I pledged a sorority I had no intentions of joining this past year.  I never rushed.  I didn’t want a bid.  The hazing was terrible and the dues were more than I’d ever wanted to pay.  I’m told that I’m now part of a sisterhood.  I didn’t want this.  I already have a sister.  I have a sister-in-law.  I have a mother, a mother-in-law, many aunts and cousins, and I have a ton of female friends.  I was all good in this department, thank you very much!  So, in my new sorority,  I’m surrounded by other women – many of whom I have absolutely nothing in common…….but the Big C.  It’s funny how cancer brings us closer together.

Anyway, things are going great!  They really are.  I am living proof that you can do anything that you put your mind to.  I’ve turned my diet around.  I have literally done a 360.  I was a fun time back in the day.  Really, I was!  I can remember being 22 years old and hanging out at The Red Mill in Pittston until 2am and going home with a bag of Middleswarth chips, a Slim Jim, and a Snapple that I purchased at the Mini right across the street after a night out.  I won’t even tell you who my partner in crime was!  Classy!  Since last July, I have lost over 30 pounds.  Granted, Cameron was born on May 29, 2012, so there was some baby weight thrown in there.  But, still.  Know that it can be done.  It sounds so cliché, but where there’s a will, there’s a way.  I believe in my heart that this holds true for everything in life.  You can do anything, be anything, obtain anything, or conquer anything that you set your mind to.  Attitude really is everything.

I’ve made it to a point in my life where I can literally say that I care about very little.  My husband and my children are my top priority and I will do anything to protect them.  I don’t think that my vision was very blurry before, but things are even more crystal clear.  It drives me pretty crazy when I know that others are missing the big picture, especially when I can see it like a light in a tunnel.  I realize that every single one of us has a cross to bear – some are big and some are small – and I certainly don’t think that I am better than anyone else.  But, I do admit that I snicker in my head a bit as I listen to complaints about trivial bullshit.  I just keep telling myself that older doesn’t necessarily mean wiser or the issue that I’m hearing about must be a really big deal to this person or this person is just a complainer – that’s who they are.  They can’t help it.  They must have been put on this Earth to teach us a lesson.  Our lesson is this:  nobody likes a complainer!  Remember that.

I really do believe that every single one of us is here to serve a purpose.  Over this past year, I’ve stopped and wondered many times what my purpose is.  I don’t feel as though I’ve lived long enough yet to have truly fulfilled my life’s purpose so I just want to keep on going, and growing, and learning.  I feel like I still have a lot to offer – to my family, my friends, and my community.  I’m in love with my life which is why I’ve been fighting so hard to live it.

The kids finished up with school this past week.  I’m so excited to have Jameson and Chase home with Cameron and I for the summer.  It’s going to be a bit bananas having 3 kids home with me all day, but I’m enjoying my time with them so much.  They really are great kids – when I’m not peeling them off of one another!  Jameson and Chase finished up for the summer this past Tuesday.  They ended their school year with a Mass and paid a beautiful tribute to their principal, Ms. Gilmartin, who received a promotion and will be leaving Holy Rosary.  Ms. Gilmartin is a great person, a phenomenal speaker, and is a remarkable leader.  Mrs. Lee, Thomas’ Mom, will be serving as Ms. Gilmartin’s replacement.  I promise that Think Pink, Wear Pink will be my next post!  Mrs. Lee has been trained by the best so we’re confident in her abilities!  Mrs. Lee is also a great person – Thomas is her son, so how can she not be a wonderful person??!!!  Really and truly, we wish Ms. Gilmartin and Mrs. Lee all of the luck and success in their future endeavors.  So, after Mass on Tuesday, we headed to Knoebel’s – a nice amusement park an hour or so from our house – with many of the kids’ friends from school.  My Mom watched Cam while Sal, James, Chase and I had a great day!

I had to include the following e-mail that Sal sent out after our trip on Tuesday.  He’s hilarious!  A lot of sarcasm flies around our house.  Please read the message – take it all in.  Then, look at the picture very closely.

Hey All,

I just wanted to quickly share that Jameson officially passed Kindergarten this year with flying colors.  She actually received an ‘M’ for ‘Mastered’ in 99% of all the measurable categories.  She’s really a great kid, and a great student.

Chase is doing equally well with PreK.  Though he’s certainly bright and skilled enough to move-up to Kindergarten next year, we’ve opted to leave him back in PreK another year so he has a little more opportunity to mature, and to ensure he’s not very young for his class.  Instead, he’ll be one of the oldest students in his class.

Anyhow, for each of their amazing achievements this year, I had to think really hard about what to do or what to get for them that would last them a lifetime.  Instead of buying them something, I decided to give them an experience which will hopefully resonate positively throughout their lives to come.

Check out the attachment, let me know if I win the Dad of the Year 2013 Award…

 -ss

I wanted to wish Sal a very Happy Father’s Day!  I thank God every day for my husband, my children, my family and friends, and my health.  God Bless all of the special Dads who are with us on Earth and in spirit.  Enjoy your weekend.

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I made it!  Whoo Hoo!!  I turned 35 yesterday and Sal turned 35 today.  I tease him and tell him that he chased me here!  I listen to the radio while I’m in the shower every morning.  The first song that I heard yesterday was Billy Joel’s, Only the Good Die Young.  I hope it wasn’t a sign!  It couldn’t have been because I don’t think that I’m very good!!!

It’s been crazy since I last wrote.  My sister, Ann, flew in from California on Sunday.  She didn’t tell ANYONE that she was coming.  This was very smart of her since someone in our family definitely would have spilled the beans!  Ann knows how much I dislike surprises; however, this was certainly a welcome surprise!  Ann’s surprise reminded me of a scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation:

Eddie:  You surprised to see us, Clark?

Clark:  Oh, Eddie…If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.

It’s really been bananas around here.  Cameron turned one on May 29, Chase had his Pre-K Move Up day on May 30, and Jameson had her kindergarten graduation on June 3.  We celebrated Cam’s birthday at our house on Memorial Day.  It was a great day!  The weather was perfect and we were fortunate to be surrounded by our family and friends.  Although it was only about 75 degrees last Monday, that didn’t stop the kids from swimming.

This is a picture of Cameron pre-festivities.

Cameron didn’t dig her hat.  I think she knew that she looked ridiculous!

Cam enjoyed smashing her cake.  She didn’t eat her cake like we thought that she would.  She was more interested in smacking and laughing!  It was so much fun to watch.

This is a picture of Cameron after her nap and outfit change.  She loves playing with Jim Pat’s phone and is such a happy little girl.  I took her for her one year well-visit this afternoon.  She’s a peanut!  She is in the 20th percentile for her height and weight but in the 84th for her head circumference!  All of our kids have big noggins!!  Hey, what can I say?  They’re obviously super duper smart kids!!!!  I told you – Cameron is going to change the world.

Chase’s “move-up” ceremony was so sweet.  Chase isn’t really moving up, though.  Chase doesn’t turn 5 until July 25 so we needed to decide if Chase would be one of the oldest or youngest children in his class.  We opted to make him one of the older kids.  Therefore, Chase will be doing another year of pre-school next year.  Sal and I are thrilled!  We love the pre-school teachers and tease them that they’re stuck with us for at least 3 more years – 1 more for Chase and 2 for Cam.  The children’s school does such a great job with the kids and we couldn’t be happier with our choice for their educations.

Chase getting ready to leave the house for his big day!  We practiced his line with him religiously – “Next, enjoy our Hawaiian song, Pearly Shells!”  Chase got up on stage, adjusted the microphone, and said his line loud and proud!  Very loud!  I asked him afterwards if his teachers instructed him on adjusting the microphone.  Chase said, “No, Mom.  I just knew that I needed to do it!”

Chase anxiously waiting to receive his medal!

