Sal and I traveled to Penn 2 weeks ago for a follow-up with Dr. Serletti.  I’ll get back to that.  On the way home, I told Sal that I’ve felt the best that I ever had in my life.  I told him – and I really feel this way – that this past year hasn’t been so bad.  I mean, I wanted a breast reduction anyway.  I’ve hated my chest since high school.  Really.  Sal looked at me while he was merging on to 76 and said, “Barb!  Are you crazy??!!  You’ve been through hell!  You could have gotten a breast reduction much easier than going through all of this!  It’s like saying that your house burning down is not a big deal since you were going to move anyway!”  Is it weird that I think that’s ok, too?  I really wouldn’t sweat that, either, as long as everyone is out of the house safe and sound.  Who cares?  You’re house is just filled with stuff, anyway.  Yes, it would stink to lose little keepsakes like baby pictures, a wedding album, etc. but no one died.  The same for this past year – I didn’t die.  I had to power through a few tough things but don’t we all?  This year taught me how to eat better, how to set a better example for my kids and it put my life into perspective.  As long as I make it through all of this without an untimely short life, the ability to raise my children and the task of driving my husband crazy for many more years then the struggle was well worth it!  And, I got the smaller chest that I wanted!  I’m just chalking 2012-2013 up to life experience.  Like I said, you might think I’m crazy!

 

We’ve come a long way since October of last year!

I don’t think that I ever posted this picture.  I know that I texted it to a few you last year just to be an ass!  This is to serve as a reminder to never lose your sense of humor.  How about how bald I was?!  Completely!  Sal and Ann – “I’m losing my hair!  I really am!”  My head was decorated with last year’s Halloween candy!  I still can’t believe that I had no hair.  It really did fall out!

 

This is from my neighbors, Cheryl and Kellie – 2 of THE most thoughtful people on the planet.  It’s my very own, Living, Fighting, Believing pumpkin!  Hope you had a great birthday, Kel!  We love you guys!

 

So, what’s been going on?  I had my second to last Herceptin treatment on Thursday.  Sal and I also met with Dr. Saidman.  We had a great appointment.  He seems very pleased with the way that everything is going.  I really hope that I kicked this to the curb for good.  Doc’s office is always decorated so nicely.  It really is a pleasant atmosphere – for an oncologist’s office and treatment center!  The office is decked out in pink for the entire month of October.  They have a huge fundraiser every October to raise money for their Prescription Assistance Fund.  The office staff is so wonderful.  They really are.

 

As I started to mention, we met with Dr. Serletti 2 weeks ago.  I’m scheduled for what is hopefully my last procedure ever on Monday, November 4.  Dr. Serletti will be doing my 3D nipple tattoos, tweaking what isn’t “perfect” and removing my port at the same time.  I want all of this done in one shot so I don’t have to go under general anesthesia twice.  I’ve had enough anesthesia to last a lifetime this year!  I’m getting my port out before my last Herceptin treatment because if I were to wait until after my last treatment – which is on Wednesday, November 6 – I’d have to wait until the end of December until Dr. Serletti has availability again.  This would mean scheduling appointments to have the port flushed and having one more thing cancer-related hanging over my head for the holidays.  No, thanks! Sal and I will be traveling to Penn on Thursday for my pre-admission testing.  I hope I don’t have the same tech that asked me to put tape on my nipples!

 

I finally spoke with someone from Penn yesterday regarding Dr. Czerniecki’s vaccine clinical trial.  I’ll admit it.  Yes, I’ve been stalking the office!  I’ve been calling every week for about 6 weeks to let them know that I’m interested in enrolling, that I’m close to finishing Herceptin, to keep me in the loop, etc. etc.  Good news for me, bad news for them – open enrollment was supposed to have started already.  It hasn’t.  Anything involving the FDA can take longer than anticipated.  33 patients will be enrolled and Penn is hoping that enrollment will begin in 3 weeks.  I’m finished with Herceptin in 3 weeks and am willing to start the vaccine process the next day.  The trial will require me to travel to Penn once a week for 6 weeks straight then every 3 months for 1 year.  Put me in, coach!  I’m ready to play!  I’m full-blown neurotic and will do whatever it takes to prevent this monster from growing inside of me again.  Honeybadger. Don’t. Care.

 

I mentioned before that I completely blocked out a good portion of last year.  As I’m starting to think back to everything that happened one year ago today – and so on – I can’t remember a lot.  My short-term memory is also a little fuzzy.  I used to be really sharp.  My friend, Lindsay, and I call it our “elephant memory”!  We couldn’t forget things if we tried to!  Now, I can’t remember things that I should be able to!  I’m not sure if I should attribute this to chemo brain or menopause.  Christ!  It stinks to be a woman sometimes!

 

I really need to get back to exercising on a regular basis.  Everyone says that chasing after 3 kids is enough but it really isn’t.  I need to get back to the gym to start running and lifting weights, most importantly.  I’m at a higher risk for developing heart disease and osteoporosis because I had my ovaries removed.  I’m dreading putting Cameron in the YMCA daycare for an hour, though.  Cameron, you see, hates everyone!  She has stranger danger amplified!  It will be good for me – and Cameron – to get started doing this sooner than later because it will make starting Pre-K in a few years easier on both of us.  I hesitate to tell this story but it was hilarious – something right out of a movie.  On Chase’s first day of school this year, I saw a little boy hanging on to the fence.  His Dad was trying to pull him off of the fence to get him into the school.  The little boy was actually hanging horizontally.  I’m sorry if you were the boy or the parent and you’re reading this, but it gave me a chuckle and broke my heart at the same time.  This, ladies and gentlemen, will be my daughter in 2 more years!

