderson (Stage 4).  I want a triumph story – Barb Sciandra (Stage 3).  I want people to read about me and my story and feel inspired.  I want my kids to truly believe that they can do anything.

I spent a good part of last week organizing all of my scans and reports into a pink 3 ring binder.  I’m wrapping up this fing stint with breast cancer.  Once my one year anniversary with this bitch comes up, I’m finished with it.  I want all of my thank you cards to be finished.  I want to put my strong box away for a rainy day.   I know the saying, “Those who want never get.”  Well, F you!  I don’t want any lingering cancer crap laying around my house.  It’s toxic – all of it.  This means that I need to lay Sugar to rest, too!  Dealing with cancer for one year has been long enough.  Sciandra, out!

So, speaking of the F bomb….

Have you ever heard about the book, Go the F**k to Sleep?  Check out this clip narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv6b0CretuE

This book was all the rage a year or two ago.  Any parent that I know really got a kick out of it – any parent of a newborn, I should say.  I remember buying a copy for our friends, Cheryl and Kellie, last year as a gag gift for Kel’s baby shower.  Sal and I have a copy in our nursery with all of our other informational baby books but I don’t remember where the copy came from.  The nursery stores our, “What to Expect” books, breastfeeding books, parenting books, etc.  All of the books that we read to Jameson and Chase are kept on a bookshelf in our playroom.  Anyway, Jameson and Chase always let themselves into Cameron’s room to greet her when they know that she, too, is awake.  Last week, Sal and Chase were away with some friends on a guys weekend which was a blast for all of us, by the way!  Jameson, Cameron and I were home by ourselves from Saturday into Sunday – we spent Friday into Saturdsay at my Mom’s.  On Sunday morning, I heard Jameson in Cameron’s room.  I yelled in to Jameson that I would be right in to grab Cam and get breakfast ready.  Jameson, in the sweetest voice, yelled back, “Don’t worry, Mom, I’m just reading ‘Go the F**k to Sleep’ to Cam.”  I’ve never ran so fast in my life!  Needless to say, the book is hidden away along with the talking honeybadger that Sal bought for me!  Thank God I didn’t make a big deal about this.  I’m hoping that the word is erased out of her mind until she’s 30 years old!

I forgot to mention that Sal and I were fortunate to meet up with my college friends, Brooke and Lee, and their awesome kids, Blair and Jake, when we were at the beach.  We met them in Rehoboth, had dinner, and hung out on the boardwalk with the kids.  It was great catching up with them.  One of my highlights of beach week was the following video.  I loved watching the kids playing the ridiculous games on the boardwalk.  Check this out and get ready to laugh!  I can watch these over and over again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQaJVO_82ro&feature=youtu.be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6zXdMlRI7w&feature=youtu.be

I loved seeing the excitement on Chase’s face.  The kids played 4 games and Chase won all 4 times!  Sal’s favorite part was watching Chase negotiate a bigger prize!  I’m not sure if I should be happy or worried that Chase is good with a gun and at playing whack-a-mole, but this was very good for his self esteem, nonetheless!  Chase is used to Jameson beating him at everything.  We keep telling James to give it another year or two and Chase is going to be bigger than her.  And, so it begins!!!  When we showed these videos to our family, everyone felt so sorry for Jameson.  Does this make Sal and I bad parents?!!!  F no!  Blair and Jake were so cute to watch, too.  They’re great kids.  It was nice seeing all of them getting along so well.  We’re looking forward to next year already!

This past Friday, we got to spend some time with our friends, Bryan and Murph, and their adorable boys, Ben and Nic.  Bry and Murph live in Boston but were vacationing in the Poconos.  It was great spending time with them.  We’re looking forward to seeing them again really soon at our friends’, Kevin and Cori, wedding in September.  No, you ahhhhhhhh!!!!!  On Saturday, our cousins, Anne, Dan and Martha came over to swim and hang out.  It was great spending time with them, as well.  All in all, we had a fantastic weekend.

So, my state of the union is awesome.  Swimming seems to be the best exercise for me as far as stretching my arms, especially my left side.  The more swimming, the better!  I’m feeling great, I really am.  I’m taking the time to relax a bit and wrap my mind around everything that’s happened this past year.  I try to focus on the good, not the bad.  If I focus too much on the bad, then I feel as though cancer is winning.  F that!  It’s not going to happen.  My last Herceptin won’t be until November – everything got thrown off by a week due to our beach vacation.  I’m hoping to have my minor tweeking procedure and my port-o-cath removed at the same time before the holidays.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Check out the photos below.  Jameson, Chase and Cameron joined Sal and I at my Herceptin treatment this morning.  Our nurse, Lisa, was awesome, as always, and the office staff is just so wonderful.  The kids brightened everyone’s day.  They were treated better than the new royal baby!