Chase receiving his medal from our school’s principal, Ms. Gilmartin.  She’s awesome!

This is a picture of Chase with one of his teachers, Mrs. Miller, and his classmate (and Mrs. Miller’s daughter), Maddie.

Chase and his teacher, Mrs. Simkulak

Chase and Mrs. Loftus

Chase and Mrs. Jankowiak

We included pictures of Chase with his teachers because we love them!  They’ve been HUGE supporters this year and we can’t thank them enough.

Jameson graduated on Monday evening.  It was the usual mayhem trying to get out the door on time.  Cam goes to bed for the night at 6:30pm.  Yes, she does.  She sleeps from 6:30pm until 6:30am.  I know – we’ve been blessed with great sleepers.  Once our kids started sleeping through the night and got on a schedule, it’s been (knock on wood) easy peasy, lemon squeezie, as the kids say!  I’m getting off track.  An eighth grade student at the kids’ school used to live right around the corner from us.  Her family has since moved but she still comes when we ask her to.  Her name is Denise and she’s an absolute doll.  We love her entire family.  Anyway, I felt awful leaving a screaming Cameron with this poor girl.  Cam hates everyone, remember?!!  Cam eventually calmed down – I was texting Denise to see how things were going.  As Jameson was walking onto the stage and the program was about to begin, Denise texted to tell me that she took Cam outside and put her on the swing – like I had suggested – and locked herself out of the house!  I felt terrible.  My sister, who flew in from California, drove back to our house to let Denise and Cameron back in!  I’m telling you.  It’s insane around here.

You will all love this story.  On the way to Jameson’s graduation, the following happened:

Chase:  Mom, some girls have short hair like you.

Jameson:  Yes, like on that TV show, Ellen.

Here are a few pictures from Jameson’s graduation.

Jameson all dressed up and ready to go!  As I was getting Jameson ready, I noticed something different on top of her head – her hair looked out of place.  Check out the following dialogue:

Barb:  Jameson, did you cut your hair?!

Jameson:  Yes, I did, Mommy.

Barb:  Why did you do that, James?

Jameson:  I wanted those things that Mrs. McHale has.

Barb:  Bangs??!!!!

Jameson:  I guess that’s what they’re called!

Barb:  Jameson, honey, please don’t cut your hair again.  I take you to The Sapphire for haircuts because the people there know what they’re doing.  You and I DO NOT!!

Jameson:  Ok, Mommy!

Here’s the thing.  I have NO IDEA when Jameson did this.  I give her a bath and wash her hair every night.  I get her ready for school every morning.  I didn’t notice this before yesterday at around 4pm.  Luckily, you can’t notice that she cut a small chunk of her hair.  As it starts to grow back in, though, Jameson is going to get the bangs that she was gunning for!

This is James and her teacher, Mrs. McHale – the one with the bangs!  We, unfortunately, didn’t get a picture with Mrs. Nealon last night.  Like Mrs. McHale, she, too, is a great lady.  Her daughter, Sara, is in Jameson’s class.  They’re little buddies.

A family photo (minus Cam) after the ceremony.

Barb and Ann – I still can’t believe that she surprised us…..and missed the graduation!  God love this girl.  Best.  Sister.  Ever.

I am so behind with thank yous.  I figure, though, that our culture says that you have a year to get wedding thank yous out, right?  I figure that I have a year from the date of diagnosis to get my cards out!  Please, bear with me.  They’re coming…..eventually!

Kudos to the writers and staff of How I Met Your Mother!  We finally saw Ted’s wife.  I loved the song selection that they chose at the end of season 8, as well – The Shins, Simple Song.  I’m so excited to watch Season 8 from beginning to end as soon as it’s available on Netflix.  I’m sure that I’ll be writing more about the show as I watch the last season in it’s entirety – in like 4 nights!

I became a lifetime member of Weight Watchers last month!  I reached my high goal weight and am 8 pounds away from exactly where I’d like to be.  I’m telling you – this program works.  You just need to follow it.  I knew that I “made it” this morning when our nurse, Lisa, made me get on the scale to get weighed so my Herceptin dose could be lowered!  Sal and I, especially Sal, give this poor nurse such a hard time.  We love her.  Actually, we love everyone in the office.  They’re awesome people to be around.  Anyway, I told Lisa to juice me!  The more Herceptin, the better!  That didn’t go over well!  I’ve been eating so much better.  Sal and I are trying to eliminate meat from our diets.  My cousin, Uncle Bob – long story! – mentioned quinoa to me a few weekends ago.  It’s high in protein so it serves as a substitute for meat much like beans do.  Ann introduced Sal and I to quinoa last night.  Ann is an excellent cook, by the way.  Quinoa reminds me of tofu.  It seems to take on the taste of whatever it’s surrounded by.  Listen, no one likes junk food more than I do, but it just isn’t good for us.  I’ve been buying a lot of organic food and am finding that I really don’t require much to get through the day.  I think that it’s really sickening that it’s cheaper to buy something from the $1 menu than it is to buy fruits and vegetables.  What’s wrong with our country?

I am currently disputing an $1800 bill from my insurance company.  Our insurance doesn’t want to pay for the CYP2D6 test that was done a few months ago.  I’m trying to explain to them that paying for an $1800 test is much more cost effective than having to pay for cancer treatments.  This test was instrumental in determining my maintenance therapy.  The test indicated that Tamoxifen, the drug of choice in premenopausal women with ER+ breast cancer, would not work for me.  It’s bananas!!!

I resigned from my job last week.  My company and my boss, especially, has been wonderful through all of this madness.  However, I am unable to return to work until I’m finished with treatment.  My company, understandably, was not able to hold my job forever.  Thankfully, everything happened on great terms and I hope to be considered for re-employment once it’s time.

Sal and I met with Dr. Peters yesterday and had a very positive appointment.  Through the grace of God, I’ve managed to get through everything – diagnosis, chemo, 2 surgeries, and radiation – unscathed.  I was a relatively healthy young woman prior to being diagnosed with cancer and now I’m healthier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.  I feel great!  Dr. Peters is very happy with everything.  He told me to continue living my life.  I don’t need to see him for 3 more months.  I’m almost ready to start running, weight lifting, and yoga/meditation.  Oh, and I’m going to learn how to play the piano, too!  James and Chase started lessons this afternoon.

Actually, I’ve never felt like giving up.  I’ll never give up.  This just cracked me up.  It really made me laugh and that’s what it’s all about.  Have a great evening!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!!

Pictured above:  Christy and Bob Savakinas, Barb and Sal Sciandra, Jeanna and Mark Mihalka, and Amy and Joe Mihalka.  These very kind individuals planned an extremely successful mixer, golf tournament, and dinner this past weekend.  Right now, over $10,000 has been raised for breast cancer awareness.  Something that Sal and I forgot to mention over the weekend is this.  Every year, Liberty Tax plans events to raise money for a different cause.  No one is forcing them to do this.  They do this out of kindness and the desire to better our community.  Bob and Christy, Jeanna and Mark, and Amy and Joe choose to give their time to make a difference.  When most of us were laying on the couch after a long day, these six individuals were on the phone, e-mailing, and setting up various websites to organize these events.  It’s not easy – they all work and have children.  I wanted to personally thank them for everything that they’ve done to help raise awareness for breast cancer.  Because you’ve made a difference, you are giving me the opportunity to make a difference.