 

I’m starting to realize even more what a special bond I have with Cameron.  It’s crazy to think that Cameron – that tiny little girl – saved my life.  I love her age.  She can’t speak many words just yet but she knows how to communicate.  Sal and I taught all 3 of our kids a few baby signs – just enough to get us by so we would know what they needed – more, please, thank you, all done.  Cam is so funny.  She screams, “MAAA!!” constantly.  She is high-pitched and doesn’t sound like much of a lady!  Audra and Mark’s baby boy was baptized last weekend.  Mark’s sister happened to hear Cam scream, “MAAA!!!!” and said, “the meatloaf!”  Check out this video from Wedding Crashers and it will make sense:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqwAXk8c2Ew

 

Speaking of mama bear.  I didn’t mention mama bear?  Well, I did now.   Mama Bear came out a few weekends ago.  Let me say this.  I am a HUGE soccer fan.  I started playing the sport when I was 6 years old.  I love it.  I would love it even more if one of my three children liked it!  It’s painful for me to watch my children play.  Jameson, God love her, is too sweet to be playing soccer.  She doesn’t have an aggressive bone in her body.  James would rather pick daisies and tell the other girls how pretty their hair looks.  She cheers for the other team when score a goal, too!  Anyway, this is one of those instances when it’s ok for me to say that Jameson is better equipped for doing other things but no one else is allowed to say that.  It was really difficult for me to watch other kids being mean to my daughter – pushing her around, actually, because she was daydreaming on the soccer field.  Why are little kids, girls especially, mean?  I don’t get it.  I felt my insides going crazy and wanting to scream at those kids and their parents!  I now know why real life mama bears attack!

 

Finally, after over 7 years, I’m starting to get my fashion mo-jo back.  I used to have a shopping problem – ask Colleen!  We spent many trips to the King of Prussia Mall – a shopper’s promised land – spending money that we didn’t have.  We’d feel better about charging things we shouldn’t have at lunchtime over a martini – or two!  I’ve been cleaning house around here.  I think after the mastectomy I had 10 bags of my own clothes go to good will.  I’m slowly starting to replace things.  I’m not just saying this – I feel the best that I’ve ever felt.  It’s amazing how much your diet affects your life, your energy level, and your overall sense of health.

 

I had my first shot at modeling a few weeks ago!  Yes, it’s perfectly ok to make fun of me for this!  This is not “my thing” at all.  I am the person who woke up with hives on the day of her bridal shower and paged the dermatologist.  Who pages a dermatologist?!  My sister had to run out and pick up hydrocortisone cream that morning.  Oh, yes.  True story!  I’m a nervous wreck when it’s all eyes on me and I really dislike surprises.  Anyway, I agreed to do this for my friend, Nacole.  Nacole has been a friend of mine since high school.  She was so, so good to me this past year.  I’ll be forever grateful to her for allowing Sal and me to come in with Sugar.  She put us in a private room and styled Sugar for me before I lost my hair.  She let me drop off the damn wig to wash it and restyle it.  Nacole is a saint!  So, the salon where Nacole works had a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society’s Making Strides Against Breast Cancer.  It was a great cause and ended up being a fun night out.  The salon’s owner, Angie, is one of the most generous people you’d ever meet.  She matched what was raised that night and donated everything to Making Strides.  The salon was decorated beautifully and they were so kind to “the models”.  Thanks to Jameson, my Mom and Aunt Tina and my friends, Angie, Nicole A, and Nicole F for coming out to heckle me!  James was too cute!

 

Thanks to each one of you – and largely in part due to the amazing Faculty and Staff of Holy Rosary – $585 and growing was raised between the time of the Komen walk and now.  All of this money has been placed in a special account for safe keeping until we figure out what to do.  My thoughts as of right now are this – to give half of the money to Dr. DeMichele and half of the money to Dr. Czerniecki for their research, respectively.  Then, I’d like to set up my own fundraising page through the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.  So far, this foundation seems to make the most sense to me.  91 cents of every dollar raised goes directly to breast cancer research.  This is all speculative but this foundation seems to have everything that I would want my own foundation to have.  Check it out –    http://www.bcrfcure.org/  Keep in mind that I might change my mind tomorrow!  I have an internal struggle between setting up my own foundation and partnering up with an existing one.

 

So, how funny is it that a large portion of this past week’s How I Met Your Mother dealt with thank you notes?!  I’m telling you – if you don’t watch the show, please start watching it.  The last season ever just started a few weeks ago and it’s so funny.  I laughed my ass off on Monday when they were talking about thank you cards and timely etiquette.  FYI – my cards are well over a year past due.  That is NOT proper thank you card etiquette!

 

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and best of luck to a very special person on Tuesday morning.

 

LIVESTRONG and God Bless!