Maybe you’re thinking, “Oh, my God!  How could they take their kids to an oncologist’s office?  AND in the infusion room?”  Well, it’s very important to both Sal and I that we are always honest with our kids.  Cancer became a part of all of our lives last August.  We’ve answered all of Jameson and Chase’s questions the best that we can in the most kid-friendly way that we can.  Jameson wanted to watch me have 2 drains removed.  Guess what?  She came with me and watched.  As a parent, I think that one of the keys to gaining your child’s trust is to always be honest with them.  Talk to them about the tough stuff.  Do you think that it was easy for us to tell the kids that I had breast cancer?  That I was going to lose my hair?  That I was going to be gone away for 5 days to have surgery and have my breasts removed?  It wasn’t.  But, our kids are doing ok.  They’re doing great, actually.  Things are only scary if you make them scary.  Kids are smart.  Treat them that way.  I hate baby talk.  We’ve never spoken baby talk in our house because we treat our kids like the mini-adults that they are.  Maybe I’m wrong……but I don’t think so!

I’ve registered a team for Scranton’s Susan G. Komen walk which will take place on Saturday, September 21.  I’ve decided to participate in this race because it’s fun.  If you are able to participate, I’d love to walk with you.  As a side note, I think that the Komen Foundation is great for a lot of reasons.  I believe that Susan G. Komen is the reason that breast cancer is one of the most recognized and researched types of diseases.  However, in this day and age, only 25% of the money raised from the Komen walk goes to research.  My goal is to set up my own non-profit where the majority of money raised will go directly to breast cancer research.  If you want to walk with Barb’s Army, I’d love to have you on my team.  I’m not telling you what to do, but please don’t donate to Komen on my account.  For me, research is the most important aspect in all of this.  It’s how advances are made.

http://www.komennepa.org/komen-race-for-the-cure/teams/

Sal and I will host everyone on Barb’s Army at our house for a very laid-back brunch after the race.  Team t-shirts will also be made.  I’m going to call our friends, Adrian and Maudeen at Mad Tees, this week to see if they can print this year’s shirts for us.  I’d like to once again thank my entire family, and especially Aunt Tina, Emily, Karen, Diane and Katie, and all of my friends, especially Nicole, Dave, Cheryl and Kellie, for all that they did for last year’s race – organizing the team, buying bracelets, hosting brunch.  You guys really pulled it off!  I felt everyone’s support as soon as I was diagnosed.  Participating in last year’s race was something very special that I will never forget.  Thank you all so much.

By the way, that’s 8 times in this post.  Ok, one more for good measure!

That makes it 9!  Have a wonderful week!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Better late than never, I guess!  Thank you, Thomas Lee, the faculty and staff, parents and students of Holy Rosary School.  Think Pink, Wear Pink Day raised $500 which will go towards breast cancer research.  I’m hoping to have something set up before the end of 2013.  Stay tuned!  Please take a look in the photo section to see all of the Think Pink, Wear Pink Photos.  Thanks again, Thomas Lee!  You’re an awesome person.

May 7, 2013

Holy Rosary School

125 Stephenson Street

Duryea, PA 18642

Dear Holy Rosary Family,

On behalf of my husband, Sal, and my children, Jameson, Chase, and Cameron, I wanted to thank each one of you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and generosity.  Last week’s Think Pink, Wear Pink day was a touching experience.  I can’t even begin to describe the flooding of emotion that overtook me when I saw all of your children dressed in pink to support me and my family.  We appreciate the love and support bestowed upon us by all of you, our Holy Rosary family, more than words can express.  My family has felt your kindness every step of the way since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in August of last year.  Accepting help from others is not one of our strong suits; Sal and I would much rather be on the giving end versus the receiving end so we’ve had a very uncomfortable nine months!  Saying “thank you” does not seem sufficient to convey how appreciative we truly are, but I’m at a loss for what else to say or do.  So, thank you once again.  I am humbled by your thoughtfulness.

As adults, I’m certain that we’ve asked ourselves the question, “Can one person truly make a difference?”  Thomas Lee, I believe, has answered this question for us and he is only in fourth grade.  Think Pink, Wear Pink was Thomas’ idea.  It’s one thing to have an idea but it’s something completely different to actually act on it.  I hope that Thomas remembers what it felt like to see his idea come to fruition.  I also hope that Thomas will continue to seek out opportunities to give back to his community.  Thomas has made a difference in my life and I, personally, believe that the possibilities are endless for the future of this bright young man.

I wanted to let all of you know that your extremely generous monetary gift will be placed in a special account for the time being.  As I said, Sal and I would much rather give than receive and we’re trying to instill this virtue in our children as well.  Our family is extremely fortunate in many ways – we have health insurance, for one, and are blessed with an amazing support system – an army of people, really, filled with our wonderful family and friends.  We don’t feel comfortable using the Think Pink, Wear Pink funds for our family but would rather put the gift towards something that will impact a larger number of people.  I plan on focusing in on this now that I’m finished with my current therapy.  I promise to keep you informed on how we, the Holy Rosary Community, are assisting those that need it most.