It’s been a very hectic couple of days.  Here is the run-down.  Sal and I attended the mixer on Friday night.  It was great reconnecting with old friends and it was so much fun hanging out with new friends.  We got to meet a few women who have very personal stories that they were kind enough to share with us.  Chase got the stomach bug from Friday night into Saturday morning so I had to miss the golf tournament.  I spent Saturday morning and afternoon cleaning Chase’s room, washing his sheets, and Cloroxing his bathroom.  I was really disappointed that I had to miss the tournament.  Chase took a 3 hour nap on Saturday afternoon and woke up like a new kid!  I got the 3 kids ready and we headed to the dinner which was very nice.  Chase only threw up once at the dinner – probably because he was running around like a nut with the other kids!  Needless to say, I’m definitely not winning the mother of the year award for this past weekend!  On Sunday, we straightened our house and headed up to Sal’s parents house for a few hours.  On Sunday night, Sal and I went out for a little while to cool the jets.  We met up with his sister, Audra, and her husband, Mark at a local restaurant.  Yesterday, we hosted 55 people at our house to celebrate Cameron’s first birthday (which is actually tomorrow).  I’ll post pictures of Cameron very soon.  We’re all tired!!

I’m not sure what happened to me over the years.  I developed a fear of public speaking.  I admire people that are able to stand up and speak off the cuff.  If I don’t have everything written on a sheet of paper I blank!  You can ask my sister what happened to me on the morning of my bridal shower!  The following is what I said on Friday, May 24, 2013 at the Brickhouse Mixer sponsored by Liberty Tax.

I didn’t want to come here tonight reading from a scripted sheet of paper like a robot but I also didn’t want to forget anything so please bear with me.

If my sister, Ann, was here tonight she’d tell that you there are 2 things that I really dislike.  Number one:  I don’t like surprises and Number two:  I don’t like attention drawn to myself.  This past year has been filled with both!

I’d like to thank, from the bottom of my heart, Liberty Tax – namely Mark and Joe Mihalka – as well as Jeanna and Amy Mihalka and Bob and Christy Savakinas – for organizing tonight and tomorrow’s events.  I wanted to thank my family – my husband, Sal, and my children, Jameson, Chase, and Cameron, my Mom, my sister, my aunts, uncles, cousins, my in-laws,  my health care providers, my Holy Rosary family, my friends – both old and new, my community, and all of my supporters.  The kindness and generosity bestowed upon us from each and every one of you has been overwhelming.  I need to thank my friend, Katie Murphy.  I know that she’s sick of hearing it, but if it wasn’t for Katie, I’m not sure if I would be standing up here – healthy – tonight.  I’m also pretty sure that Katie is responsible for Sal and I talking on the phone for the first time way back in 1992 so we’re having a mural of her painted in our family room!

I know that it sounds crazy but this past year has been a blessing – truly.  We extended our family by one beautiful, healthy baby girl and our lives have been given a new purpose filled with a fresh perspective.  It stinks that it’s taken a cancer diagnosis for this to happen, but it’s happened nonetheless.

Many people have asked why we, The Sciandra Family, aren’t keeping the money that is being generated from these fundraisers.  “Everyone can use extra money,” is what I’ve been hearing.  While this is true, money in our personal bank account and paying our own bills isn’t helping those that can’t help themselves and it’s not bring us closer to finding a cure for cancer.  What I’m hoping is that all of you here tonight are witnessing the start of a new non-profit organization.  Breast cancer affects 1 out of 8 women but hopefully this won’t hold true for much longer.  It is my wish that the money being raised tonight and tomorrow will go towards something bigger than all of us – a world where cancer is no longer feared because it no longer exists.

I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to ask this of all of you, considering we’re in a bar, but at our children’s school, we start and end everything in prayer.  So, please join me in asking Mary, the Mother of the Rosary, for guidance in setting up an impactful nonprofit organization, for keeping those of us gathered here – both present and in spirit – health and safety, and for helping us to find a cure for cancer.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Hail Mary,

Full of Grace,

The Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit  of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary,

Mother of God,

pray for us sinners now,

and at the hour of death. Amen.

Thank you all for everything.  Enjoy your evening.  LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

If you feel inclined to donate, there is still time.  The following website will be active until Saturday, June 1.  http://www.donationto.com/Liberty-Tax-Barb-Sciandra-Fundraiser

More pictures from the mixer, tournament, dinner, and Cameron’s first birthday party will be posted soon.  Think Pink, Wear Pink and a Patient’s Perspective posts are coming soon!  LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I want to touch on a few different things, so please bear with me.

I’m trying to take on a new attitude.  One of the toughest things – and I’ve just resigned to the fact that it’s going to be this way for the rest of my life – is worrying about a cancer recurrence.  It doesn’t matter what kind of cancer you have.  Once you’ve had it, dealing with The Big C becomes a life long struggle.  It’s tough to not be paranoid every time I have a headache or a sore back or a cough.  I try to just ignore the aches and pains, but there is a balance that must be met – a balance between ignoring and freaking out and running to the doctor’s office.  So, Sal and I are trying our best to really make the most of every day and to live for the moment.  We’re taking on the motto of, “Things are GREAT……today!”  Life can change with no notice so carpe diem!

I felt like I got bitch slapped on Thursday morning when I opened The Times Leader app on my phone.  I’ll explain.  A few months ago, Sal and I ran into my first grade teacher in the chemo treatment room.  As a side note, teachers, if you ever wonder if you have an impact on your students, let me attest.  I can name every elementary school teacher that I’ve had.  I can still remember the names of my high school teachers and my college professors.  I can still remember which teachers were good, which ones were bad, which teachers had a clue, and which teachers were crazy – and I can still remember all of the reasoning behind my opinions.  You all have such important jobs.  You’re molding young minds.  I hope that you find a sense of accomplishment after every tough year.  Anyway, Mrs. Oschal was a great teacher.  She was such a kind and pretty woman.  I still go for treatments every third Wednesday so I would look forward to seeing her and her very supportive husband.  3 weeks ago, she was pretty upset and told me that she would be going for surgery.  I didn’t see her this past Wednesday and I was wondering how she made out.  Her funeral Mass is today.  Cancer really sucks.

I know that there are a lot of you out there who think that I’ve done something extraordinary or that I’m living in an extraordinary way.  The truth is, I’m really just living my life the best way that I can.  I really hope that, God forbid, if any of you were in my shoes that you’d be doing the same thing.  Life doesn’t stop – for anyone.  You have to just roll with the punches and play the hand that you’re dealt.  Everything in the life – the good and the bad – is momentary and no one likes a complainer, so suck it up!

I’m certain that you’ve all heard about Angelina Jolie’s double mastectomy.  It was breaking news this week.  I appreciate what she’s doing for breast cancer awareness.  Any kind of publicity on cancer is good publicity as far as I’m concerned.  It means that more money will be thrown at finding a cure for this bitch.  There’s a tricky thing about genetic testing, though.  For example, if I were tested for the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes 10 years ago, I would have tested negative but I still would have gotten breast cancer.  I have a genetic mutation somewhere but scientists just haven’t found out what it is yet – it’s not one of the most common genes.  So, you have to be careful.  Self breast exams and mammograms are still the most important thing that you can do to discover breast cancer early.  Jolie should still be commended for what she did.  Tackling a problem head on isn’t easy.  It also isn’t easy to share your problem with the world.  But, the more people that know, the more awareness is raised, the closer we get to finding a cure.

I wanted to share the following story with you.  Please read this article and tell me that these people aren’t whacked out.  http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-201_162-57580900/second-child-of-faith-healing-couple-dies-after-no-medical-care-sought/  Learning of what occurred in Philly reminded me of a story that I heard in a homily a few months ago.  I actually found it when I googled it:

The Downing Man

A man’s boat had capsized in the ocean and he was in the water praying for help. “Dear God, please don’t let me drown.”

Another boat pulled up and offered to pick him up but he declined saying, “That’s okay, I know that God will save me.”

A second boat came by and again offered to pick him but once again he declined saying, “Thanks, but I prayed to God and I know that he won’t let me drown.”

Left alone in the ocean, the man finally succumbed and drowned. He died and went to Heaven. Upon his arrival, he asked God, “Why didn’t you answer my prayer to help me from drowning?”

God replied, “You dummy, I sent two boats to save you.”

