Happy Saturday Afternoon!  I wanted to thank all of you that supported me in 2013’s Race for the Cure.  I’ll be posting pictures soon.  I’m sorry that I didn’t get a chance to speak with everyone on “Barb’s Army”.  Somehow, I ended up running with an empty stroller while chasing after Chase (ha!  chasing after Chase!  funny!), Sal ended up carrying Cameron for 3 miles, and Sal’s sister, Audra, pushed Jameson and her daughter, Andie, in a double stroller.  I have no idea how this happened but it was a great day, nonetheless!  The weather held out for the walk, the luncheon, and Jameson’s afternoon soccer game.  My very generous aunt and uncle, Tina and Pat, planned a wonderful catered brunch for everyone by our favorite caterers, The Epicurean Delight.  We only had one snag over the weekend – the tent, table and chairs that I rented were delivered and set-up on Thursday afternoon.  They were removed on Tuesday morning.  Well, on Tuesday morning, my sister, my aunt and I were sitting at my kitchen table when a panicked young man knocked on our sliding glass door.

• Dude:  Can you turn off your gas?
• Me:  Ummmm……I can check but I’m not sure.
• Dude:  I, uh, hit your gas line and gas is shooting up in your yard.

So, because I’m clueless, I called Sal at work who told me to wake the baby and to get out of the house.  Needless to say, we had a mini-fiasco here!  Sal called 911 and UGI.  To make a long story short, when the tent was installed on Thursday, they drove a stake perfectly through the gas line – the line that runs from the street to our house.  We had no issues until they removed the stake.  We’re very lucky since our caterers were using open flames on Saturday afternoon.  That young guy is lucky he wasn’t smoking when the leak occurred.  I guess I’m lucky, too, considering we would have had an explosion in our yard.  The kicker is, the dude and his associates took off.  He didn’t wait for the police to come to file a report.  When I called the tent company, the owner told me that it’s not their responsibility and that her guys were already on their way to the Poconos for another job.  Everyone is always just so quick to C-Y-A that no one even worries about doing the right thing anymore.  Anyway, at least all is ok and no one was hurt.

 

There was some controversy at the Komen walk this year!  Can you believe that there was a “Barbara’s Army” this year with pink camouflage t-shirts?!  Copying is the highest form of flattery, right?!!  My team was buzzing about this.  It was pretty funny!

 

I got chatting with an older lady after the walk on my way back to the car.  Here’s how the conversation went:

• Lady:  Great cause.
• Me:  Yes, it is.
• Lady:  I had breast cancer (waiting for a sympathetic response).
• Me:  Me, too.
• Lady (eyes getting big):  Stage 1
• Me:  Stage 2 in the right and Stage 3 in the left
• Lady (jaw dropping):  You had it in both?
• Me:  Yes.
• Lady:  I had a lumpectomy and radiation
• Me:  Chemo, double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction, oophorectomy, radiation, and aromatase inhibitor
• Lady:  You didn’t lose your hair.  That’s great.
• Me:  It grew back already.
• YADA, YADA, YADA

This annoys me.  Why do people expect sympathy?  It drives me nuts.  And, why does there seem to be a pissing contest over who had it worse?  I hate when people say that they “only had stage 1 or stage 2 cancer”.  You had C-A-N-C-E-R!  None of it is good!  Holy Moly!

 

So, as many of you already know, I used to consider myself the “Queen of mixed tapes”!  Yes, very 90’s!  Most likely, if we were friends in high school or college, you received one of my tapes!  My cousin, Christy, sent me an awesome mixed CD this past week.  Christy is introducing me to some new music which I love.  It’s an awesome eclectic mix – right up my alley.  This inspired me to start a new play list.  So, here is what’s on my latest iPhone mix right now, and thanks, Christy, for the ideas:

