Closure, as defined by dictionary.com, is a bringing to an end; conclusion.
At the end of any relationship, I believe it’s all that we’re ever really looking for. Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don’t. Throughout the course of my relationship with Sal dating back to 1994, we probably broke up and got back together 3 dozen times! I never had closure and I guess there’s a good reason for it. We ended up getting married! I honestly don’t know what I would do without him. This past year has been tough and it’s been especially tough for Sal. If you don’t know Sal, personally, he’s a wonderful human being and I’m so lucky to be married to such a great person.
Yesterday, I had what is hopefully my last procedure with sedation ever. Sal and I traveled to Penn where I had my port removed and had minor tweaking done on both breasts as well as on my abdominal incision. I hope to have the nipple tattooing done in 6-12 weeks once the breasts are completely healed. This will be an in-office procedure and takes about 30 minutes – 1 hour. For some reason, yesterday’s procedure ended up being the worst one! I know! Of all of the procedures that I’ve had done this year, the simplest one was the toughest! I don’t do well with pain meds at all which is why I choose not to take them. I had a rough time with the anesthesia, too, and ended up getting sick on the car ride home. It’s over and done with, though, thank goodness.
Tomorrow, I have my very last Herceptin treatment. Thomas Lee, the fifth grade student from Holy Rosary who initiated two Think Pink, Wear Pink days, will be accompanying Sal and I. The money that Holy Rosary raised for me and my family is going to be donated to the Prescription Assistance Fund at MOA – Medical Oncology Associates – my local oncologist’s office. I asked Thomas to come with me so that he can receive a tour of the facility, see how the medications are administered, and learn how the money raised will be put into action.
Lastly, as I near the completion of my overall therapy, I am still trying to enroll in Dr. Czerniecki’s vaccine clinical trial. Please keep your fingers crossed and continue to keep me and my family in your prayers.
So, why am I talking about closure? I was trying to figure out a good ending point with this blog – a time when all is said and done and cancer is no longer a part of my life. Unfortunately, this will never happen. I’ll never have closure when it comes to cancer. No cancer patient will ever have closure because once you have cancer, even though it may be cured or in remission, it still lingers around. You think about it and you worry about it and you hope that you never need to deal with it again. So, I am going to continue writing as long as you continue reading. I’ll keep you updated on the day-to-day things that occur in my life and will also keep you updated on my progress. Hopefully, I’ll never need to write about cancer treatments, procedures or Sugar ever again!
My site is going to be undergoing maintenance so I apologize if you’re having trouble accessing it for a while. As long as you’re signed up for e-mail updates, you’ll be notified when another post is made. Thanks again for all of your support. I truly appreciate you taking the time to read what I write.
LIVESTRONG and God Bless!