Listen, I pray.  I pray a lot.  I believe that God has answered many of our prayers in the form of new medications and advances in medicine.  Don’t be an idiot!  Don’t turn your nose and some of these things and think that you’ll be ok if you refuse medical treatment.  These parents should be smacked, especially when I think of the many couples out there who are trying to have children and haven’t been blessed with them.  You’ve got to be kidding me.

I’m still thinking about what to do with the very generous funds that I’ve been receiving.  Please read the following and be sure to watch the moving and very informative video.  http://penniesinaction.org/  A friend of mine was once told that when you’re dealing with cancer, you only have to stay alive until the next treatment option becomes available.  Thank God that breast cancer is one of the most researched cancers in the world.  I really believe that we can thank Susan G. Komen for that.  Wouldn’t it be great to be vaccinated for cancer like we are for polio or chicken pox?

The other day, Sal asked me what I’m impressed by.  Not much – really!  I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  Doctors, lawyers, pharmacists, therapists – they’re all just titles and have nothing to do with your character.  Trust me, I know enough pharmacists that shouldn’t be allowed to sort M&M’s and I had classes with therapists that I wouldn’t want to work on Gumbi!  BMWs, Mercedes, Lexus- they’re just pieces of machinery that don’t encompass who you are as a person.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I love nice things but I’m not impressed by what I have or by what other people have.  It’s all just stuff and it really doesn’t matter.  So, I figured out that I’m impressed with my kids – their ability to learn and develop into small human beings impresses me.  My sister’s ability to pack up her life and move all by herself to the opposite side of the country impresses me.  I was looking at pictures from October of this past year and I can’t even remember being present at some of my kids’ functions.  But, I was there.  Even though this year – all of it – has been a blur – from being under-slept with a newborn baby to a cancer diagnosis and treatment – I continued living.  Not letting cancer get the best of me and keeping my kids’ lives as normal as impossible makes me proud.  For that, I’m impressed.

Reminder – This will be here before you know it!

6th Annual Liberty Tax Fundraiser:

Pre-Tournament Mixer

When: Friday, May 24, 2013 Time: 6-9 PM

Where: The Brickhouse, Dupont, PA

$5 donation at the door which includes raffle tickets for Baskets of Cheer

Raffle baskets, 50/50, drink specials

6th Annual Golf  Tournament

Benefiting Breast Cancer Awareness in honor of Barb Sciandra

Where: Stone Meadows Golf Course (Route 115 Buck Township) Dupont VFW (Dinner)

When: Saturday, May 25, 2013 8 AM Registration, 9 AM Shotgun Start

Format: Captain & Crew

Cost: $80 per golfer (Fees include: green fees, cart, dinner, shirt and prizes) $20 dinner only option

Sponsor Levels: $100 (Gold), $50 (Silver)

For more information, contact Jeanna Mihalka at 570-237-0521.

Pending Posts:  A Patient’s Perspective and Think Pink, Wear Pink……stay tuned!

“If you spend your life worrying about death you’re going to miss out on what you’re scared of losing. ”   You can quote me on that!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I’ve been reflecting a lot on the events that have occurred over the past year.  I finished radiation a week ago today (it seems like months ago, thank goodness – happy dance!!!) and now I’m beginning to focus my attention on a few different things.  I’ve been cleaning my house and getting things back in order.  I used to use the excuse of – I’ll get back in shape and lose weight when I’m certain that we’re finished having kids.  Check, check, check!  Now, I want to focus on what to do with the very generous monetary donations that have been coming in.  I want to begin toning my body, running, doing yoga and meditation, and getting back to the gym.  I’ve now just started to begin mentally dealing with everything that’s happened.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer on August 17, 2012, had a port-a-cath placed a week later, and started chemo a few days after that.  I didn’t have much time to think about anything except cancer since August 17.  So much happened so quickly that I need time to take a breather and start refocusing my time and energy.

So, A Princess, A Pump, and Persistence?  Those three things saved my life.  Let me explain…..

A Princess

Above is a picture of Cameron taken yesterday, on Mother’s Day.  She was enjoying her spaghetti from Pazzo!  It’s hard to believe that Cameron will be turning one in a few days.  Cam was born on May 29, 2012, and has been saving my life ever since.  We never know what life has in store for us.

A Pump 

As I’ve been cleaning my kids’ rooms, I keep tripping over this damn thing!  Ask any woman who’s ever breast fed and she’ll tell you, I’m quite certain, about how much she hated using her breast pump!  In a state of delirium, I used to swear that the pump would march to the beat of REDRUM, REDRUM, REDRUM or CHIPS, CHIPS, CHIPS or anything else that you say quickly 3 times in a row!  I spent more time on this pump than a normal woman should.  I believe that I discussed how Jameson and Chase wouldn’t latch.  So, because I’m neurotic and wanted the kids to receive the benefits of breast milk, I pumped for 6 months with both of the older kids.  Those kids received nothing but breast milk for the first 6 months of their lives.  I now have a love-hate relationship with my breast pump – the Medela Pump In Style Advanced!  Who would ever think that this God forsaken breast pump would be credited for saving my life?!  I’m happy to be donating this pump to a friend of my Mom and Aunt’s.  Happy Pumping!  I hope that you have just as much luck with this pump as I did!  REDRUM is murder spelled backwards, FYI.  Watch The Shining if you don’t understand!

Persistence

Things could have gone very differently.  If Jameson and Chase “latched”, like they were “supposed to”, I never would have become a champion pumper!  I used to produce 10 ounces of milk per breast every time that I pumped for Jameson and Chase.  Trust me, my cup overfloweth!  I produced enough milk to feed a small village!  Anyway, if I didn’t pump so much for Jameson and Chase, I wouldn’t have known how much milk I normally produced.  If I wasn’t raised as a guilt-filled Irish Catholic, I would have said, “F THIS,” when I was producing 8 ounces on my right breast and 1 ounce on my left breast for Cameron.  But, being the guilt-ridden Irish Catholic that I am, I felt as though I needed to be fair to all 3 children, so I kept on.  I never gave up.  I called the hospital’s lactation line so many times that I can probably tell you all of the nurses names, their spouses names, the names and grades of all of their children, and if their kids are on the honor roll!  I met with a separate lactation consultant, my “pumping issue” became a topic during playdates, I rented a hospital grade pump because I swore that I burned out the motor of mine and that’s why something was wrong on the left side, I saw 2 OB-GYNs, and then finally met with my cousin who ran a bunch of tests and found the cause of my “pumping problem”.  Freaking cancer!  Who would have thought?!!

So, thank you, Cameron, Medela, and Irish Guilt!  You all saved my life!

“You just can’t beat the person who never gives up.”  – Babe Ruth

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Think Pink, Wear Pink post and pictures coming soon!!  A HUGE thanks to fourth grader, Thomas Lee, and our Holy Rosary Family.  Thomas is the young man to my right and Jameson is the young lady to my left.  I’m pictured with Jameson’s kindergarten class on a pink dress down day – Tuesday, April 30, 2013.  Dress down days in Catholic school are a big deal!

I feel like my last couple of posts have been depressing.  It might just be in my own head, though, because I’ve been having a tough time.  I’m feeling better now that I’m not as anxious as I was last week.  The sunshine helps, too!  It’s crazy.  I can actually see the finish line.  I’m honing in on the prize.  People literally cringe when I tell them that I would rather go through a double mastectomy every day of the week versus going through one day of radiation.  Well, it really is almost over.  I got the confirmation today that I have 3 treatments left to go.  I should be finished on Monday, May 6.  I messed something up.  I thought that I would be going much longer.  Math has never been one of my strong suits.  Yes, I do count your prescription medications!!