During the month of May as we honor our blessed mother, Mary, the mother of the Rosary, and give thanks for our mothers on Mother’s Day, let us also be grateful for our children who have made us parents and have taught us how to love in a new way.  Please also remember to pray for those going through a difficult time that are not as fortunate -those who may not have anyone supporting them or praying for them.  As you continue to pray for me and my family, please say a special prayer for these individuals, also.  Having the support of my community has made things so much easier for my entire family.

Thanks again for all that you have done for us, The Sciandra Family.  Your benevolence will never be forgotten.  LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

With Love and Deep Gratitude,

Barbara A. Sciandra

barbstrong.pixelengine.net

As always, we have a lot going on.  For a while, Sal and I were trying to cut back on activities and a fast pace, but it just isn’t who we are.  We aren’t the kind of people to sit back and watch the grass grow.  We plant the grass, water it, then party on it!  What can I say…..we are true east-coasters!  We have 3 wonderful kids who make us feel alive.  They keep us going.  We’re very social – we love our families and our friends.  I tell Sal all of the time that I’ll sleep when I’m dead.  Life is for the living.

We just got back from an awesome week at Bethany Beach in Delaware.  Sal’s brother-in-law’s family has been going together for the last 30 years, I believe.  They were kind enough to invite us to go with them this year.  So, we were honorary Kiefers for a week!  There were, I believe, 70 people there this year.  It was really nice watching Jameson and Chase play with their first cousins as well as their new “extended family members”!  The kids had a BLAST!  I have to say that Mark’s family has to be the most welcoming group of people that I’ve ever met in my entire life.  I’d take a guess and say that Mark’s Aunt Sue must have coined the phrase, “The more, the merrier!”  I started referring to Aunt Sue, unbeknownst to her, as the Grand Marshall of Beach Week!  Aunt Sue is the the kindest, friendliest woman.  She made sure that she welcomed every single person and even came by our house to say “so long” as we were leaving…..and gave us the dates of next year’s Beach Week!

I’m feeling great!  I really am.  I was feeling so good at the beach that I actually forgot about my port-o-cath.  I was in the waves like it was nobody’s business and didn’t even think about the port until someone asked me about it.  I’m living my life.  Cancer can kiss my ass!  I had an appointment with Dr. Saidman yesterday that went very well.  I still have an annoying cough that comes and goes.  I take a Claritin D at least once a day.  My lungs sound clear and my chest x-ray is clear.  It could be allergies or a side effect from radiation.  Dr. Saidman and I talked about tumor markers.  He isn’t a big fan of following them because of the false positive and negative results, but he’s going to follow mine – because I’m a pain in the ass!  Remember, I was a perfectly healthy 34 year old woman who had Stage 3 breast cancer.  Any kind of heads up or red alert is good for me.  I might even ask Dr. Saidman to follow my tumor markers every 3-6 months and not tell me the results.  He can worry about the numbers.  I don’t need to.  My job is to live life and be aware of anything weird that my body tries to tell me about.  The Femara that I take daily makes me very stiff first thing in the morning and after I’m sitting for a while.  I’ve become a professional stretcher!  I believe that I’ve lost some of my sense of smell from chemo, too.  I still haven’t gotten all of the feeling back under my arms from the mastectomy, either, but they feel much better than they did a few months ago.  Everything in time.  Sal and I met with Dr. Serletti at Penn right before vacation.  I will be having another procedure done in November, most likely.  He needs to make some minor adjustments.  All in all, though, things are going very, very well.  I’m extremely happy about my progress and how much I’ve overcome in a short amount of time.

Being at the beach for the past week made me want to write about sunscreens and what I’ve learned.  Basically, none of them are safe and we slather it like soap all over our bodies!  The 2 best/safest sunscreens that I’ve found are Thinksport for kids SPF 50 and ironically, Badger SPF 30.  See, Honeybadger DO care after all!  Please, do your own research.  Visit www.ewg.org and review their findings.  They change every year.  This website contains a wealth of information – from produce to cosmetics to sunscreen.

It’s funny.  I was such a pain in the ass 16 year old.  I can remember laying around my parent’s pool with all of my girlfriends.  I’d be loaded with baby oil while I ate a hotdog, sausage sandwich, or a bag of chips.  Then I wonder why I got cancer!  Christ!  What was I thinking?!!  Number 1, I have fair Irish skin.  I don’t think that I’ve ever had a suntan in my life!  Number 2, hotdogs, sausage, and chips are delicious but those days are over!  While at the beach, however, I did eat a half of a cheesesteak.  It wasn’t worth it.  It didn’t even taste good.  I’m not religious about not eating red meat, but I’ve cut 95% of it out of my diet.  Red meat, fast food, junk – it’s so bad for us.  Trust me, I wouldn’t be preaching about this if I didn’t just go through what I did.  I was lucky enough to receive the wake up call when I did.