• L.IF.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. – Noah and the Whale
• This Too Shall Pass – OK Go
• Sight of the Sun – Fun
• Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes – Paul Simon
• I Love It – Icona Pop
• Walls (Heart so Big) – Tom Petty
• Cups – Anna Kendrick
• Glad Tidings – Van Morrison
• Empire State of Mind – Jay-Z and Alicia Keys
• Harvest Moon – Neil Young
• 32 Flavors – Alana Davis
• Downeaster Alexa – Billy Joel
• The Spirit of Radio – Rush
• Halo/Walking on Sunshine – Glee
• Glass of Water – Coldplay

 

I’ve never been an anxious person.  Neurotic, yes, anxious, no!  I’m not sure if this past year just started creeping up on me or if I’ve had too much going on, but my insides have flipping out!  I spent the last year fighting like hell to just keep my head above water.  It was tougher than it looked.  Last week, I felt like a big ball of nerves.  I can empathize with anyone who suffers from anxiety or depression.  A week was long enough for me.  I worry a lot about a cancer recurrence and what this would mean for me or my family.  I feel like Pigpen with a dark cloud following me around sometimes.  It’s a really crummy feeling which is why I try to ignore it.  HER2+ breast cancer spreads to the brain more commonly than any other type of breast cancer and it’s tough to treat because of the blood/brain barrier.  This scares me.  A lot.   Again, this is why research is so important.  Drugs like Herceptin have hopefully decreased the instances of this occurring by preventing the spread before cancer has a chance to make it to the brain.  I’m trying to take my own advice which is to just continue to live life to the fullest.  That’s an easy thing for me to do since I love my life.

 

There is nothing worse than listening to people talk who think that they’re better than others.  I’ve started humanizing things.  I think that I just made up that word!  Feel free to use it!  Anyway, I’ve always been half decent at relating to other people.  I’ve never had a tough time making friends and I’ve always tried to be nice to everyone.  I really don’t care about your title or your status in society.  Actually, I could give two shits about it!  If you’re a kind person with a good heart, then we’re all good.  I stopped being self-conscious around other people who act like they’re better than I am.  We’re all just people swimming through life in the grand scheme of things.  If we treated each other as such, we’d all get along much better.

 

One person who deserves to act like she’s better than anyone else, however, is Valerie Harper.  This actress was diagnosed with an incurable form of brain cancer in March.  She was told, at the time, that she only had 3 months to live.  She is now competing on this season’s Dancing With The Stars and credits, in part, her positive attitude with helping to get her through the tough days.  If you ask me, Harper rocks!

 

I found a great website in my Internet googling.  It allows you to list all of your breast cancer info – receptor status, surgical status, chemo, radiation, etc. – and then matches you up and lists every clinical trial that you’re eligible for in the United States.  It will also e-mail you directly if any new trials come up.  Pretty, cool, right?

 

I was reminded of one of my favorite lines from The Godfather III – “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”  I don’t like hasty decisions and Sal and I have vowed to never make another one.  I’m really struggling with the decision that I need to make regarding the money that’s been raised up until this point.  I have almost $15,000 put away.  Here is what I’m struggling with – people have put a lot of time and energy into raising this money.  I don’t want to just give it away.  I’ve started looking into partnering up with an already existing organization but I don’t like the way that the money will be used.  There is no guarantee that the money won’t be used for administrative costs or for breast cancer research only.  I haven’t looked into handing it to a doctor, directly.  I think about starting my own organization but I don’t want breast cancer to become my life’s mission.  However, I don’t think that I’ll be happy raising funds for another organization when I know too much about how these non-profits operate.  I know that I, personally, can do a better job.  I have a lot of passion and a lot of drive.  I am so lucky to have so many supporters and truly generous people who want to help me.   I would feel a lot better coming up with a tax deductible non-profit organization and giving people the opportunity to donate to research directly.  Stay tuned.  Like I told my mother-in-law, most things in life that require a lot of work are the things that are worth it in the end.  If it was easy, everyone would do it.

 

I hope that each one of you took the time to watch the season premier of How I Met Your Mother this past Monday.  I thought that both episodes were great!  I’m looking forward to watching a wonderful season.

 

Have a wonderful weekend!  We’re off to the pumpkin patch soon!  Enjoy this beautiful weather!

 

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!