Anyway, I wanted to give all of you a few updates.  I totally forgot to let everyone know that I don’t have ovarian cancer!  I’ll never have it, either, because my ovaries are gone!  I guess you should never say never, though, especially when it comes to cancer!  I had a MUGA scan last week which was good and a DEXA scan yesterday which also looked good.  I’ll get the results of that, for sure, next week.  I got to see some of my friends at Vision Imaging yesterday afternoon.  It was nice to see one woman, in particular, named Caroline.  Caroline was so kind to Sal and I as we were undergoing our first round of tests – MRIs, biopsies, etc.  It was so nice to see her.  It’s been rather cathartic revisiting these places.  I feel like things have come full circle.  I’ll be starting a drug called Femara the day after I finish radiation – next Tuesday, actually.  I spoke with one of my “cancer friends”, Brenda, last week.  Remember the CYP2D6 bloodwork that was drawn for me?  The one that determined if Tamoxifen would work for me?  Well, I mentioned it to Brenda who is also a young Mom.  She’s been on Tamoxifen for a few months.  Guess what?  Even though 90% of women are fast metabolizers, Brenda and I are not.  Brenda will be stopping Tamoxifen and will be having her ovaries out soon, too.  Should I say it again?  Ok, sure.  Be your own advocate.  No question is a silly question.  Don’t stop reading and learning.  Do your own research and if you don’t understand something, ask a friend to help you make sense of things.

So, let’s talk about my kids.  Cameron will be turning one on May 29.  She’s full of tricks!  “So big”, mimicking her big brother and sister, snorting like a piggy, eating all table food, and walking!  Yes, she’s been taking steps since she was about nine or ten months, but she is full blown walking.  She looks like Baby Frankenstein stepping around.  I’m partial, but she’s adorable.  Johnny Depp’s quote about one year olds cracks me up:  “When kids hit 1 year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk.  You have to hold onto them.  They bump into things.  They laugh and cry.  They urinate.  They vomit.”  Cameron, I love you so much!

Chase.  Oh, Chase!  I wasn’t sure if I should be upset about the note or proud of him for getting everything right!  Chase really is so funny.  That kid doesn’t have a serious bone in his body.  I have a million funny Chase stories, but this note has become my all time favorite…..for this week!

Jameson is the kindest kid on the planet.  She really is.  You’ll enjoy this story.  Did you ever notice how all of the ridonkulous things that our parents have ever said to us, as much as we hated them, we now say as a parent?  Things like, “I have eyes in the back of my head.”  Well, my very intelligent 6 year old daughter called me on it.  We were on our way home from a birthday party last weekend.  Jameson is smart enough to know that I have to check all of her “goodie bag” candy before she can eat anything due to her peanut allergy.  Jameson kept trying to hand me candy while I was driving.  I said, “Jameson, honey, I can’t look at it right now.  I’m driving.  You’ll have to wait until we get home.”  Jameson responded, “Mom, just look at it with the eyes in the back of your head,” and giggled.  “Mom, you don’t really have eyes in the back of your head, do you?”  What is a mother supposed to say?!!  I say it all of the time – we’ll all be better off once we resign to the fact that our kids are much, much smarter than we are!

As Mother’s Day quickly approaches and I give thanks for my own Mom, my mother-in-law, my godmother, my grandmothers, and all of the special “Moms” in my life, this year and every year from now on, I’m going to be sure that I thank my own children and my husband for making me a mother.  As bananas as our life can be, I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’m going to hold Cameron a little tighter on Mother’s Day, too.  I gave her the gift of life but she gave it right back to me.  I’m a really lucky person.

“Your children are the greatest gift God will give to you, and their souls the heaviest responsibility He will place in your hands.  Take time with them, teach them to have faith in God.  Be a person in whom they can have faith.  When you are old, nothing else you’ve done will have mattered as much.”  – Lisa Wingate

The following are a few tips for anyone who might have to endure radiation treatments.

Top 10 Things to Do to Pass the Time While Undergoing Radiation Therapy:

10.  See how many bottles of beer end up on the wall.  You know, start with 100 and count down.  100 bottles of beer on the wall.  100 bottles of beer.  Take one down, pass it around.  99 bottles of beer on the wall….and so on.

9.  Name the Duggar Family.  This can be rather difficult for people like me who have never seen the show.  The best thing to do is to make up a name and end it with Jo or Bob.  For example:  Jim Bob, Billy Jo, Tommy Bob, Hailey Jo, etc.

8.  Think of ways that Kourtney and Kim take New York.  Again, if you’re like me and have never watched the Kardashians or any shows of the like, ask questions like:  do they take Manhattan like the Muppets did?

7.  Try to recite Who’s on First without sounding bipolar.

6.  Sing Stairway to Heaven, American Pie, Thunder Road, and Bohemian Rhapsody as fast as you can in order to finish all 4 songs in less than 5 minutes.

5.  Think of the next “hot” phrases and try to get them to catch on as a part of your normal conversations.  Take some of Jersey Shore’s phrases like the following:  Snookin’ for Love, It’s a situation, meatball, grenade, FPC, etc.  Also, I’ve never watched Jersey Shore but I googled the most common things said on the show!  When you drop your child off at school tomorrow morning, yell one out to another parent and see how it works out for you.

4.  Select the cast for the next season of Dancing with the Stars.  So far, I’ve selected Psy, Kirk Douglas, Barbara Walters, James Gandolfini, Betty White, and Honey Boo Boo.

3.  Make up mobster nicknames.  Sal and I are on a huge Soprano’s kick again.  We started watching the reruns on HBO and pulled out our box set DVD’s.  You can make up anything and it sounds good.  The more ridonkulous, the better!  For example:  Big Puss, The Nose, Cheez-It, Muscles Marinara, Little Paulie, Tick Tock, Twizzler, Philly Spoons, Animal Cracker, etc.  Some of these names are from the Sopranos, some I made up, and some are real nicknames!  I looked them up!  You have no idea which ones are real, which ones are from television, or which ones are fake, do you?!!

2.  Envision your attire on your children’s wedding day.  I have envisioned two mother of the bride dresses and one mother of the groom dress.  I better not be wearing any of the three for at least 22 more years – and that’s just for Jameson.  Chase and Cam need to wait even longer!

1.  Pray.  I still pray the same prayers every day.  I have it down to a science now.  I say my prayers and count to 30 and I’m finished.

Reminder:

6th Annual Liberty Tax Fundraiser:

Pre-Tournament Mixer

When: Friday, May 24, 2013 Time: 6-9 PM

Where: The Brickhouse, Dupont, PA

$5 donation at the door which includes raffle tickets for Baskets of Cheer

Raffle baskets, 50/50, drink specials

** If anyone feels so inclined, Baskets of Cheer are needed.** 

6th Annual Golf  Tournament

Benefiting Breast Cancer Awareness in honor of Barb Sciandra

Where: Stone Meadows Golf Course (Route 115 Buck Township) Dupont VFW (Dinner)

When: Saturday, May 25, 2013 8 AM Registration, 9 AM Shotgun Start

Format: Captain & Crew

Cost: $80 per golfer (Fees include: green fees, cart, dinner, shirt and prizes) $20 dinner only option

Sponsor Levels: $100 (Gold), $50 (Silver)

For more information, contact Jeanna Mihalka at 570-237-0521.