I had the great opportunity to speak with Mark’s Aunt Becca who, unfortunately, is a wealth of knowledge about breast cancer.  Becca’s sister, Kim, passed away from breast cancer a few years ago and Becca underwent a preventative double mastectomy shortly after her sister’s diagnosis.  Talk about courageous.  Really.  Mark’s aunt was one of the first people that I spoke with after my diagnosis.  She was one of the only people that I chose to speak with, to be honest with you.  Once I heard about her sister and her story, I felt compelled to reach out to her.  Becca is even kinder in person than she was on the phone, if that’s even possible.  And, just to set the record straight, I don’t care what Melissa Etheridge said about Angelina Jolie and her reasoning for choosing to have the preventative mastectomy.  She did it.  I’m sure, if I had the choice – which I didn’t – I would have chosen to do what Becca and Angelina did out of fear and courage.  Regardless of the reasoning, these women did it!  I bet Becca didn’t know that she’d be a trendsetter.

I’m purposefully not going to mention this young woman’s name because I’m not sure how she would feel about me broadcasting this, but I need to write about her – especially since I’m now on the subject of bravery.  I felt honored to speak with, possibly, THE most courageous young lady that I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.  A nineteen year old girl is embarking on her own journey to have a preventative double mastectomy in the near future.  And, she’s ready.  She’s not scared.  She’s doing what she needs to do.  Breast cancer runs in her family so she’s taking the bull by horns.  I didn’t know her Mom or her grandmother; I don’t know the rest of her family very well, either.  But, I do know if she was my daughter, I would be so proud of her.  I am proud of her.  She is the epitome of strength and courage.  This young lady is looking cancer in the face and flipping it off!  I really wish that she would speak to some women my age and older.  We could all learn from this young lady.  I wish her all the best and I’m looking forward to hearing about how great her life is.

My great uncle, Jim Fisher, passed away on Sunday, June 30.  His private family services will be held on Friday, July 5.  Big Jim, as our family referred to him, was a true gentleman.  I have only the fondest memories of him.  Sal and I decided that we are going to take Jameson and Chase to his services.  This will be their first viewing and funeral.  During dinner tonight, I tried to prepare them with what to expect.  We talked about a body, a casket, and a soul.  I realized, as I was having a very real conversation with my children, that I am so happy to be alive.  I was glad to be the one explaining this to my kids and that someone else wasn’t explaining my death to them.  I know that it sounds very morbid, but cancer forces you to look death in the eye.  As I was explaining our souls to my children, I couldn’t help but questioning my faith as the words were coming out of my mouth.  This isn’t something that I do very often but I think that it’s a normal thing to do.  It is, right?  Did all of this “soul talk” just get passed down from generation to generation?  Am I buying into the adult version of Santa Claus?  Is there really life after death or do we truly die once we stop breathing?  Heavy stuff to be thinking about, I know.  I, probably much like most of you, feel better believing in something bigger than all of us.

I have so many pictures that I need to upload.  I still need to share the Think Pink, Wear Pink pictures.  I SWEAR that I will post them this week.  I also have golf tournament pictures to share.  On Sunday, our kids’ teeball league sponsored a “Kick Cancer for Barb” Kickball tournament.  I have to post those pictures, as well.  I wanted to thank Bob Cappelloni for organizing the event.  Bob is one of the most selfless people you’d ever meet.  He would do anything for you.  I also wanted to thank Dave Nockley of Nockley Family Pharmacy for taking care of every child’s registration, Maudeen and Adrian Harnen of Mad Tees for taking care of our t-shirts free of charge, and Hank Aftewicz for organizing our Pink Team.  Sal and I are so very fortunate to have such wonderful friends.  These people would, literally, give you the shirt off their back.

Before I forget, I any of you received a very random e-mail from me – something about weight loss, berries, etc. – no, I don’t think that you’re fat!  My e-mail was hacked a few weeks and spammed everyone in my address book!  Please, disregard the e-mail.  I think that you’re beautiful just the way you are!

I am extremely excited to share some monetary totals with you.  Think Pink, Wear Pink day raised $500!  The Liberty Tax Golf Tournament raised $13,372.27!  How awesome!  I am truly humbled by the generosity that has been bestowed on us.  I promise to dedicate the rest of my life to my family and to funding a cure for this evil disease.  I have no idea what I’m going to set up, but I’m certain that I will make a difference.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

P.S.  Oh, and Lib, this is the last of your birthday surprises!  If I ever write a book, I will definitely dedicate it to you!  Thanks for being a good sport!