**If you plan on attending the dinner ONLY, please let Jeanna know by May 12.**

Our friends were also kind enough to set up and online donation site if you wish to do so.  The following is the link:   http://www.donationto.com/Liberty-Tax-Barb-Sciandra-Fundraiser

Have a great night and a sunny tomorrow!  LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

When I started this journey way back in August, I called cancer a gift.  I realize now that I misspoke.  I started reading Kris Carr’s book, Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips, about a week ago.  My cousin, Anne – the organic guru, bought it for me.  I love Anne….and the book!  If you’re at all interested in an easy read that is real, informative, and funny, pick up this book.  Kris rocks!  Here are Kris’s thoughts on cancer being a “gift”:

I hate using the G-word – you know, cancer is a “Gift.”  Yuck.  It isn’t!  There is no return receipt, and it certainly isn’t a present I’d give to you.  “Happy Holidays!  Ooh, just what I wanted, cancer, you really shouldn’t have.”  Cancer isn’t a puppy, a pony, a new doll, or a shiny truck.  Cancer isn’t something to say thank you for, but it can be a catalyst.  I finally had permission to take risks, put myself first, and dump my baggage.  Yes, it may have been Louis Vuitton, but it still had to go!  Why had I neglected myself for so long?  I had an inner voice that knew better, so why had I ignored it?  – Kris Carr, Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips 

Things are going ok for me right now.  I have a few weeks of radiation left and I am really looking forward to being finished.  I’m staying positive and there isn’t an ounce of quit in me – quitting has never been an option – but I really hate radiation.  I hate everything about it.  I look forward to the weekend for different reasons now – I look forward to getting Saturday and Sunday off – from radiation!  I actually wake up every morning, Monday through Friday, feeling nauseous because I don’t want to go to my treatment.  I hate driving there, I hate sitting in the waiting area, and I hate laying on the table.  Do you get my point?  I hate radiation!!

Sal and I had a busy day today.  We dropped the kids off at school, headed to NROC for an 8:30 radiation appointment, met with Dr. Peters, met with an attorney to have Cameron added to our will, ate a quick breakfast, headed to Kingston to meet with Dr. Saidman, Herceptin treatment next, then we picked the kids up from school, did homework, ate dinner, and headed to tee-ball.  I actually took a quick nap today.  I was beat.  Dr. Peters and Dr. Saidman are both happy with the way that things are going.  I’ll be starting Femara the day after my last radiation treatment and will be able to get my port taken out in November after my last Herceptin treatment at the end of October.  Yay!!

So, I’m hanging in there right now and am counting down the days until radiation is finished.  I have a pretty big blister under my left arm and along my collar bone which I’m using SSD cream for.  I joked with one of my friends who loves to sunbathe.  My fair, Irish skin is really getting nuked!  I told my girlfriend that she’d be asking them to crank up the radiation for a good base tan before the summer begins!

Reminder:

6th Annual Liberty Tax Fundraiser:

Pre-Tournament Mixer

When: Friday, May 24, 2013 Time: 6-9 PM

Where: The Brickhouse, Dupont, PA

$5 donation at the door which includes raffle tickets for Baskets of Cheer

Raffle baskets, 50/50, drink specials

** If anyone feels so inclined, Baskets of Cheer are needed.** 

6th Annual Golf  Tournament

Benefiting Breast Cancer Awareness in honor of Barb Sciandra

Where: Stone Meadows Golf Course (Route 115 Buck Township) Dupont VFW (Dinner)

When: Saturday, May 25, 2013 8 AM Registration, 9 AM Shotgun Start

Format: Captain & Crew

Cost: $80 per golfer (Fees include: green fees, cart, dinner, shirt and prizes) $20 dinner only option

Sponsor Levels: $100 (Gold), $50 (Silver)

For more information, contact Jeanna Mihalka at 570-237-0521.

**If you plan on attending the dinner ONLY, please let Jeanna know by May 12.**

Our friends were also kind enough to set up and online donation site if you wish to do so.  The following is the link:   http://www.donationto.com/Liberty-Tax-Barb-Sciandra-Fundraiser

I wanted to close with another excerpt from Kris Carr’s book written by Sheryl Crow.  Going forward, know that if I’m with you – at a party, at dinner, doing something for you or just hanging out with you that I want to be there.

I remember my radiologist saying to me, “Your mission now is to ask yourself every day, ‘Am I doing what I want to be doing?'”  And I do ask myself that, every day.  I try to make the answer yes, even if it requires saying the word no and disappointing someone.  My experience was about letting go.  It was about really experiencing all that was happening at the deepest emotional level, for that is where the big life changes occur.  That is where you meet yourself.  Where you begin remembering who you are and who you were meant to be.  I don’t believe you have to be diagnosed to come to these lessons, but sometimes the catastrophic moments in life force you to focus in on the immediate.  – Sheryl Crow, Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

I’m going to be completely honest.  I HAVE THE SHITS OF THIS NONSENSE!!!  I can’t wait until all of this is over.  I can’t stand radiation therapy.  I was told that radiation is the “easy” part…..the downward slope.  Well, it sucks!  I would take chemo or surgery over radiation any day.  True story!  So, let’s bring back a top ten list.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY RADIATION TREATMENT SUCKS:

10.  My idea of a strapless bathing suit is out the window for this summer!  Because radiation has a cumulative effect, my body will still be frying like bacon for a while after I’m finished.  Bring on the surfer wet suit for me!  I’m not missing time in the pool with my kids this summer because of radiation.  I’ll be in my backyard covered like a NASA astronaut…..but I’ll be in the pool!

9.  I’m not in control of it.  At least with the mastectomy, I decided when I got out of bed, started moving, pushed myself, etc.  With chemo, I watched the medication go into my port.  I felt like I was somewhat involved in what was happening.  With radiation, everything is completely out of my control.  I’m laying on a table and I have no idea what or how things are happening.

8.  My chest is red and itchy.

7.  I have esophagitis.  My esophagus is swollen so I’m having trouble swallowing and eating.  The silver lining:  losing the last 10 pounds should be a cinch at this point!

6.  I’m in a white room all by myself for 10 minutes.

5.  I feel like a corpse laying in a casket.

4.  I’ve mentioned before about how the smell of smoke really bothers me now.  I can’t get over the number of people waiting to receive radiation therapy who reek like cigarette smoke.  It’s unbelievable to me.  You have cancer and you smell like a carcinogen!  What are you thinking and why do I have to smell you?!!

3.  It’s monotonous…..and exhausting.  Driving to the same place every day Monday through Friday for a 10 minute appointment.  Don’t even try to compare it to work.  We get paid when we work!  It’s more like the movie, Groundhog Day!

2.  I’m losing my taste for coffee.  You might not consider this a bad thing, but I do!  I love coffee!

1.  I’m going to let all of you in on a little secret.  Sal Sciandra doesn’t even know this.  Last week, I laid on the “radiation table”…..inside of the “tube”…..alone in the treatment room….during radiation therapy…..and I cried as I listened to the “squirrels” running past my head.  10 minutes in a room by myself with no distractions laying completely still gives me way too much time to think about what’s actually happened/happening to me.  Like I said, I’m ready to get off the ride now.  I’m all done!

I was humbled yesterday afternoon at Jameson and Chase’s opening day of tee ball.  Christy Savakinas mentioned to me that Liberty Tax would be doing something for the upcoming fundraiser during opening day ceremonies.  Well, they had a tent set up with a bunch of tables selling raffles for all of the beautiful Baskets of Cheer.  I’m lucky that I had black sunglasses on because I couldn’t help but cry.  They raised almost $800 yesterday which is awesome.  I can’t thank all of you enough for your kindness and generosity.  Now, I need to figure out how I’m going to make a difference.  What will I use these funds for to make a real impact?

6th Annual Liberty Tax Fundraiser:

Pre-Tournament Mixer

When: Friday, May 24, 2013 Time: 6-9 PM

Where: The Brickhouse, Dupont, PA

$5 donation at the door which includes raffle tickets for Baskets of Cheer

Raffle baskets, 50/50, drink specials

** If anyone feels so inclined, Baskets of Cheer are needed.** 

6th Annual Golf  Tournament

Benefiting Breast Cancer Awareness in honor of Barb Sciandra

Where: Stone Meadows Golf Course (Route 115 Buck Township) Dupont VFW (Dinner)

When: Saturday, May 25, 2013 8 AM Registration, 9 AM Shotgun Start

Format: Captain & Crew

Cost: $80 per golfer (Fees include: green fees, cart, dinner, shirt and prizes) $20 dinner only option

Sponsor Levels: $100 (Gold), $50 (Silver)

For more information, contact Jeanna Mihalka at 570-237-0521.

Our friends were also kind enough to set up and online donation site if you wish to do so.  The following is the link:   http://www.donationto.com/Liberty-Tax-Barb-Sciandra-Fundraiser

So, I can’t wait until all of this is over.  My biggest worry at this point is the “what if” question.  What if it comes back?  I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep fighting, but I don’t want this to be my family’s life.  I don’t want Sal to have to deal with this for the next number of years.  My kids won’t really remember 2012-2013 and I don’t want them to remember it.  I don’t want my kids to think that their Mom shaving her head and undergoing surgery or treatments is normal.  None of this is normal.  I want to be here for my husband and my kids.  I want to be alive and healthy.  It’s tough not to think about your own mortality when you’re faced with something like this.  I don’t want to die.  I’m not ready to die.  How can I be blessed with an awesome husband and 3 beautiful, healthy children and then not be given the opportunity to raise them?  I read a book called The Last Lecture a few years ago.  I have it sitting on our entertainment center with a few other books.  I picked it up to start reading it again and I had to put it down.  If you’re not familiar with the book, consider reading it.  It’s an easy read and it’s really an excellent and inspiring book.  Randy Pausch, a married professor with 3 small children, was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and put his last lecture at Carnegie Mellon into a book.  I couldn’t read it again because it hit too close to home.

Anyway………

I have some television updates for you.  Please don’t think that I forgot about How I Met Your Mother.  I was on such a kick because Sal and I were watching seasons 1-7 on Netflix every single night.  I can’t wait to watch season 8 in its entirety.  It’s the greatest show ever!  If you watch television, check out The Mindy Project.  It’s hilarious.  I was watching Dateline the other night and I had a revelation.  If I don’t make it to heaven right away, I’m going to have to listen to Keith Morrison while I’m waiting for the pearly gates to open!  He has such a creepy voice!  I recently saw Oprah’s interview with Chelsea Handler.  Handler is a handful!  She is so funny!  I realized something as I was listening to her.  She said that people act like they know her when they meet her.  She said, though, that they really do.  She’s not an actress and she’s real when she writes.  I got to thinking that anyone reading this really knows me, too.  I’m being honest and I haven’t candy-coated anything.  Each one of you has a very personal look at what’s going on in my life and in my head.

I need to mention something else tonight.  I can’t stress it enough.  BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE.  What is wrong with our healthcare system?  One of my very good friends whose Mom is undergoing treatment for breast cancer got a hold of me to tell me that her OB-GYN didn’t see the need for her to have a mammogram.  My friend will be 35 at the end of this month.  Are you kidding me??  Luckily, my girlfriend is smart enough to know how messed up this is.  She’s making arrangements to have the mammo done through another healthcare provider.  What the hell????  If she just put her trust in the provider that normally schedules this type of test, she’d be waiting until she’s 40.  Her Mom’s genetic testing is negative but we all know that it doesn’t really matter.  My genetic testing was negative, too.  This just means that my mutation isn’t the common, BRCA1 or BRCA2.  Get this, I just learned that my paternal grandmother most likely had breast cancer.  She passed from liver cancer but the doctor told my family that the liver wasn’t her primary area.  My grandmother’s sister had breast cancer and so did their mother, my great grandmother.  This would have been useful information for me about 20 years ago.  Anyway, my point is this:  your doctor is in charge of your healthcare but so are you.  If you want a test scheduled, find a way to get it done.  If you feel like something isn’t right, seek advice from your physician.  If you’re not satisfied with the answer that you receive, go for a second opinion.  This is so important.  It’s your life.  Take control of it.

One last thing.  I feel as though I’ve earned the right to call people a weenie.  Don’t make me call you one.  It’s not a form of flattery!

“The brick walls are there for a reason.  The brick walls are not there to keep us out.  The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.  Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough.  They’re there to stop the other people.”  – Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

People say I’m crazy doing what I’m doing

Well they give me all kinds of warnings to save me from ruin

When I say that I’m o.k. they look at me kind of strange

Surely you’re not happy now you no longer play the game

People say I’m lazy dreaming my life away

Well they give me all kinds of advice designed to enlighten me

When I tell that I’m doing fine watching shadows on the wall

Don’t you miss the big time boy you’re no longer on the ball?

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I really love to watch them roll

No longer riding on the merry-go-round

I just had to let it go

People asking questions lost in confusion

Well I tell them there’s no problem

Only solutions

Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind

I tell them there’s no hurry… I’m just sitting here doing time

I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round

I really love to watch them roll

No longer riding on the merry-go-round

I just had to let it go

– John Lennon

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!

Three Little Birds   

by:  Bob Marley

“Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!”

Rise up this mornin’,
Smiled with the risin’ sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin’, (“This is my message to you-ou-ou:”)

Here’s a picture of My Three Little Birds wishing you a belated Happy St. Patrick’s Day!  P.S.  Sal plays this song for the kids on their way to school in the morning.  We might be raising some Rastas!

As I was trying to think of a title for this post, a bunch of things popped into my head:  The Heat is On; A Spiritual Reflection; Out of the Closet; Don’t Worry, Be Happy; She’s a Brick……House; All Things Must Pass; and A Patient’s Perspective.  Give me a second and I’ll explain.  But, before I go on, I wanted to wish my oldest daughter, Jameson, a Happy 6th Birthday!  Jameson’s birthday is March 26.  We partied like kindergarten rock stars last weekend!

The Heat is On:  So much has happened since I last wrote.  I’m sorry that it’s been so long, but life has been bonkers!  In a good way, though.  Life is for the living so keep on truckin’!  I had my ovaries removed on March 15.  Sal and I stayed in Hotel Slumsylvania again for convenience sake thinking that I would have to be at the hospital for 5:30am.  As it turns out, I didn’t need to be there until 9:15am, so we slummed it for nothing!  We had a date night on Thursday evening.  I was a cheap date being that I was using a colon prep and could only have clear liquids for 24 hours prior to the procedure!  We walked up to Penn’s campus and saw Oz-The Great and Powerful in 3D.  It was a good movie and it was nice to be out, just the 2 of us.  So, getting back to our shit hole of a hotel – on the morning of the procedure, I heard Sal scream a profanity from the bathroom followed by, “You’re  not going to believe this.  Oh my God, Barb, you had to see this to believe it.”  Not surprisingly, a very long water bug crawled up out of the sink drain while Sal was shaving.  That place is such a dump.  I can’t believe that we’ve stayed there twice.

I started radiation on Wednesday, March 20, and will continue until the end of May.  It’s longer than we originally anticipated but it’s because of the type of radiation that I’m receiving.  I’m receiving tomotherapy which is a newer type of radiation therapy.  I receive very intense radiation at the beginning of treatments and less intense, more specific radiation towards the end of treatment.  Because of my age, Dr. Peters, my radiation oncologist, was concerned about radiating my heart, specifically the left anterior descending artery.  He did 4 simulations and liked me on the tomotherapy the best.  I texted some of college roommates to let them know what radiation sounds like.  During my last four years of college, myself and 4 other girls, stayed in a house on South 42nd Street in West Philadelphia.  Sal and I drove through the campus a month or so ago and we still can’t believe that my parents let me go there!  Anyway, as you can imagine, our college house was no Ritz Carlton!  My bedrooms (yes, I had 2 bedrooms because they were so small) were up on the third floor of the house.  At one point, it was literally raining into my bedroom.  Knowing what I know now, our house probably needed a new roof 10 years before we moved into it!  Also, there were squirrels in the walls of the house.  We were able to hear them running through the walls, especially at night.  I know – classy place!  Anyway, for 5 minutes every day, Monday through Friday, I feel like I’m back on S. 42nd St.  Radiation sounds like squirrels running through the walls of my old West Philly house.  Good times!

So, part of tomotherapy is getting a CAT Scan prior to every treatment.  They do this to make sure that everything is aligned perfectly.  The CAT Scan takes about 4 minutes and the radiation, itself, takes exactly 4.7 minutes.  During radiation I usually pray.  I always say a Hail Mary, a Memorare, and a prayer to St. Peregrine.  I pray to Mary all of the time.  Here’s my reasoning.  Let’s face it – it doesn’t matter how old we are, our mothers always tell us what to do.  I would imagine that the same holds true for Jesus.  I figure that if I pray to Mary and her mother, Ann, Jesus is getting nagged from his mother and his grandmother!  Side note:  all of this holds true unless you’re a Greek or an Italian male.  Then, your mother thinks you’re perfect.  Oh, you know it’s true!  So, I’m hoping that Jesus is neither Greek or Italian.  Sorry, Nicole A.!!  Jesus is most likely Irish!!

A Spiritual Reflection:  The weirdest thing happened on our way home from Philadelphia last Friday.  I had my procedure done on March 15 – The Ides of March and my Dad’s 8 year death anniversary.  I feel that if you allow yourself to be open to it, you can have moments of extreme clarity – some very spiritual moments as well.  When I was a kid, someone bought me a Snoopy record player.  There was a little plastic device that you could put on the player that allowed one to play 45’s (the really small records).  My Dad had a ton of them.  I remember listening to The Beatles and The Beach Boys on my record player quite often.  The 45’s had one song on one side and another song on the opposite side.  I thought that I was so cool walking around with a case full of records.  Anyway, another song that I listened to all of the time was called The Unicorn by the Irish Rovers.  It’s a pretty terrible song but that’s besides the point.  I don’t think I’ve heard this song since 1985, but it came on the radio while we were headed home on 76.  Tell me that wasn’t my Dad saying hello.

As I’ve been going through all of this, I’ve seen some really sick people out there.  I saw a woman at U Penn a few weeks back who looked awfully sick.  She was in the waiting area with, what appeared to be her husband and her son.  I couldn’t look at them because I was afraid that I was going to start crying.  I started saying a prayer for the woman and her family immediately.  It makes me feel better when I pray.  I’ve seen some really sick looking people in the radiation waiting area, as well.  I do pray every night and I ask God to be merciful in sparing me a recurrence.  I want to devote the rest of my life to my husband and children.  Sal and I joke quite often that if our kids are messed up, we want it to be because of the 2 of us, no one else!

Out of the Closet:

Above is a picture of Chase and I taken last week after I read to his Pre-K class.  His teacher was kind enough to send it to me.  I stopped wearing Sugar not too long ago.  She looks like she’s been involved in a nasty ass bar fight.  Really.  I decided to stop hiding under hats, too.  I haven’t hidden from anyone or anything up until this point, so enough is enough.  So, I’m out of the closet!  I’m here……it’s short……get used to it!  Everyone has been commenting about my texture and color, too.  My hair is coming back with a vengeance – very thick.  I can’t say too much about the color.  I’ve been getting my hair highlighted since high school, so I have no idea what my real hair color is.  If my hair started coming back purple I can’t say that I’d be surprised!  Well…..ok……I would be surprised, but you get the message!  I have an appointment with my friend, Nacole, to get it dyed or highlighted next Thursday.  It could use to be a bit brighter.  We’re going to spice it up a notch – BAM!

Don’t Worry, Be Happy:  I can literally count on one hand the number of things that I actually give a shit about!  Things that used to bother me don’t get to me at all anymore.  You should see my house.  It’s a wreck – by my standards.  Our bedroom is a mess, I haven’t cleaned the kids closets in months, and the laundry is piled sky high.  I started taking on the attitude of – it will get done when it gets done.  I’ll get to it eventually.  It’s been much more important for me to live – be at the kids school, spend time with my family and friends, enjoy life rather than worry about this stupid crap.  Who cares!

So, they don’t know it yet, but I’ve selected my neighbor and friend, Holly, to be my fitness life coach and my neighbor, cousin, and friend, Anne, to be my organic guru life coach!  I’m going to be bugging you guys really soon.  I’ve had a cold for the past 2 weeks which is why I haven’t started running yet, but I’d love to run the Pittston YMCA 5K at the end of May.  Stay tuned!

I went to Weight Watchers yesterday and am 2 pounds below my high goal weight.  I still have 15 more pounds to go.  So, let’s dispel the rumors now before they start.  No, I’m not sick.  Yes, I can still afford to lose 15 more pounds.  No, I’m not obsessed with losing weight, but the Fisher stubbornness and determination is a force to reckoned with!  My mind is fixated on a healthy BMI and I will not stop until I get to it.  I’m doing everything in a healthy manner.  I’m not starving myself.  Any other ridiculous thoughts that you might have, please ask me.  Just know that Weight Watchers does work if you’re interested in losing weight in a healthy manner.  I didn’t cheat to get to where I am right now.  I paid a high price starting in August 2012 with 20 weeks of chemo followed by 2 major surgeries followed by radiation followed by more treatments.  I’ve been working really, really hard to get healthy.  I’ll trade you!!

She’s a Brick……House:  I cracked myself up when I thought of this title!  Anyway, I have some information to provide in this section.

6th Annual Liberty Tax Fundraiser:

Pre-Tournament Mixer

When: Friday, May 24, 2013 Time: 6-9 PM

Where: The Brickhouse, Dupont, PA

$5 donation at the door which includes raffle tickets for Baskets of Cheer

Raffle baskets, 50/50, drink specials

6th Annual Golf  Tournament

Benefiting Breast Cancer Awareness in honor of Barb Sciandra

Where: Stone Meadows Golf Course (Route 115 Buck Township) Dupont VFW (Dinner)

When: Saturday, May 25, 2013 8 AM Registration, 9 AM Shotgun Start

Format: Captain & Crew

Cost: $80 per golfer (Fees include: green fees, cart, dinner, shirt and prizes) $20 dinner only option

Sponsor Levels: $100 (Gold), $50 (Silver)

For more information, contact Jeanna Mihalka at 570-237-0521.

Our friends were also kind enough to set up and online donation site if you wish to do so.  The following is the link:   http://www.donationto.com/Liberty-Tax-Barb-Sciandra-Fundraiser

I wanted to also give a quick shout out for Sal’s cousin, Attorney Qiana Murphy Lehman, who is running for magisterial district judge.  Her district includes Avoca, Dupont, Duryea, Hughestown, and Pittston.  Qiana is a great attorney and is a wonderful wife, mother, and friend.  Please visit her website for more information on her campaign and don’t forget to vote!  qianafordistrictjudge.nationbuilder.com

All Things Must Pass:  I’m not sure if any of you have seen any recent interviews with Valerie Harper.  Harper was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer on January 15, but she made an excellent point in one of her interviews.  She stated that we’re all terminal.  Think about it.  We’re all going to die.  Every single one of us.  Am I going to die sooner than you?  I don’t know.  Are you going to die in a car crash on your way to work?  I don’t know.  Are you going to choke on your dinner tomorrow night?  Who knows!  The thing is, since we’re all terminal and none of us know when it’s going to happen, we should probably just try to ignore the fact that the end is coming at some point or another and we should try to sit back and enjoy the ride!

“Don’t go to the funeral until the day of the funeral.  Live this day.”  – Valerie Harper

A Patient’s Perspective:  A letter is coming soon!  Stay tuned!

The following quote is hanging on the wall in the changing room of NROC, my radiation center.  I wanted to share it with all of you.

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”  – Frederick Keonig

Have a wonderful evening and a very Happy and Healthy Easter from my family to yours!

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!